rewind~

my computer's been real shitty recently, plus i've been really lazy... to update.. yeah... so i'll do a rewind of the week~

24th (x'mas eve)
went to liz~'s church in the morning, her folks picked me up... her dad sprained his wrist the night b4~ so we went to this chinese sensei guy. She was evil n recorded the her dad in agony... tsk~

*u gotta till ur head a lil~


she said her dad slipped while opening the door... but i bet he hurt it by diving to push a baby carriage away from a rampaging truck or something.. the life of a secret agent~

afterwards we went to marina sq with her sisters to shop, then hung out at her place till midnight~ it was nice :)

25th (x'mas day)
i figured i would spend the day stoning at home... but there was a gathering at my grandma's place, so my mom n sis n i went.... it was cool i guess... played with the lil cousins... i got bored n took a vid of my lil cousin chewing on a ballon~



yeeeahh.... -_-

nothin happened on the 26th so....

27th
well nothin really happened today either, except tat my sister dyed my hair black today.. now i look retardedly emo... so kudos to tat~


28th
hung out with minty at Plaza Sing's starbucks to chill... talked for like more than 2 hrs so tat was cool~ luv the rain :)

29th (friiiiiiday~)
met Amirah & Aziana at TM. went to popular to buy my 10th journal book.. but there was something funky goin on with all the cash registers at the place... n there was like a 15min stand-still~ ate kfc for breakfast, then headed to sch.

The Engine sch's lab was crowded so i brought them to the IT sch one... which was sooo much cooler... but they ended up sending colourful e-mails to the e-guides person and checkin cellphone prices -_-~
met up with the turds n the 4 girls too.... didnt know they where in sch~ so was like.. running to 7th floor to hang with the turds... then to 5th floor to chat with the girls.. then back to 6th to disturb A & A~

Afterwards we went to the new courts & ikea place... took the shuttle bus there...this kid got his head stuck btw the poles when the door opened.. tat was such a laugh~ Inside, A & A had to go round touching everything.... the beds, the chairs, the refridgerators, tvs, bathrooms.... gawd~


later we ate at this stupid place hu served dinosaur meat n paid $4.50 for some lousy fish n' chips.... so i stole their drink in retailation.... cause im a rebel n all... hoo haa~ After tat, we had to wait like freakin 40min for the lousy ass bus to come.... this lil baby girl sat next to me n i kept lookin at her n makin grabbing actions at her when her grandma wasn't lookin.. then she kept tellin her grandma she was "pa" (which means scared in chinese) wooo im so mean~

30th (today~)
sloppy told me there was some lunch thing goin on at aloy's house... but i dont think im invited cause of the exile.. so i'll probably be hangin out with Yana later... i think she's gonna bring me around siglap to chill... yeah~

k im off to fold the remaining 400 paper cranes for Amirah~
boo ya~

friday friday~ laa dee daa :)

i was .. thinkin of a suitable title... then i realised, it was a friday... so yeah.. i luv fridays:)

apparently today was the festival of the lil pink balls~ i still cant remember wat their called... but their those chinese desserts tat are round & really soft n mushy and if u poke it, all the peanut oozes out into the soup~ yeeeah....

went to vivocity finally... liz~ needed to get a dress for a wedding thingy. Its... really big... yeah... really big... the clothes store were like, next to all the restarunts, so u could always smell food while shopping... i guess tats a turn on~

we walked all over the place, then went to the top with all the lil pond places to have a few fixes... weather was great as usual~ after more walkin around, we decided the dress from 'FOrever 21' was the best lookin one... so she bought tat~ Pretty lookin green dress with a wavey skirt~ lol...Ate CarL Jr. for dinner then headed home...

Wont be seeing liz~ till the 29th... tat sucks... im gonna be bored for another week~ plus with Xmas in just 2 more days, everyones busy with the family.... so no one's free to hang out... im gonna be the onli loser stuck at home just watchin all the lame-o Xmas specials on tv...

Hmmmm... i think im just gonna lay here on the floor till xmas is over....

yeeeeeeaahhhhh~

damn sun~

it was kinda cool in the morning at 1st, but then it got all sunny n shit... so.. tat sucked~ Spent the whole morning just stoning and suprizingly smoked alot today...

but later in the evening, went to 85 to meet maddy for dinner, she freakin ate like $20 worth of food... but she's still so thin... -_- She says i have high cheek bones... damn my feminine features!!!

then went to TM for a coffee fix at Starbucks... n she fooled around with my beanie...


after tat headed home... weather was really cool at night.. so tat was awesome~ hopefully it'll never stop rainning n start snowing soon~

yeeeaahh~
im so bored -_-

the next best thing~

its really cold, in places where there's snow~
the ice is everywhere... everythings white & calm...

In places where theres snow, u get to wear thick wool coats n fluffy jackets. Its nice & cosy.... it keeps ur fingers dry n warm when u go outside to touch~

In places where theres snow, everythings coated with the softness & chill of winter... even the hardest of things turn frail & weak from the layer of ice tat surrounds it~

But....
in places where there is no snow...... there's rain~

In places where there is no snow, the weather is wet and windy..... the air is moist and clean. You can smell the freshness of the earth & trees... it was like the world is taking a bath, washing away its sorrow & discontent~

In places where there is no snow, lightning & thunder replaces snowflakes & hail....

it flashes...
1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4.....
& the thunder explodes~

the storm, a mere 4 miles away... & drawing nearer every second~

In places where there is no snow, the days are lazy..... you sit at the home & u do nothin but watch... & feel.... & watch~
You follow every drop that falls down from the sky, and watch as it merges with the world as it hits the earth....

It flashes again....
1 Mississippi, 2~
*Boom*

In places where there is no snow, but rain instead... we can't go outside, we can't play... we can't go ice-skating, we can't toss snowballs....
So we relax, & watch & feel & watch....

just watch~

Cause in places where there is no snow....
we have the next best thing :)






Dedicated to joLene~
happy 18th

*insert random title here~

ho ho~ this sunday was quite unusual from my usual sundays usually spent doing nothin unusual but the usual stuff~

it started off pretty usual, since sundays are usually the unoffical "Family Day" mosy of my friends where out with their folks... except me of course.. cause my family's weird n all~ But this sunday, i went to my grandma's place to eat lunch... then watched BATMAN on HBO. After tat went home, did some chores n shit... the usual stuff...

Then all of a sudden this black lil doggy ran to my door n just sat there on the door mat...


so i started petting it n stuff.... my mom was beside me n totally freaked... keep sayin it was diseased n shit...


then it ran off, so i decided to chase it all over my block. I thought like, maybe its owner was in danger or something since it was too well groomed to be stray.


It ran all over the place n took me on a 10 min dash around my block.... onli to stop at this house with 2 other dogs in it, n they all started barkin at each other.... i asked if it was their dog, they said no... but they decided to let him in their home for awhile so, tats when i left~ i decided to name it Van Helsing cause its all black n ran around n shit... yeeeaahhh~

Then at about 6-ish, jF asked me to go town with her n the girls... so, since i had nothin better to do, i went... we went to Far East n all i did was carry their shoppin ... cause im kind and all :) Then outside near the hotel tat was near far east, there were cops n ambulance n a fire truck over there... till now i dont really know y.. it was either there was a fire, someone was tryin to kill themselves, or an animal was trapped there.... ~

but still, it was pretty cool to watch... HO! so coOooL :)
went to eat dinner at wisma then headed home~




stupid liz not going zoo with me anymore -_- i wanna see the animals!


rwaR!~

i like my new shoes : ) ho ho ho~

went shoppin with liz~ today.. was suppose to meet her in sch but woke up late.... so met her at the dentist's office instead.. she got multi-coloured dentures~ how cute :)

then went to TM & got a new pair of shoes~ look at them....



VANZ SHoES ! can u dig it~!
u like them dont u... u wanna touch them... ooh yes~

Then headed off to Bugis to do more shoppin .. got 3 shirts n a beanie... WoooOOoOoOoo~ spent about $140+ all money stolen from my mom of course.. cause im a poor basterd n all, n my mom's eviL so, this way, she cant buy that doom's day device she wanted for xmas~

afterwards went back to TM to do more shoppin..... walked around alot today... legs are tired... on the way back, liz knocked off already~ haha
maybe gonna hang out at her place again tomoro for Pizzaa~

i've never liked shoppin.. but its a pretty neat feelin u get from buyin stuff... i can see why girls like it... to bad about the "losing ur money part" though~

i like my new shoes, all hu touch them shall DIE~
ooh, n JF get well soon... bEsT FrIENdZ forevER! yay!
oh gawd im sound so gay~




i luv my fridays, yes i do~

Pictures Galore~

Here's a list of the retarded things we did at liz's house~

#1) PLay kinky Scrabble~
This was the hand she got... u thinkin wat im thinkin? i swear it was pure coincidence~








#2) Guitaarrrr~





#3) IcccEEee- CrreeAAaMmmmm~



#4) Ice-Cream & more Guitar~




#5) Make retarded Videos~






cam-Whoring is so fun... yes.. yes~

only on a friday~

wooo~ yesterday was so full of action n suspense... was too worn out by the drama last night, so.. im writing it now .... yeah... here it goes~

Lesson started at 8, had my lil alone time in the morning, very cool & very peaceful i must add~ Lab ended early, like at 9.30 so meet the turds in the lib n played a lil 'Marvel Vs. Capcom' to kill time till 11am. Met up with Liz n her friends Amirah & Aziana n went to TM's Long John Silver's. The Lunch Conversation was on Sex Change & Marylin Manson~ Unusual but highly entertaining :)

After lunch her friends headed off~ Me n liz went to get her contact lens solution n saw Han Wen there waiting for his Gf... moron smsed "BOND GIRL!" to me while liz was fiddling with my phone -_- so she smsed him back something lol! Caught bus 3 back & dropped at her stop to have my last fix~ Found a cool spot under the void deck with a huge circle we could sit in...

I walked liz back to her home, saw her mom on the way there.. WEIRD!~ Her house seemed pretty cooL... got garden n everything... so tranquiL~ Met her 2 younger sisters Van & Gloria... gave her a lil guitar lesson too. ( Remember to practice the G & C! ) Then met her adopted stray cat Mr BBZ... oh yes.. my Tattoo Artist called, said he opened his own place called "Sacred Needle" at Far East 4th Floor. Shall pay him a visit after the term test... check out the new place~

After awhile we went to this place called the "Cosy Corner" to study.. but after like 30 min we ended up playing Monopoly with this lil girL n her brother~ n they totally owned us... but they left in the middle of the game n left us to clear up -_-lil basterds ~

After chillin out on the sofa, we saw this woman screamin n shoutin, holding something in her hand... it was Mr BBZ, the guards had captured him n they kept him in a lil cardboard box wit no air holes.. real smart-_- n they where gonna just stab the box with a pen knife to make the hole while Mr BBZ was still in it... MORONS!

We managed to negotiate his release n probable death at the hands of the AVA... they agreed to give us custody. So we got this old n dirty cat cage liz had stored away n cleaned it up to transport Mr BBZ... after we got him inside, he managed to jump out of it cause one of the locks were'nt tightened properly... after tat he was dubbed Mr Bond aka. 007~ cause he lives a life of danger lol~

Liz managed to coax it from running away n i carried it n placed it back in the cage... We placed a bit of food in it but he was still pretty shaken up n scared.. kept meowing non-stop.. it was hard to hear~ I called Huda to ask if she could sort of adopt it n she agreed so that was cooL.. ( thanks huda, i'll never forget ur bday ever again )

She told me on the phone to feed it some milk to calm it down , so me n liz went over to the next condo's tiny ass convinent store for a pack of milk.... i fed it through the straw since 007 went all crazy n flipped the bowl inside the cage...~ we chilled out at her place watchin MTV till huda got home... then took a cab over. Havent seen her in a long long time so we had a cool chat n she thought us lots of stuff we never knew about cats... 007 had a bad gash on his forehead probably cause he bashed his head on the cage so many freakin times.. crazy ass cat-_-~

He surveyed the area, explored the bushes n the drains... we opened a can of friskies for it to eat... can tell tat it was real hungry~ After awhile, we brought 007 up to her place n chilled for a while... he surveyed the area outside while we played with huda's cat "Reno" which was some fancy ass persian house cat with oh so lushious white fur n pale blue eyes...:) it had a fetish with paper too so me n liz keep tossing balls of crunched up paper at it~

Huda went to take a bath n after tat we went to our usual hang out to have a fix... 007 followed... all of us had a nice chat... talked about sex n dancing lesbians... our conversations are always so kinky~ 007 was just sleepin at the floor... lazy cat -_-

it got kinda late so we decided to head back... 007 got to stay around huda's place so at least he'd be ok.. after all he's a super spy.. laughes in the face of danger n all tat.. so yeah~ Waited for a cab with liz n then she headed home...

And so ended this day of crazyness..... happy ending for Bond girL~ n her cat 007~
amazing how so many suprizes can happen in just 1 day....
only on a friday ey?
only on a friday~:)

ugly wednesdays~

i always feel particularly 'act cute' on wednesdays... cause i dont wear my colourful contacts on that dayn i'll look really ugly plus i lose my "badass-ness" appeal and instantly become geeky... so because of tat.. i do dumb things... n dont really care. yeaaahh~

we usually go swimming after apel on wednesdays... but since there was some lame-o briefing talk, n since term tests were next week.. and i was lazy... didnt go lah~ The turds called me at the last min to go to the dumb talk, so went there late n had to sit on the damn stairs... so uncooL~

i saw "girL from the bus" behind me... but didnt tell the turds about it... oh.. n liz was like 2 rows behind.. n didnt even tell me... so she probably saw me acting like a moron with sloppy and his damn thread that he pulled out of his shirt to amuse himself with~

i have a video... take a look~
Me: Sloppy waadru doing?
Sloppy: im makin a staarrr.... (*fiddles with the thread)
i have morons for friends~



hung out at the apple lab till liz was done with her cds, time really flew.. i was happyily chillin out at the sofa readin a book, then liz sms said she was done... so told her to come in n hang out~ She n Armiah were so amused... like never see computers before~

PLayed "Marble Blast" for a while, liz make so much noise -_- ball fall off then start screamming... lucky no one else there~ After a while, headed off.. oh! saw Minty at the other bus stop~ too bad she moved house, cant be bus 15 buddies anymore...

2 sticks left, shall quit again after im thru with them. Hopefully the power of the vice-roy shall make me pass my exams....

liz~ u own me ice-cream.. shall save it for a day when i need my chunkey monkey~

doo dee doo~

breakfast at macdonalds with liz :) so fun~
she woke up late so got pushed back a half hr... but i was still late -_- DUMB!
hu eats a Sausage macmuffin with curry sauce anyway~
then the Ben & Jerry's wasn't open yet.. so no ice-cream... wat the heLL~

had a couple of fixes with liz... she cant even strike the lighter properly... cannot make it lah~ went to meet JF n the girLs at IT to beat her up, but it was already lesson time, so went back to Engine... yeah.. retarded...~

THe dynamics quiz lasted 5 min long... had lunch with sloppy at engine canteen... cause hangin out with him made me loss my "cool-ness" so we couldn't eat at places like mensa or design, where all the cool ppl hung out at... yeah~

went to meet mega man for a fix, then off to lab... 2 hrs later meet the girls again.. hung out till 6, then the rest of the turds joined... hung out till 7.30-ish doing dumb stuff~ then... home~

i'll never understand mondays -_-
tomoro more gossip n ice-cream with liz~ yay :)

seriously?! SERIOUSLY??!

its a saturday n i had nothin to do.. so i decided to accompany isa to sch... yes.. sch... on a saturday... im such a loser... goin to sch... on a saturday.. instead of town or anyother place tat cool ppl go to on weekends~

went to eat at macdonalds for breakfast... then went to the lib alone to study while he did his notice board shit at IT sch.... spent like half the time stoning n doodling on the table... took some pictures n cam-whored a bit to amuse myself...


look i answered my own Qs....


and this one's a lil battle i drew... gawd im lame...


rwar.. hu the hell goes to sch on a saturday?! im never doing this shit again....~

ACT CUTE!!!!~






someone stab meee~

friday afternoon~

i luv my fridays~
im sure im not the only one hu thinks this way... its always been so universal.. this feeling of always "hating" Mondays n welcoming Fridays~ BUt, we only welcome it cause it signifies the end of the weekdays, n the beginning of the weekends... so, really.... we luv Saturdays~

but i hate my Saturdays & Sundays... these days are traditionally spent with friends n Family.... but since i hang out with my friends on weekdays & my family n i never go out together, these days become redundant to me~

Nontheless, fridays have always appealled to me~
The very simplicity of it is so alluring... my fridays have always been a day of rest & relaxation... of peace & reflection~

the mornings are cold & enjoyable.... the afternoons, warm and cosy.... i do enjoy my peace n solitude very much... some find it odd but they just dont know how to stop n smell the roses...~

School on friday ends at around 11 am.... but i'd often hang around for lunch with the turds till noon.... but today i ended at 9.30~ Uopn reaching home, i'd watch a bit of tv or use the computer, after which i'd just stone for a while.... walk around my house a couple of times, or just sitting in the living room...~

its quiet... no one's at home... u observing ur surroundings... n then u start to see things... things tat've always been there, but just never noticed... like spider-web in the ceiling or a newly formed crack in the wall...~
its dumb.. i knnow.. but its quite a meditative experience... it humbles u in some way... ooh~ i do enjoy my "me" time~

4.30pm
went to the kitchen, made myself a grilled cheese sandwich.... with 2 slices of ham.. yes... it was a friday... 2 slices where in order~ took the nescafe out, but decided later on tea instead....no milk.... didnt need the caffine~

placed my sandwich n tea on a tray and carried it to the front door. Wanted to cut the crusts off, but figure it could use the extra crispy-ness~ grabbed a couple of pillows from the living room sofa n laid them beside the door.... the weather was warm n dry... typical afternoon heat....

found a comfortable position, placed my book on my lap... tea in one hand... grilled cheese in the other.... i could feel the warmth of the outside tingle my right body~ the tea helped spread the heat evenly... and i just sat there... reading my book... occasionally pausing for a bite of my sandwich~

there's something just so calming about a friday.... its just a simple day... a day not really a weekday, not yet a weekend~ its quiet... its calming... its friday...

i luv my fridays~
don't you?

007~

today felt kinda short since i onli had one lesson today... hmm... had lunch with the turds at kfc, then hung out at the library till 4... tutorial onli lasted like 35min... which was cool n all.. but i was kinda hoping for it to last the whole hr since i onli came to sch for tat friggin' lesson -_-

bleh~
went to see the new bond movie, pretty cool i guess.. never was a big fan of 007 flims though... but it was nice..

met a new kitty cat friend under the void deck at bedok.... i decided to name her toby maguire, cause "with great power comes great responsiblilty~" .... she ran away a couple of mins later... i think it was cause i had finished eatin my red bean ice-cream...~



hmmm... something feels weird.. cant quite put my finger on it though....



watever~

chunky monkey~

my morning today was pretty retarded~ because a couple of days ago i lost my keys at jared's house... my home is now short one stash of keys.... so like.. my mom has her own, n my sis n my dad... then there's the key tats always at home...~

so, cause i lost mine, i was now using tat "home" set of keys right... well my eviL~ mom took them by mistake today so when i was about to leave, i couldnt find the keys to open the door with... -_-~

Called my mom n told her i was trapped... so then had to ask my poor grandmother to hu luckily lived like 5 blks away from me to come over n unlock the door for me~ i thought i'd be late for the lecture but suprisingly i was on time...

i swear.. god hates me i tell u.... i was probably a child molester in my pass life or something...~ School ended at noon, didnt go swimmin with the turds cause i was still a lil unwell... n it had to be the day tat i DIDN'T went that god decided to make it sunny n warm -_-

read my book in the lib till jared had his break.... then went to eat n slacked at the apple lab.. then met jf, qt, yL n jo at the concourse of IT... jared went for lessons... so i hung out with them till eddy came out so he could wait with me for liz to come out... yeeeahh~

anyway liz was let of early... so went to meet her... then saw eddy hu was with andrew.. then ran into aloy n ivan n sloppy ... -_- yeeeaahhh~

i think im feelin better now.. still coughin like crazy.. n my voice is still soft... but i should be able to gorge on western food n ice-cream by tomoro~

tomoro's lesson starts at 4.... but maybe i'll go early to meet the turds~
hmm.... i want my chunky monkey..... :)~

im gonna diieee~

i think im dying ~

i cant feel my pulse... then again... i could never locate it in the 1st place. feelin really cold.. n im soooo tired... -_-

sch was retarded... went to sch at 10 but the turds decided not to go for lec so.. tat was a dumb waste of my time... went for a fix with liz even though im sick... but it was nice~ pass minty her freakin air purifier after so god damn long...
lugged the freakin thing around all morning... soooo uncooL~

break was from noon to two... but then the 2o'clock tutorial was cancelled... so.. it became 3hrs break... then at 3, i realised i had a lab test.. n i was in the 2nd shift.. plus i didnt bring any of my lab shit.. soooooo, my 3 hr break became 4hrs...-_-

son of a bitch~

Amazing how so much baad shit can happen on such a beautiful day~
its sooo cold right now.. i luv it... ~

Snow god dammit! Freakin ssSnoWW!!!!!




oh n liz~ im never teachin u guitar~
woooo im so mean ~

sugar, spice & everything nice~

i woke up feelin really really messed up this morning...
my throat was sore.. my eyes where bloachy... head hurt... stomach grogy~

i felt more sick than the day before, n as i was like taking a bath, i thought back on wat could have caused this...
i didnt like.... play in the rain or anything, i went home after sch.... ate soup noodle for practically every meal... took my meds n shit~

then i remembered something... my sis opened a bag of chips next to me last night... n i ate one... -_-

1 chip....

is tat all it takes? just 1 chip to revive a subsiding sickness?!
DAMN U LAY'S POTATO CHIPS!~

and another thing! when turned on the tv, i saw that kids central was playing a whole new series of the "Powerpuff GirLs~" since god knows when.. n i didnt know about it! RwaR! ALL THOSE MISSED EPISODES!
DAMN U KID's CENTRAL N UR IGNORANCE TO INFORM UR VIEWERS OF NEWLY BROADCASTED CARTOONS!~

PP girLs are cooL so shut up... i like watchin them n it doesnt make me any lesss of a man... so there~
anyone hu thinks otherwise should just die now..

every new day never ceases to make me feel any less emo~
n here's another random thing im pissed off about... y wont this freakin country SNOW!
DAMN U GOD FOR MAKING EVERY COUNTRY AROUND THE EQUATOR NOT HAVE A WHITE CHRISTMAS!

i end of my post with yet another funny word...

Mugally Gugally~





bloody basterds...

friday mornings~

i love my friday mornings~
its the only day of the week i start sch at 8am... so i gotta wake up at around 6~
the sun isnt up, the air is cool n calm~

its quiet.... peacefuL~
Everyone else is still sleepin n u can just take ur time...
u take a relaxing shower in the dark, the water is exceptionally cool at this time.... it's icy touch caressing ur body~

u feel like drifting back to sleep again as u stand under the flow of water, eyes closed~ once ur done, u quickly scurry to ur room before the wind can reach u.. its touch combined with the water droplets on ur skin sends shivers that tantalize ur body~

u get dressed n u go to the kitchen..... no one's up yet... u make a cup of coffee.. extra suger, extra milk~ ( u only live once~ ) u sit down on the living room sofa n slip it ... bit by bit, no hurry at all... there's still time to spare~

the house is in complete darkness... u sit there... alone... u dont turn the tv or radio on.. u just sit... with nothin but the coffe in ur hand and the silky morning wind breathing on u... ~

u finish ur drink, n u wait a while for the caffine to kick in.... ur mom wakes up... u smile at her n she smiles at u... u tell her u'll be living soon.. and she nods .. still dazed n tired...

u open the front door, the smell of freshly cut grass and of divine moisture of leaves rush in~ u stare out n let the cooling warmth of the clouds n newborn sun adjust ur eyes from the darkness...

you put ur earphones on & choose that one song that u've been ringing in ur head from the night b4...~ u move a little as it gets to the chorus... u bend down to tie ur shoe laces and... ur done~

as u walk out of the house, moving to the beat of the music from ur ipod... u tell the world to come wat may~ cause for that moment.. u have no fear~

U see a friend at the bus stop... she looks at u with weary eyes n smiles...

"dont u just hate the early mornings?" she asks...

then u look at her.. and u nod~
and u smile to urself... cause u know.... its just 7days away~ :)

dead man walkin~

i dont remember the last time i was sick... i think it was like .. in secondary sch... this is the 1st time i've fallen ill during poly life... so, kudos to that~

went to see a doctor at the poly clinic... cause i havent went to see a doctor in like.. 2 years, it was a pretty cool experience... boring.... but cool nontheless~

saw alot of old ppl on wheel chairs n kids running around taking those health pamplets from the shelves n folding them into airplanes, tossin them all over them place.... i was pretty much just stoning the whole time while waitin for my No. to be called... waited like 1hr 15min just for a 3 min consultation.... then, had to wait another 30 min for the medication....

but i guess it was all gd once i had my mc~
here it is...

just look at tat... aint it beautiful~


well.. im feelin better if anyone gives a damn~
Im just really bored right now at home.... watchin "Wynx Club" n "Yugi-oh Duel MOnsters" cause there's nothin cool to watch in the mornings....

ok then... tats about enough crap i can take... i think i'll go lure some ants out to amuse myself...~

thoughts & revelations~

i was laying on my bed alone at home starin at the oh so many pictures on my wall n thinkin about stuff while waitin for my mom to bring some food back~

it amused me the amount of nonsense i was thinkin of n laughin to myself about them~ so i decided to write them down... cause im really lame n all~

yeah... ok.. then... let the bullshit begin~

1. If i could be anyone in the world, i'd be a rich, gd lookin basterd~

2. if i had only one day left to live, i'd kill myself yesterday....

3. if i ever become an eviL Overlord bent on world domination, and when i finally manage to capture the leader of the rebel forces... i wouldn't plan an elaborate method of killing him just to show others my evil genious-ness n simply take a gun from one of my evil henchmen n shoot him...~

4. if i ever become an evil overlord bent on ... blah blah... etc, n i was like.. livin in a fortress of doom, i would not install ventilation systems where by some rebel hero can just simply climb all the way into my chambers n attack me~

5. i would not like green eggs and ham... cause they've probably gone bad or something... tats where the green colour comes from .... duh..~

6. why the hell did they did they give a cat a "Dr." status?

7. oh yeah maybe cause he can talk n all....~

8. if all the ugly fat dudes get all the pretty girls... then i must be realllly gd lookin~

9. how do they get pianos into houses? the door clearly cant fit an entire piano thru.. how do u even get it up the stairs if the elevator is too small...? do they bring it up part by part or something?

10. y is it tat on tv, they show pianos fallin on ppl... ? Do movers really do tat? hang pianos out of windows by a series of ropes n pullies?

tats when my mom gets back with my foood~
i had more thoughts but they seem too lame... so i wont post them.~
gawd~ am i the onli person in the world tats this weird... -_-~

i shall end off by sayin a silly word...

fuddy duddy~






help me....

crazy ass dreams~

recently the dreams that i've been havin are more n more elaborate n bizzare~
Dreams have a tendency to do tat... yes... but, these dream i have are laced with complex idealogies... if tat makes sense~

i usually cant remember my dream when i wake up... as would any other of the other dreams, but i always would have tat "what the hell was tat all about?" mind-set when i wake up from one of these crazy ass dreams...

Usually one would dream of.. maybe, the happenings tat took place during the day or perhaps of an event that has yet to take place, an examination or a trip overseas.. that kinda thing~

thats like, a "normal" dream.. even though it makes no sense, u still have a rough picture of wats goin on, wats it all about.... but for "crazy ass dreams" its a totally different story....

u see.... "crazy ass dreams", or CADs, are like dreams tat have no meaning in the events tat unfold in your life, neither is it those kinda dreams tat like, for example, if ur a clerk, u dream of becoming a boss, if ur some scrony kid, u dream of becomin bigger n bash up all the other kids....etc~

no... CADs are MORE illusive & perplexing~ they usually tell a story.. but one tat makes no sense... the characters can be anyone, but usually consist of ppl u dont know, or ppl u arent to familiar with in real life or even ur enemies... then u wonder, y did u even dream of these ppl in the 1st place...

for eg. i briefly recall a certain image in my dream where JLO calls me on my cell from a cab, then tells me she's kidnapped or something.. another was tat we where rowing a boat or something somewhere n we met this old dude n he shot at us... then i cant remember wat happened...

CADs are always thriller dreams... like stories tat involve u n it always has alot of runnin somewhere or chasing something ....

n i must say, i love these dreams... they are an easy escape from reality n are quite fun actually~

the thing tat seprates CADs from any other ordinary one is tat its, sooo damn real.
i often wake up wonderin if tat really happened.. even if i know it didnt, but still i would pause to, sort of make sure...

dream to sleep, or sleep to dream?

Definatly the 2nd one~ :)

fighting makes the pain go away~

went swimmin with the turds again at bedok~
they tried to kill me...
aloy broke my nose n sloppy tried to rape me... but im ok... lots of scratch marks n bruises... but i'll live~

took a vid of the turds tryin to gang bang each other... but it looks lame so i wont put it~
sch's a bitch... my timetable is shitty n there are no hot girls, or any girls for tat matter, in my classes~ have yet to get a sighting of the girL~ but i dont care.. she's eviL~ n i hate her... so there~

my sis is thinkin of gettin a small tattoo in the area below the wrist on her bday~ i wonder how she's gonna tell my mom... i think when i save up enough money i'll go get extend mine over the shoulder or something~

im feelin particularly intimidating these past few days~ been scaryin away all the year 1 pricks in my class with my purple hair n eviL~ Yuna eyes.... so fun~ when ever i walk out of the class, they'll all siam n make way for me... like im some columbian drug lord... or maybe im just flatterin myself~

bleh~

i need more female friends... i think im turnin gay~

eviL toys~

had nothin better to do today so went to toys'r'us~
saw a creepy lookin toy.. it scared me so i took a picture of it...



its a bobble-head doggy soft toy thingy~
it looked sadistic so i bought it n went to burn it....

i'll be sending them a letter of complain ordering them to cease the sale of satanic toys to lil children even though it would be cool to have them all possesed....
but im a nice guy~

help save the children...
burn all bobble-head doggys now~



*peace

writings of a solitarian~

There is no pleasure in the world like writing~
Its a process of discovery n exploration.... i write to pass the time, to find out wat im thinkin, to organize my thoughts. i write wat i see, wat i feel, wat i experience. i write to understand, to amuse, to vent. I write to silence the voices in my head. But most of all... i write to remember... to never forget~

i write down my theories, my thoughts, my feelings. The "what if's" & the "what could have been's". I write of the future n of the past n present. i'd write of my dreams n aspirations, of loves n loves lost~

Whenever I've endured or accomplished a difficult task, after a tramatic experience or had a close brush with death~ or having witnessed the most beautiful of things...~ i'd always write... i'd always remember.. & i'd never forget~

i would wish for it to snow~
i'd sit by my window sill and watch the snow flakes fall from the misty sky~ and i'd start to write about the children runnin around & playin in the snow, buildin frozen scuptures n ice-skating... the air would be cool and calm... everything would be peaceful. And i'd watch.. n just imagine~

i'd wish i was lying down on the deck of a boat~
how cool & fresh the ocean breeze would feel.... i'd write about the dolphins tat gather round as i tossed bait overboard or of the sea gulls tat take a rest on the sails~ i would write about the sun rise n sun set of every morning n night describing it with the upmost of detail...

i would write... and just write~
then i'd read it again.. n i'd remember.... every sight, every feeling.....
and i will remember...
and i will never forget~

smoke gets in ur eyes~

went swimmin with the 2 turds~ we worked out at the gym 1st.... suprizingly sloppy has pretty gd stamina... later went swimmin n played the "try-to-drown-aaron~" game again... also they invented another game called "lets-make-aaron-fatherless". im not gonna elaborate on tat~

We ordered mac n sloppy did somethin gross with the coke~ took a video...


after swimmmin, i went home to check out my new bruises n cuts.... mom ask me to follow her go some religious dinner of some sort with my aunt~ being the oh so obedient son i am, i agreed~ my eyes were hurtin from the night before due to the damn haze.. n now even more from the chlorine of the swimmin pooL~ now i had to endure the smoke from those incents.....

got there at about 6... it was some big tent with lots of god statues n paper figures of those chinese gods i see all the time on those channel 8 shows~
followed my parents around the place n prayin to like.. all the gods there... stickin incents into each one of their ... er... ash pot thingy~

i just like, shaked the stick a few times, just for the sake of showing tat im praying, then quickly planted the stick into the pot...~ i was listenin to Marlyin Manson on my ipod as we went to like 7 diff spots to pray.. kinda ironic~

Smoke was really burnin my eyes~ the tent trapted all the smoke inside... i was the onli one my age there... typical~ the rest where adults n old ppl... yeah there was aloooot of old ppl~ saw some kids there too.. but they probably didnt know wat they were gettin themselves into anyway~

old ppl are creepy.. they kept touchin me n rubbin my head...~ tellin my mom how i've grown n shit~ i dont even know these ppl -_-
i saw this creepy old guy.. he like walked up to this lil kid hu was just like sittin there..he kept talkin to him n this creepy manner old ppl do... creeped me out just watching him~

oh.. there was so this chinese opera thingy... noisy as hell~ but kinda cooL to watch... even though i didnt know wat the hell they where doing or sayin... but.. this was like wat old ppl did when colour tv wasn't invented~

anyway... the rest of it was pretty boring n i had to sit my way thru it~
religion is a strange thing...
accordin to my mom... the whole event was to celebrate a god's birthday.... do gods even have bdays? i thought they were like.. born b4 time or something~

bleh... iduncare~

damn haze~

my guitar killed me~

holidays are becommin more n more retarded...
i stay at home all day n do nothin but watch tv n play my guitar~..
Occasionally i do a lil drawin n read a bit.. but tats about it..

i've been playin my guitar so much, my fingertips have all been blistered up.. so now it hurts to play.... no one's free.. they've all gotten jobs n shit..
i swear.. the next semester holiday im getttin a job n going out everyday...~

i've been google-ing alot of nonsensical stuff to occupy my time...~ read up about serial killers and the history of some guy called albert fish.. hu's apparently some american serial killer hu tortured n ate lil children... neat~

dont know y im even tellin u ppl this...
hmmm ... i want a lava lamp~



anyone know how to play the second part of John Mayer's Why Georgia?~





anyone?~

i'm so annoying~

this is a video of me annoyin my eviL mother~ with her new phone she took from me...

don't any of u turds laugh at me... i dont typically act like a moron, i was just being especially annoying on tat day...
so there~






happy mother's day~
lalala~

stuff in my room~

LO and BEHOLD! the great mystical treasures found no where else.. but in this pig sty i call a room~


Stuff #1:
an orange stuffed mouse i use to support the base of my guitar~


Stuff #2:
a broken skipping rope i cut to swing around with...


Stuff #3:
a sticker of what looks to be either stick-men with red heads, or berry flavoured lolipops~


Stuff #4:
a ladder......


Stuff #5:
a one-eyed stuff aligator


Stuff #6:
a broken toy gun & a nunchaku...



tune in next time to see wat other crap i uncover in my crib!











oh gawd i need a life~

my mother~ (part II )

my mother is EVIL~
i love her very much but she is EVIL~ i tell u....

couple of days ago my bandmate asked me to go Malaysia for a day.. i told him.. "yeah sure... 1 day onli, no big deal..."

so 2 days before the trip i asked my mom for my passport... thus leading her to inquire why i needed it... so i told her.. n she imediately forbade me from going...

wad the fuck~ -_-

she gave me no reason as to why not, n proceeds to tell me crap excuses like.. malaysia is dangerous n i might die there -_-
Oh my gawd~

My mom is a great Parent... she looks after the kids, feeds us, brings home the bacon, cleans up around the house n all that stuff parents are suppose to do to ensure a healthy n safe lifestyle for their kids...

But she is a horrible mother.... she never tells me any important information like our financial status or even her past for that matter... she never talks to me about stuff, n she's never let me do anything... remotely dangerous in my entire life...

i wasnt allow to use the stove till i was like 12, i've never ridden a roller-coaster ever.... not even those 360 degree viking ship thingys... i've never been able to go out after sch till i was in sec 1... before tat it was straight home everyday... n she would fetch me back too... even though our house was like just across the street... oh~ so tats why i didnt have any friends -_-

WAT MOTHER WOULD DO TAT TO A KID ! JEUS CHRIST!

but ironically, despite having never experienced these life threathening things.... i have not grown into a hermit of some kind, but infact... the opposite... i have always wanted to sky dive or bungee jump... i have no fear, but i have no permission either....

sometimes i just wanna just flash my tattoo at her n say " LOOK ! LOOK AT THAT! WAT U GONNA DO ABOUT IT NOW! "

buuut that would just give her a stroke so i'd reframe from doing that now....

so every morning, whenever i see her i just point at her n shout "EVIL!", then she'd call me sickening n i'd just run away waving my arms about... bleh~


ah... but i still love her~
my mother ladies n gentlemen....my mother~

some snow would be nice~

Damn Heat~

nerdy no more~

i've been rumaging thru my drawer where i stash all my old journals n photos from my old sch days n i must say.. i do look really different..
From being a cute shy kid aunties loved to adore in primary sch.. to a soft pale-skin nerd everyone loved to pick on.. to now.. a good-lookin, tall, well-build, charming, did i mention gd lookin guy~

oh how i've hated my childhood...just look at the geeky face of mine... even girls would beat me up... jeuz christ~



now u know y i turned out so messed up.....
havin girls pick on u is not cooL~

ah but at least now i've been told im 'scary lookin' by many ppl so at least i dont get picked on so much... plus.. once ppl know u got a tattoo or pierced ur lips its a pretty useful intimidation tooL~

but im sure those hu know me know im nothin like wat i look like... dont fuckin discriminate ppl on their looks.. i hate tat.. ~

Oh yes.. another thing cooL happened today... my sister was casually blow-drying her hair when the hair- dryer exploded~ there was sparks n everything... burnted a hole in her hand muahhahaa~ gawd im a bad brother...

i guess this was payback for that time when she forgot to turn of the iron n i accidentally brushed up against it...
ITS KARMA I TELL YA! n it sure took its time seeing as how it happened like 7 yrs ago.. but at least justice is served..~

gd thing about my burn was tat i got to show it off to all my friends.. n she got to take an off day from work.... ~


look at that... its crazy y im still single i tell ya~



hmm.. cant help it i guess..
women are crazy...throw rocks at them~

i hate the exorcism~

today was another retarded day ~
the 3 turds came over to my place to watch this fuck of a show minty lent me~
i hate scary movies n the 3 turds insisted on turnin the vol. so high, even a freakin phone ring spooked us all..

the startin was kinda lame n boring... just some old fart wanderin around some desert dunno find wad.. then the lil girl,regan, n her mom played with an ouiji board n asked some Qs by some ghost called Captain Howey..

then she got all possesed n shiet.. her skin turned all green n she started rollin down stairs, pukeing blood n green slime n peeing on the floor~ not to mention the whole turning-of-the-head 360 degrees...

fucking disturbing show... could really screw up ur kid brother's mind with a show like tat... pity im already the youngest in the family~ bleh...

in the end so many ppl died but she survived... convieniently having amnesia n getting on with her life like nothin ever happened.. bloody hell... -_-

For those hu havent seen the movie... dont~ its creepy n gross.. for those hu have the vcd i suggest u break it now n let ur baby brother play with the broken pieces...

I hate scary movies... they scare me n im never watchin them ever again... ~
If any of u think im a chicken shiet cause i dont find spookin myself entertaining.. then DIE NOW! Slit ur wrist n run into traffic ~

hopefully tomoro will be a more productive day instead of constantly playing Prince of Persia on my xbox n mapling all day..
SOMEONE ASK ME OUT !!!!!


lalalala
coldplay rocks~

god hates me~

rwaR!
fukin holidays so boring.. wake up every morning at 5am, shower.. then make my mom breakfast before playing "Gay-ple(Maple)Story" for 4 hrs ... yes yes.. i play maple.. its a horrible game of mindlessly hackin tiny mushrooms n snail for hrs on end before lvling even once... but i must admit.. its a guilty pleasure of mine~

Here's how my character looks like.. sloppy says i look like algae cause im like this lil' green shit tat shoot arrows.. bah.. i think i look cooL~


after my 4hrs of torturous spamming of my arrow, n listening to 98.7FM's "Muttons In The MOrning~" its usually off to swimmming at shawny's crappy condo with vic n sloppy~ the Stupid guards there really retarded.. i can just walk right in n they dont even suspect a thing.. shit i could be a terrorist for all they know.. Bleh~

We'd swimm awhile then start playin the "try to drown aaron" game, this involves a 3 vs 1 wrestling match where by all three dicks try to .. yes... drown me...

By 4-ish, im usually tanned n baddly bruised n cut in various places.. but it was fun.. sometimes we get to oogle at bikini babes sun bathing .. or i can scare the lil kids away with my tattoo.. Woot!

i even broke vic's thumb yesterday... he tried to grab me underwater so i kicked him n now he's hand is all bandaged up.. haha .. the pussy..
too bad he wont send me the picture of it... bleh...~ -_-

oh yes.. we made a couple of retared videos during swimming...

here's one made during the exams.. i was studyin n a freakin lizard took a shiet on my book...


this one is a twinky eattin contest btw sloppy n vic~ shawn's video phone is pretty shitty so all u can see is darkness n our retarded conversations...


the next 2 are of us playin with this stray cat tat stays in the condo~




ah.. i also like to mention that i love those lovey dovey chick-flick korean dramas ... they keep my mom n sis occupied on the weekends so they dont bother me as much... kudos to tat...~

bleh... i think tats all i've got to write about... 3 more weeks of holidays.. wat the hell am i gonna do now...~

















fuck~

ode to the girL ~ (part III)

i've yet to see her... the girL~
Ever more unclear does the invisible affair persist...
she's fading out with each passing day~

strange the timing for such feelings to arise..
but they were never gone in the 1st place~

the sweetness of her, like tat of puppy dogs n butterflys~
her mesmerising eyes and euphonious voice lingers in my mind..
the blush upon her cheek, the tenderness of her smile~

i want to forget her.. this vagrant pursuit must cease....
its incredible how someone can mean so much to someone else n not realise it~
she makes my world stop...
every glance into her eyes, every touch of her hand~

she makes my world stop~

My ode to the girL~ this is the last...
its best i leave this be~
no greater tragic tale told of love lost, then tat of love never found~

i wonder if she'd ever know....
i wonder of wat could have been~

Unending in my heart: the girL~

gibberish~

A long time ago, the warmest tree flew, inside it laid corpses of mouse traps and beer.... As time went by the shoe rings evolved... causing pillows and calculators to roam the seas of koi and hermit~

These tales have long came to pass. For every few decades, the crystal balls dance. Causing the Moon and its orange to grow penguins made of strawberries and glue~ Although the seamless night can be evaded by the falling windows, one cannot neglect the sight of a purple bear when he sees one....~

THey bring paper and stones as an offering, and place them before the fields of daffodils and fog~ Above the mountain of clocks, n beyond the rising smoke of music notes, is where it will fine its turtle shell~

With it, the ability to rewrite the names of chocolate Bars and tattooed skin~
The Dragon feels uneasy with the gloves on his wings... but he sleeps.. nonetheless~ Undisturbed by the screams of the headless butterflys~

It sleeps everlasting in the sea of eyes... never to be disturbed... never to be awake... for it is sheeps, that do the real hunting....~



(No idea wat the heLL i just wrote..? WeLL, neither do i...~)
God im bored~ -_-

Fre3ze ouT~

my mom's gonna kill me~

this was'nt just some random spontaneous crazy thing i just woke up one day n said i wanna get a tattoo, i've always dreams of gettin one since i was in sec2...

it wasn't tat i was afraid of the pain, i was more afraid of the consequnces of getting one, n how gettin inked would effect me gettin a job, the discrimination ppl will show towards me...& the sufferin i would most likly have to endure in NS because of it...

i've contemplated getting one for so many years... n i was willing 2 except all those factors... all but one, which was not getting my mother's blessing...~
i hate to make her anger and disappointed.. its not a very nice feelin for a son to feel when he does something to anger his mother to the point where she starts to cry... ~

My mother is very innocent and narrow-minded in a way... she thinks anyone with a tattoo is either an ex-con or some junkie drug addict/ gangster... the very mention of me gettin one would put her in such a negative mood, then she starts to lecture me about how no one would hire me, or how ppl would pick fights with me cause of it... which, to me sounded so unlikely... still does....~

Even so, my fascination with body art far outshined her parental control over me... i wasn't a disobedinent boy, i've spent my whole life listing to my mother.. till even my friends got pissed cause if she said "no", it would mean no... i didnt even bother to put up a fight..~

i hate to disobey my mother.... which is why wat i did made me feel so guilty~ i did alot of research about tattoos and made alot of desicion-making like, where to have the tatt done so tat i can hide it... reputable tattoo parlors in sg... tattoo aftercare n stuff like tat...~

BUt i have no regrets... i am very proud of my tattoo... it was exceptionally crafted in me by a tattoo artist named Oliver from EZ Tattoos down at Far East... (if any one wants to get inked i recommend going there~) it didnt really hurt tat bad... dont really know wat the big contraversy about the pain is.. its like a 6/10 on the pain scale... if u can endure the stabbing of countless burning needles dragging across ur skin over the same spot for over an hr, u'd be alright...~

maybe when im older n have a family. i'd tattoo my wife n kid's names on my arms... for now, i think i'll be just happy with this one...

i dont think i can ever let my mom find out... she'd definatly send me to get it lasered... DEFINATELY~ My mother is VERY capable of doing something like that..
i just hope one day she realises tat a tattoo isn't ment for "AH-bengs" or used as an intimidation tool... but a form of artistic expression.. something u do to show how much u love urself~

Maybe one day she'd realise the intense investigation and groundwork i did to perfectly position the size n area of the tatt in order to get a white collar job...
as well as the picture....which isnt some word like " i love Satan " on my back... tat would just freak her out.... i even contemplated on tattooing her name just to make her not be so mad if she ever found out... but i quickly scratched tat idea...~

anyway.. to all the ppl out there hu have the same idealogy as my mother, please change ur outlook on ppl with tattoos... i know many ppl hu hold degrees hu have piercings n tattoos in places u cant even imagine... ~

i hate discrimination in every form, be it racisim, sexism ... or any form of classification tat deminors one person from another... a rich successfull business man has the same rights as a tattoo covered ex-con.... if onli ppl in this country could be more open-minded...

Friends.. n friend's of friends... n anyone hu reads this... please tell this to ur kids one day... i'd rather have my son talk to me about gettin a tattoo then to do it behind my back just because im too narrow-minded to listen to him....~

NOw for some pictures... here;s one of my back before gettin tatt, my friend shawn took it as a final commemoratory, seeing as how i'd never be "bare-backed" again...


here is the stencil of it... already looks pretty neat ~




n this was taken during the finishing of the tattoo.. blood n all still shown.. compliments of victor~



sure it may look kinda torturous, but the anticipation of it is far worst then the actual process...

Vic,shawny n eddy took videos of me n put them on Utube~ here are the links...
as u can see.. not a tear shead....~






Tattoos are becoming a fast trend... soon... in our kid's generation.. tattoos would be so common... 5 yr olds would be gettin them...

One final msg, kids stay in sch, stay off drugs... n talk to ur parents...
Parents.... FUCKING listen to ur kids...~

Fre3ze OUT~

body art~

There are 2 kinds of people in this world... those who have tattoos, and those who are afraid of people with tattoos~ A tattoo attracts and also repels simply because it is different...

it's often associated with gang members and street thugs or Satanic cults when it is just a form of expressing one's self thru arT~ Many people cant understand why one would expose themselves to the "torture" of tattooing, so they simple consider them as symbols of disgrace~

Is a tattoo painful... sure it is.. but the beauty of it and the pride associated with wearing it far outweighs a little pin-stick here and there. BEsides...it cant possibly hurt TAT bad... other wise ppl wont keep going back to get new ones~

The tattoos come in the form of butterflies, flowers and hearts. In Iraq, tattoos are told to make women more beautiful. Its simply how the society sees it... A form of arT~, or a walking Freak SHow....

Though the tattoo may only be skin deep, its significance can run as deep as the soul.. it is a true poetic creation, and is always more than meets the eye...

A tattoo's a piece of art you will wear for life, an identity that is indefinatly you~ its about personalizing the body, making it a true home for the spirit that dwells within....

A Tattoo is cooL and exotic, its the ultimate way to show how much u love yrself, or someone else...

and im gonna get one~ :)

insomia~

its 3.35 am ...
and i cant sleep~

Apparently, i haven't been able to fall asleep much less, remain alseep for the pass few weeks... this has happened b4 a couple of times in the past, but this time its different.. i feel ... awake at night.. literally... in the past i felt tired..it was just tat i couldn't get to sleep.. but if i managed to, i would usually sleep right thru the night..

But these few weeks...
i feel awake when i try to sleep... n awake when i wake up again at odd hrs of the morning~

At 1st, i thought it would pass... tat its just a phase of being restless... and that in time... things would eventually go back to normal.. but upon thinkin back now, i realised that this has been going on for quite sometime now.. weeks on end... of sleepless nights and narcoleptic afternoons... day after agonizing day.. i didnt realise how long it was going on till now...

its been going on for so long now... and it's really bothering me.. maybe i should go see a doctor soon, hopefully he could drug me up real gd n things would go back to normal.. ~

i've tired all sorts of methods to try n sleep... from drinkin a warm class of milk at night.. to ... sniffin an onion and even counting sheep, which btw is a load of crap... attempting to count an infinity of rampaging sheep that leap over a fence does NOT put u to sleep.. but would in fact make u even more awake then b4~

i've even tired drinkin myself to sleep... usually i can feel tired enough after a while by drinkin just one can of Beer~ but the effects dont last very long... n it even gives u tat grogy feeling in ur stomach when u wake up.. which ... since u didnt even get enough sleep frm the night b4, is really Uncool~

I've considered other factors which contribute to me unable to catch some Zzz~
My room for one thing, isn't that well ventilated. My mother, hu btw is the most Paranoid person in the World, thinks that if i so much as leave my top window luver open, some Criminal Master Mind would manage to contort his body thru my 15cm by 50cm window and steal my oh so vaulable Dinosaur Figurines, which can onli be sold to a crazy person willing enough to want my shit in exchange for a half bitten tic-tac~

Sure maybe some punk kid hu's got nothing to do at 3 in the morning would wanna throw a lit match in thru the window.... n my room is HIGHLY FLAMABLE. I have got posters lineing every inch of my rm n clothes which litter the floor like a carpet so yes it is a fire harzard n i would probably be the 1st one to die.. but wat chance would it be tat any of this would happen... in this country for that matter..

I also have a Immature and self-centered elder sister hu decides to watch 'Boston LEgal' on the VCR at 4 in the morning with the VoL. turned up.... i cant complain to my father since i dont really regard him as a member of this household, and i dont want to wake my mother and mess up her peaceful sleep... so.. i decide to just get up... n now i cant go back to sleep...~

so here i am, talking of counting sheep & how flameable my room is... at 3.54 am on a sch night... i think i'll go to the doctor's tomoro n get some sleepin pills...
i dont even know if they prescribe it~

i need some sleep.... i really do... so next time if u see me in sch in the morning n i have this "dont fuck with me today, i didnt get enough sleep last night" look.. dont take it personally.. i just didn't get enough sleep last night... n would appreciate it if u'd all FUCK oFF till noon~

cheers~

thank you for smoking~

i have decided to quit smoking once n for all...
it was to be my birthday gift to myself~

2 days before my day of days i bought my last pack of Marlboro Reds and smoked every stick with the up most indulgence... savouring every breath...

i played with the smoke as it drifted out of my mouth... moving my lips to alter the flow... it made patterns in the air.. rings of smoke floated playfully in the wind-less enclosure of my room...

i liked smoking... it wasn't just a habit..it was a place to go.... Where I could just shut out the rest of the world and find a little bit of time, and peace for myself.... Just a little bit~

Till now, i dont even know why im quiting.... sure smoking kills u.. but idunwannaliveforever~ i had no reason at all, that appealed to me, to quit~ when i reached my last stick, i couldn't bring myself to finish the last one.... i didnt want it to end... had no reason to...~

In fact, it would actually help me more if i continued~
But this morning ... i lit the last one up anyway... i figured, things can happen for no reason... i had no reason to quit, i had no one to quit for, i did not fear the consequences of not quiting... but i did it anyway, for no reason~

Its been 2 days since i've stopped.. my head hurts every now & then, and i feel real grouchy everytime i wake up... all of which i think i'll be able to overcome sooner or later~

i sit at the non-smokin area everytime i go to starbucks now... is a pretty cool change i guess... but i dont know how long this will last... i keep adding reasons to make me start smoking again... but i've got none to make me stop...

oh well...
i'll think of one sooner or later~

today's a good day~

the sun is burning down like a bitch .. there are no birds singing.. there are no flowers blooming..

I have tons of stuff to do and so little time... i've got to study for sch and complete my assignments.. my room is a mess.. there isnt anything good on TV...

My friends have all got plans... my family are all not home...

But...
today's a good day~

Upon waking up this morning, i could sense it already... everything looked the same but everything was so different...
the air felt fresher... the sky looked blue-er... but this day was the same as every other day... except today.. i was lookin at it from a different prespective...

Today i wake up feeling glad and happy...for no reason wat so ever i felt opimistic..~
All my worries.. and all my doubts have been answers on this day... i feel as if my eyes have been opened... as if i was enlightened... it was like a storm had been lifted and i could see the sun shine again...

Just for today... i've decided to be nice... to be kinder... to be generous..
just for today, i want to be opitmistic and not be let down...
Just for today.. i will not frown.. i will not be sad.. i will not complain..
Everything today is perfect in its own imperfection... everything i eat will taste gr8 ... everyone i meet will be friendly... everything i do, will be done with passion~

These words may all sound really Gay~ but i dont care...
for today is a good day~
and it is comforting knowing it's going to last....~

incubus~

the time now is about 4:15 am in the morning...

i had just had the most insane nightmare.... i've had insane nightmares before.. but, it's been a while since i had one this intense....

i mean.. seriously.. i'm shaking right now... it has to be a significant nightmare to make me wake up at 4 in the morning on a sch night just to write this shit...

im trying to think happy thoughts.. but i realised i dont have any... & since im tryin to quit smokin... cant do tat either... im not religous so cant pray... tried meditating, but tats just lame... So, i've decided to write a little... calms me down... n allows me to get some few things off my chest...~

Let me start frm the beginning... b4 i slept today.. i spent a gd clean hr tossin n turnin.. some times just sittin up n starin my 4 walls cause i couldn't sleep.. there was alot going on in my mind, stuff i would not like to share with u all... but the stuff was real actual event happenin in my Life currently and it was.. i guess ... messing my sleep up...

Anyway, i've been researchin on nightmares a couple of min ago n it says that ( i quote..) "Evil thoughts are actually material things manifested by us. In other words by believing in raw evil you can actually create it. " -Edgar Cayce

also.. tat ( i quote again..) "Nightmares can also signify deeply rooted psychological problems. Individuals suffering from these forms of post traumatic stress disorder is common for them to be haunted by nightmares as they relive the traumatic event. "

It also says i should seek counselling... hmm maybe im going crazy... or maybe i just dont talk about my problems to ppl... ~

Ah well... i'll get over it eventually.. life goes on~
But i have never felt this scared n alive at the same time... it was truly an adrenaline rush... however.. it's also one tat has left me breathing heavily by my bedside.. a tramatic event.. if u wiLL~

Now... i bet u all wanna know.. wat is this dream i had thats makin me write at 4 in the morning just to calm myself down...

Well, like all dreams .. i cant really remember much after wakin up.. but here it goes anyway...

It kinda starts like right away... im running to a destination.. or im being chases thru out this whole dream.. till now i cant really tell which is it.. running or running away.. i think is a bit of both though...

Anyway.. like i said.. im runnin(or being chased) n im like runnin thru these buildings .. hopin thru the windows n jumpin down stairs in a mad dash to whereever im suppose to go( or run away frm...)

I'm with a couple of ppl.. n we're all running.. i breakin into house to take short cuts... lots of tat... i remember feelin afraid tat the owners would come back n find us.. or if they were already in the house, find us n catch us....

All these houses tat i'm eligibly breakin into are all mansions with lots of sofas n cusions cause i remember falling alot n having those break my fall...
The last part of the dream was .. i was exiting this mansion house thing n the owners came back.. they were in a car they knocked me over with it.. i got flung onto the hood n they were like tryin to grab thru the windows of the car.. then i got off n ran towards this gate.. but there was another car.. n it blocked my way.. so i was trapped.. then all these "owners" came out of their cars n started chasin me....

ok.. so it wasnt about man-eating monsters or serial killers... its just some lame dream of being chases... but it was scary.. n it really creeped me out man... didnt want to wake my family members up.. n i couldnt call anyone at 4 in the morning to talk.. so tat extra feelin of loneliness n havin no one to talk to really sucks...

i dont know wat to do now... do i go back to sleep... do i just watch tv & wait till sch starts... i doubt i'll have another nightmare.. they never occur twice in a night...

I know a NIghtmare is'nt reaL.. i know.. tat its just ur sub-concious mind playin tricks on u .... a Nightmare has nothin to do with Satanism or EviL... nor ghosts or monsters... its simply just a movie tat plays in ur head when u sleep...~

But stiLL....
tat was one heLL of a Nightmare...~

i hate mondays~

i hate mondays n all things tat falls on a monday or anything tat happens on a monday...

Monday's r a bitch~

the minute we wake up on a monday there's just this aura of shear contemn & disrelish towards the rest of the day.... its something no one can explain or figure out.. A monday radiates a sense of self-loathing n utter discontent upon u and affects everything u do...

its effects are contagious n is easily transmitted to another like a virus of depression... every frown u see... every shoe sole u hear draggin across the concreate floor.. is a sign tat Monday is here...~

i've tried... really i have.. to not HATE mondays... i try thinkin happy thoughts n
to look on the bright side of all the Shit tat this oh so wicked day has brough upon me... but it was futile... the curse of Monday is far to Sinister to be tainted by my actions...~

And so.. we continue to live a life of heLL.. once in every week... for 24-hrs..
We dread it on sunday nights... we relinquish when it passes... week after week... mth after mth...

i will always hate mondays... Mondays will always hate me... so i say this to u ... oh Malevolent Master of Mondays~

FuuuuuuCK yoU~


Fre3ze out~

i hate waiting~

i hate waiting....~

How much of human life is lost in waiting.....
Be it waiting in line at the MaLL.. or for a movie to start... or even waiting for someone to call or to reply...

Waiting is a Trap... there will always be a reason to wait...
Sometimes its never worth the wait... but still... we wait.....~

i hate waiting...~

Waiting is painful... it takes u to a place of isolation & loneliness...
In that short period of time spent waiting.. for watever reason it maybe..... ur transported to a different world.....

In this world... time moves ever so slow... ur mind starts to wander... u start to think of the future.. & the past... u think of wat could have been.. n wat had become...

In this Realm of Waiting... u feel insecure... ur mind begs for an objective.. but u cant give it one... u cant.... u stare intensively at everything... but nothin catches ur eye... u cant focus in this world... cant concentrate... waiting does tat to u...

i hate waiting...~

the events tat happen in our lives happen in a sequence in time, half of which we spend our lives trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save....

life is short... we're all basically just waiting to die~
I didn't know wat the full dimensions of forever is, but given tat time.. i wouldn't waste i second of it waiting..

i hate to wait... everyone does... but we cant stop... its nesesary in our everyday life... So here we sit... hopeing.... wishing... & waiting... for watever reason we choose to wait for...

and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it~

le demoiselle deux ( the girL part 2~ )

i cant seem to find her..... the girL~
i find myself constantly walking around aimlessly in search for her...
but never find her~

i regret never taking the opportunity to get to know her more back then....
We would exchange secret glances during class.. no one knowing but us...
yet i never pursuded the attraction...~

Now with her missing... my whole world seems depopulated....~
Every girl i see reminds me of her...
Every where i go, i hoped she'd show up..

Her image was burnt in my mind....
i could never stop thinkin of her~
i could'nt sleep.. i could'nt concentrate...
During lessons i would think of her... During lunch breaks her beauty interupted my mind~

Even in my sleep she haunted my dreams...
It was drivin me insane... ~

her absence was worse than death...
i longed for a reunion with her...... be it a 10 sec "hello~" or just a glace frm her alluring eyes would suffice...

I barely know her... n she barely knows me...
but the attraction was unimaginable..
to miss someone so much...who's last name u dont know... tells u just how instense
the invisible chemistry was....~

Slowly ( & painfully..) do the lone hours fly as i wait to see her again...
What shall I do with all these days and hours...
Her image keeps coming back to me in my head... tormenting me with the excruciating feeling of aphrodisia & lust~

As time goes by, i fear of unremembering her...

Absence diminishes little passions and increases greater ones~

with each passing day... i wish n pray for an opportunity to see her.. to hear her speak.. to feel her touch...~
with each passing day.... i grow more & more desolated...~

this one girL, whom i barely know n hu barely knows me is wat keeps me going... she's wat i think of when im sad... she's wat i hope for when im lonely...~

this one girL, who's last name i do not know... is wat makes me wake up in the
morning & wat torments me at night...~

i wonder if i'd ever find her...
i wonder if she'd ever find me...

Forever in my mind: the girL~

the babies~

A few years back all the Animals went away~
We woke up one morning n they were all just gone....
They didnt leave a note, they didnt say goodbye...
We never figured out wat quite happened to them.. or where they all had gone...

We missed them~

Some off us thought the world had ended, but it hadn't...
There just weren't any animals left~
No more Dogs or Whales.. No more fishes in the Sea .. No more Birds in the sky...

We were all alone~

We didnt know wat to do.. we wandered around lost, for a time, & then someone pointed out tat just because we didnt have animals anymore, it was no reason to change our lives... There was no reason to change our diets or cease testing products that might cause us harm...

After all, there were still Babies~

Babies cant talk. They can hardly move. A baby is not a rational, thinkin creature.
We made Babies....& we used them....

Some of them we ate...
Baby flesh is tender & succulent~

We flayed their skin& decorated ourselves in it....
Baby leather is soft & comfortable~

Some of them we tested on....
We taped their eyes, dripped detergents & shampoos in, a drop at a time.
We scarred tem & scalded them. we burnt them. We grafted & we Froze, & We irradiated..

The Babies breathed our smoke & the babies' veins flowed with our medicines & drugs, until they stopped breathing or until their bloods ceased to flow.

It was hard, of course, but it was nessary...
No one could deny tat~
With the animals gone... what else could we do?

Then one day all the Babies were gone...~

We didnt know where they went... we didnt even see them go~
We dont know wat we're going to do without them... But we'll think of something..

Humans are smart..
Its wat seperates us from the animals & the babies...
We'll Figure something out~




(Neil Gaiman- Babycakes)

Angelology 101~

To be fair for both sides, i've decided to shed some insight into the Angelology....
The Study Of Angels~

Angels....ethereal beings that generally carry out the WiLL of God... Messengers of GOd.. if u will~
These things are said to usually appear as Humans with Bird-Like Wings or Glowing entities like a wisp from Warcraft3 ...

Accordin to the Bible... these Beings of Light have intellegence, emotion & WiLL..
This works for both Good & EviL Angels.. ~
Angels are created by God to observe the Human race.. they have gr8 knowledge in everything beacuse they live Long enough to experience them.... also Angels are neither male nor female.. their "Sexless".. i mean.. do angels really need gender?

Like HeLL, Heaven too has 7 lvls... each ruled by a particular Demon/Angel..

The First Heaven: Shamayim~
This is the lowest lvl of the Heavens n is closest to Earth.. Its Ruled by the Archangel Gabriel.
This heaven consists of Clouds, Wind & Water... its home to a hundred over "Astronomer Angels" hu keep watch over the stars...~

The Second Heaven: Raquia~
This Heaven is ruled by the Archangels Raphael & Zachariel... this heaven is said to be where the Fallen Angels are imprisoned while waitin for their Final Judgement...

The Third Heaven: Sagun~
Sagun is ruled over by the Archangel Anahel and three other subordinate: Jagniel, Rabacyel, and Dalquiel... it is the residence for the Archangel Azrael, the Islamic Angel of death.
Accordin to wat the research says.. the NOrthern Part of this place is where HeLL resides... ( dont ask me y.. religion is confusing~ ) it is where the wicked are punished by the Angels...
The Southern Boarders of this Heaven is a Beautiful Paradise thought to be the Garden of Eden, where the souls of the righteous will come after Death~
This is also where the "Tree Of Life" can be found...
This place is where all the perfect souls go when they die & is guarded by 300 over Angels of Light..

The Fourth Heaven: Machanon~
Ruled by the Archangel Michael... this is where the Garden of Eden was Originally housed.. not the 3rd... THis place filled with Temples n Alters.. it is said to house the City Of Christ...

The Fifth Heaven: Mathey~
The Home of God, Aaron & the Avenging Angels~
The Southern Regions is where God can be found while the NOrthern parts are ruled by Archangel Samael...

The Sixth Heaven: Zebul~
Ruled by Archangel Zachiel & his subordinate Prince Zebul (in the day) & Prince Sabath (at night)... This icy snowstorm land is where 7 Phoenixes & 7 Cherubim (watever the hell tat is~) live....
Other Angels live here as well~

The Seventh Heaven: Araboth~
THe 7th Heaven is the most Holiest place of all the other heavens. Araboth is ruled by Archangel Cassiel and is home to God and his Divine Throne.. it is also the place where human souls are waitin to be born~ ( Groovy.. it a soul factory~)
It is also home to the highest Order of Angels: The Seraphim, Cherubim, (so tats wat it is...) and Thrones.

WEll.... at least u know wat button to press on the lift when u die...~
UNless u go to heLL tat is... ~

I'd like to end of this HIstory Lesson to say tat i am not Satanic or Extremly Religious.. i just thought it'd be cool to show ppl how fukin Stupid all this shit is... n how impossible n (in some cases) completely Retarded the whole Angel n Devil & God & Life & Death Conspiricy is...

With so many Different religions in the world.. n so many different versions of God.. of course there's gonna be conflict n shit~
This is y i dont like god (if he/she were real).... because ppl have Died for so many reason in the name of Religion...

Just look at NOrthern Ireland, World War 2, the Crusades & 911...
u think God wants us to kill each other ?!
OPEN UR EYES U MOTHERFUCKIN FACIST!!!

So....
My advice to religion is...
u dont have to believe it (like me~)...
but at least Respect it~

The world would be a better place if there wasnt any idea of GOd in the 1st place..

but hey...
thats just me~



xxx

Demonology 101~

hi folks~
im feelin extra Sadistic today, so im gonna do a little tribute to Evil~

Demonology is, of course, the study of Demons... all kinds from all forms of religion.. Christian, Islamic, Greek, Buddhisim, Judaism...
You wouldn't believe the no. of Demons there are in Hell...
But im just gonna write about the more "Evil-er" ones...
So here it goes...

Demonology 101~

Lets start with the most Famous of Devils... the Four Princes of HeLL~

Begining With Satan.... Lord of Flames...
In some instances, he's given a title known as "Lucifer" which means "Bringer of Light" in Roman... ( Ironic how the Lord of the Damned is known as a Light-Bearer... -_- ) THe word Lucifer is synonymous with Satan.. that means their both the same person...

Anyway, in christianity, the Devil is seen as a Fallen Angel.. He was apparently under the authority of God but didnt seem to like how he was running things so he waged a War against him...

In my opinion, Lucifer isnt really a bad guy.. he's an Angel with a mind of his own tat decided that God wasnt doing a fair job n wanted to take matters into his own hands.. n since GOd is seen as this Great embodiment of Good..... the fella that opposes would automatically be the opposite of Good... tats Evil~

2nd on the list is Leviathan.. Prince of Liars..the great Dragon from the Watery Abyss... as well as the 3rd of the Four Princes of HeLL... (like i said b4, Lucifer n Satan r both sort of the same but they are also different embodiments... )

According to research n shit, Leviathan is this big ass whale with seven heads that devours the souls of the Damned on Judgement Day...

THe last Prince of HELL.. is known as Belial, the Worthless One....~
Belial is the carnal side of man, the lust, sex, pleasure... his element is the Earth.. he's a champion for just being Human... for the lust,sex & Pleasure~

So to sum things up....
Satan's element is Fire... n his rules the South..
Lucifer's Element is Air... he rules the East...
Leviathan's element is the Sea.. West...
& Belial is Earth n rule's North...

the Satanic Compass is inverted so North is actually South & East is acutally West..
F.Y.I

Ok.... all the Princes are done.. now.. its on to the minions..

INtroducing...
Beelzebub, "Lord of the Flies" & also the Prince Of Demons...
He ususally takes on the appearence of.. u guessed it... a fly...
also he pukes flames of Vomit.. go figure~

Astaroth ...Prince of Thrones, Lord Treasurer of Hell & Head of the 8th Order of Hell who commands 40 legions...
This Bad mother is one of the Chief Generals of HeLL n his name usually appears in Video games...

Baal.. the Lord of Destruction... a Greater Demon of hell... he is the first commanding general of the infernal armies he appears as a three headed beast with spider legs.. go play Diablo 2 if u dont know...

Mephistopheles ( also Mephisto, Mephistophilus, Mephist ) known as that which avoids the light ... known as the LOrd of Hatred... another General of Hell.. again.. go play Diablo 2 if u arent familiar with him..

Samaël, known as the Venom Of God & Angel of Death.. Sammael plays the role of the accuser, seducer, and destroyer...also one of the Princes Of Demons.. He is also the executioner of the death sentences...



oh man.. there are like a 100 more demons i havent mentioned.. u guys should really check them out... wat better way to understand life...
then to understand Death...

i know God is good n all.. but the Devil is just so much coolier..
with such a huge army... i wonder y they havent stormed the gates of Heaven yet...
oh well...~


666