aussie love~

it all started last sunday... which was the last day of the holidays, n i was stoning in my room just thinkin about stuff. I wondered wad i wanted to do with the rest of my future n shit so i decided that.. yeah.. i'm gonna leave sg

*and im never comin back~

sg is a horrible place to grow up in, i've always felt tat way about it... i never liked the food (mostly ching-chong-chang food), never enjoyed its local past times (dota, soccer, pool~), never supported its tv shows, never liked the people, the goverment, its laws, its rules, its education system, its... entire way of life~

i must say tat sg is safe.. and tats about it.... but being safe means theres no excitment... the point of my post isnt souly to diss singapore, but just to say how i simply dont feel like i belong....

which is why i decided tat im running away to austraila and im never coming back~ i told my mom about it over dinner. At 1st she didnt take me seriously since i started the conversation with " Mom, i wanna go to austraila... and im never coming back...."

but then i started to explain to her my plans of migrating n shit... how i could stay with my aunt over there, maybe get a job & eventually become a citizen. I could work as, well anything really.. i dont care.. just as long as it sustains me.... i wouldnt mine workin as a simple fruit vendor or at a deli sellin fish n' chips & Pies to ppl all day... tat would still be cool since aussies are so much more friendlier than the ppl here...

i've always wanted to live a simple life... i could save up enough money n buy my mom a quiet cottage in the valley next to the vinyards and grapevines~ then every morning she could sit out by the balcony sipping wine or drinkin tea to the fine view of the orchirds~

my mom told me i should start saving money.... so i could fly to perth (or was it sydney) during the sch holidays to where my aunt n her family lived n check out the place... make plans for housing n all tat sort of thing~ then after i graduate and served the riddiculus procedure tat is National Service, i'd make my way to perth ( or sydney)..

*and im never comin back~

i wont miss anything here once im gone.... just my friends n family...
i wont miss the urban jungle of HTBs, wont miss the filty sea, wont miss the horrendous local dramas, wont miss the ridiculous GST rates, and most of all, i wont miss those unhelpful, unfriendly, self-centered, kiasu, typical, as well as oh so predictable ppl tat are singaporeans~

no more taiwan boyband posers, no more fake hip hoppers, no more minahs or mats, ah bengs or ah lians, no more creepy uncles at the coffee shops or mean old aunties at the markets... no more sobish rich basterds, no more conservative teenage girls, no more narrow-minded adults... AND NO MORE CAMPUS SUPERSTAR!!!

so please dont ask me out to the amusement park or wadever where i gotta spend alot of cash... im gonna have to start saving if im ever gonna leave this shit hole.... still gonna continue eatting bcm cause of the heroin, guess i could stop playing W.O.W but i hate those damn alliance too much so i cant do tat... but u know.. other stuff like.. playing "DOTA" or "EATING SUBWAY" ( which SUCKS-_- so screw all of u hu sub it for bcm~ ) u can count me out~

my bday's in a mth... please send me lots of ang paos...
im gonna leave...




*and im never comin back~

day before school~

its like a ritual... everytime on the last day of the holidays before school re-opens, i'd always restock my playlist with a whole bunch of new songs~

Five For Fighting - Day By Day~

its really theraputic....
calms u down and sort of prepares u for tomorrow~

with all the last min rushing goin on to get ready for sch, its nice to relax to some good music at the end of the day....

Three Days Grace - Never Too Late~

i dunno if i should cut my hair or leave it as it is... its really long and its gettin emo-lookin~ Its hard to keep long hair, but then again.. if i cut it i'd loose my bad-ass-ness by like 70% then i wont be scary lookin anymore....

Maroon 5 - Nothing Lasts Forever~

havent done much of my projects during the holiday cause of the eye~ n all... but i guess i'll deal with all that tomoro... im just gonna chill today... no worrys... its all good~

Green Day - Working Class Hero~

i feel like get my tongue pierced....
and i want a kitty -_-

blehhh...

urghhh~

woke up at noon today... been a long time since i woke up pass 10am~ went to have lunch with maddy, then chilled at starbucks.... its been a long time since we hung out, so it was pretty cool~

Tampines has changed alot... or maybe it's just cause i havent been going out much... but that'll change since my w.o.w subscription ended last night... gotta start gettin out more...

went to vic's place to chill then had dinner... im gonna go back to playin my guitar since there's no more w.o.w to play... its been a while & i really miss playin it, so yeahh~

this is a very boring post...
but im bored...
cause i have no w.o.w~


urghh....
*dies~

w.o.w~

hi...
this is Vanden....
he's a lvl 42 undead rouge~


say hi Vanden...
oh he cant.. he has no mouth -_-


boo hoo...


this is Jimmy his pet Coackroach..


say hi Jimmy... oh.. he cant.. cause he's an insect & we all know insects are deaf so he cant hear me...

this is charlie...


he's a skeleton horse~
say hi charlie...


charlie says hi...

this is wad i ride to go to disney land..


& this is wad i take to go back~


Here's is a picture of a dancing cow...


& here's one of a pedophile~


ok.. tat's it....

bye~

.... like a bat~

i've been doing nothing but laze around the house this whole week... bought my mic 2 days ago so i've been skype-ing with jared & victor during game-play which is pretty cool but we just talk nonsense all day~

the eye has totally blown all my plans~ but it feels much better now... this morning i was bleedin from and there was lots of gooey stuff coming out of it but now its fine... i guess its because all the bad stuff exploded out so the poofy-ness has gone down... yeeeahhh, kinda gross but had to happen~

but, here's the thing though...
the other eye feel kinda funky now -_-

*points both middle fingers to the sky~

the eye II~

the mother called n forced me to see a doctor yesterday, so i had to go.... went to the polyclinic at around 3.45pm then waited for maybe 45min before i got to see the doc...

i took of my glasses n he was like, "woa, that looks pretty bad son, im afraid ur gonna loose ur vision forever... aww well, sucks to be u... NEXT!"

yeah i was just makin tat up... it went like this...

poly clinic doc: "woa, that looks pretty bad, i think its best i refer u to an eye specialist at changi hospital"

Me: "err... wokay~"

so, seeing as i got nothin better to do, i made my way to CGH, the A&E department... i found out wad A&E stood for wen i got there.. "ACCIDENT & EMERGENCY"

wooooooooooooooooo~
how cool was tat, i was like... up there with all the burnt victims and car crash folks... hoho~

there was a temperature taking booth at the entrance of the place & this really niffty infra-red camera thingy tat checks if u got a fever... u could like, see urself on the screen all infra-red like~ i kept waving my hand in front of the monitor like a moron to see the lil heat waves follow my arm... so amusing~

so like, i entered the place... n my god, it was like a warzone... there were ppl all sick n shit lying on the floor... motorcycle accident victims with their faces chaved, construction workers with their fingers chopped off! kids who fell off trees and dislocated their heads! stab wound victims bleedin all over the place... blood was EVERYWHERE! CHRIST! OH THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!

....
.......

yeah, it was just like any other clinic just more cooler since there were alot of gross shit to look at, plus there were lots of cops around.. guess they were there to write reports of all the accidents n stuff... anyway, i kept laughing to myself everytime i saw some guy with a huge gash on his arm... couldnt help smiling lah it was tat cool...

anyway after lots of waiting and going from on doc to another and more waiting... saw more gross shit like dislocated fingers n a guy with full body tatts in wheel chairs... i think he came from a gang fight or he probably just feel down the stairs or something.... the mother came down about half way into the waiting which was cool...

anyway, after like 2 hrs they called my name & i went to meet the eye docter lady, she seemed pretty nice, made me take a lil eye test those ppl at the spectacles shop make u take... just read acouple of letters on a lighted board with one eye closed....

then came the gross part... she placed me on some advance kinda machine tat, again, those guys at the spectacle shop put u on to get ur eye degree except this one was full of prode n pokey lookin shit... lets just say she used every one of them -_- she like, flipped my eyelids inside out n poked it alot.. i swear i would've attacked her for it if she werent so nice to me.... it was like putting ur finger in a bullet wound & swirling it around~ she even put this yellow stuff in my eye tat made me cry yellow tears tat would glow purple in UV light~

anyway, after all the poking n proding, she said...
Eye doctor lady: " ok... so.. err... i think ur gonna die... yeeeeah... bummer huh~"
Me: " dammmn -_- i knew it~"

yeah im just makin shit up again~

anyway, after the whole torturous event, i pretty much kept my eyes closed for the rest of the waiting n stuff... just leaned on my mom the whole time... acted like some dude tat got too much morphine in his system... kept grabbing my head n lookin like some druggy lol~

anyway the whole thing cost like 75 bucks, including some eye cream thingy.... they gave me 4 days mc which is kinda stupid since its the holidays... and i still gotta go back in a week for a minor surgery if it doesnt get any better~

moral of the story...

god hates me~
but he cant kill me so he decides to make me blind during the holidays~


nice man.. real nice....
*points middle finger at the sky~

the eye~

it really hurts, the eye~
its all puffy and looks half closed all the time...

the 1st few days of it wasnt tat bad, it was just uncomfortable... but by the 2nd day, it kept trobbing and would hurt if i so much as blinked...

i couldnt watch tv, couldnt use the computer, couldnt... look at stuff~ i just kept dabbing it with a warm towel like wad the instructions on the internet said and went to sleep... but i couldnt really sleep since it was hurting alot... so, even though i spent 5/8 of the day with my eyes closed, im still pretty shagged...

this morning i woke up, it didnt feel as painful anymore, but its really really poofy now n it looks pretty cool everytime i look in the mirror... like i'd been in a fight or something...

its the 1st time i've every gotten an eye infection thingy b4... i've never even caught "sore eyes" in my life... so its a new experience... usually i just get a fever or the occasional cold, but never something about the eye... i mean, how do u cure something like tat, there's no pill u can take nor is there a cream to apply since u cant just be applying random shit near ur eyes, almost every ointment tells u not too... eyedrops, maybe... but wads the most tat would do anyway~

so i've decided to screw the doctor and just wait it out, continuously dabbin the towel on my eye since tat seemed to work a lil.... i hope it cures by tomoro since i gotta go to sch for a makeup lab...

on a lighter note, the fgf bought me a magical twig from malaysia... so kudos to tat...
went to jared's house to play with cheesedale the other day... i want a kitty so bad -_-


rawr~

nothing happened today -_-

the mct test today was pretty ok, cant say the same for the dynamics one.... it kinda hurts to smoke nowadays... reds are so strong, like friggin cancer sticks man... anyway, with the term tests comin to an end soon, im probably just gonna give'em away seeing as how i dont need'em anymore...

tomoro's the last paper... have yet to start studying for it though cause i've been feelin rather emo for some unknown reason~ bet its the lack of BCM.. -_-

i think i gotta get out more... its been so long since i've gone out and had fun~ i have so many things i wanna do... and with the holidays arriving, i guess i'll have ample time to do them, but i'd probably end up just lazyin around not doing shit just like all the other holidays~

im trying to stall time & not go study... but i gotta.. but i dont wanna.... but i gotta......






but i dun wanna...
wheres my kitty -_-~

lil matchstick girL~ part 2

Reluctant, but surely... she took out a single match from the box and striked it by the side... the ignite startled the lil girL~ but she was quickly mesmerized by its sudden shine and illustrious warmth tat she'd been longing for.....

she stared innocently into the flame's center... following its every movement, its every flicker... it was hypnotic~ The warmth comforted her.... fears of her father slowly began to fade into the dark abyss tat was the night.... in the mits of the lone flame, she began to envision a table, fully laden with food and eatables...

There was mashed potatos and slabs of beef, a beautifully roasted turkey and some irish ale~ She could almost smell it... the juicy armoa of the turkey... the suppleness of the warm ale.... but the flame was soon blown out by the howling winds... and as quickly as it came, the dinning table of food was gone~

she quickly lit the 2nd match with up most anticipation.... this time within the blurr of the light, she saw behind the dinning table, a lavished christmas tree... on it were a million candles, burning ever so kindly~ beside the it stood her dearly departed grandmother, the only person who ever loved her... she smiled blissfully at the lil matchstick girL~ gesturing herto come forth.... she complied~

afraid of loosing this moment, she quickly lit the next match and the next to ensure her dear grandma would never fade.... they sat infront of the window and watched the stars dart across the winter night skys... she remembered her grandma telling her that a shooting star meant a person has passed and gone up to heavens~

Her grandmother gazed deeply into the lil girL's eyes... she spoke of a place where there would be no hunger, where there would be no cold, where there would be no fear~ she urged the lil matchstick girL~ to take her hand so tat she may fly her to this wonderous utopia...

the lil matchstick girL~ upon hearing those words, reached out without hesitation... she could finally be free of her abusive father and be with someone hu she loves n hu loves her....

"come now my child, take my hand...."





*to be continued~

lil matchstick girL~

It was the night of new year's eve...
the 31st December of a year not too long ago....

The city was forced to endure its most numbing of winters.... families cuddled by the fireplace, with blankets over their heads and hot water-bottles tucked btw their legs... they reminise of Summer's heat as they grip their Hot chocolate tightly with both hands...

Outside in the shivering cold, a lil matchstick girL~ wondered... cold and famished with neither hat nor shoes. She treaded through the wind and snow... a single matchbox hugged firmly against her chest... she marched...

the icy winds blew and blew... brushing against her face like sandpaper, her feet, numb and worn, contined to tred through the thick snow... she was afraid to go home, her father would surely beat her if he'd find out she didnt sell any matches today.
the image of her father's belt and his tormenting lashes kept her going on thru the grizzly winter's night....

She managed to find a nook between two buildings where she huddled by herself.... even between concrete, the winter was like a furance of cold, peircing her skin with invisible knives...

her hands had turned a sickly blue and her face was pale like the moon....
she brushed off the twigs & soil from her badly tattered sweater... envious of the passer-bys with their fur coats and winter boots...

she was cold...
& she needed to keep warm~




*to be continued....

13MG TAR 1,0MG Nicotine.. yummy~

i hate sch... 4 weeks ago i couldn't wait to get back... but now its just such a drag... 3 days of 8am lessons a week... ending lessons at 5pm except for wednesday n friday....

plus with the term tests coming next week, everyone's rushing to the labs n libraries to do last minute stuff.... i spent the whole day runnin around like all the others, frantically trying to submit my shit in time...

went to the secret shop to get a pack of smokes... its been a weeks since i had a fix... but didnt have a lighter so i just waited till i got home...

its quite fasinating the wonderous properties of a cigarette... it not some wonderdrug tat magically takes all ur problems away... it just calms u down.... then theres all that crap about lung cancer and shit... well yeah smokin does kill... but so do the pesticides in the salads u eat... besides.. i think i'd die in some other manner, like... fallin off a cliff or something...
plus, i've been eating like a pregent woman these pass few days... i think its cause im dying~

anyway.. i guess should go study or something... its so not-cool to keep failing...
i wanna kill myself but i dont think god will let me...

dont know if SPCA is still on..... im afraid i might kill it or something...
but we could still go to look at the kitties if ur not too tired from camp :)


can someone buy me an ashtray... i just burnt the plastic cover of my book -_-


*stubbs out cig~