nothing changes~

u know... its not like i didnt study for it, its not like i didnt cared and just fooled around during the study week... i made an effort, i did my revision.. and

what happens?

the questions i study for didnt even come out in the paper... wat's worst is its a re-take, so if i flunk im out-_-

maybe if i hadnt studied or just fooled around the entire week, uknow... then maybe i might not feel so guilty about not doing so well since i didnt even bother... but thing is, i did...

the past week was one of the longest n most nerve-racking week i've had... the fear, it just keeps me up every night~

im soo tired...

i thought today it would all be over, and the minute i stepped outta that room, the air would feel fresher, the grass would look greener, that a great weight would have been lifted from my shoulders.... and i would feel just an ounce freedom~

i walked out of my classroom and the air was just as damp... the grass was just as dull... and i felt nothing.... nothing had changed at all~

caught "Internal Affairs" with rick at the sch lib... i finally get to compare between the 2 films.. that & "The Departed" of course... Leonardo was better~

got home at around 4... felt like shit the whole day... sore throat + cold... the constant sneezing and having to clear my throat every 2 secs is soo not cool~

im just sooo tired...

oh hey... did u know, if you see someone doing something, but he's paying attention to you instead... then his a cop~

chinese-ness~

netfund exam was quite okay actually... i did study for it but the paper was hard... so i dont really feel guilty about not being able to do some off it, but i think i'll be able to clear it~

wanted to go some shady karaoke place at katong to audition ourselves for lead singer of our hopeless band... but after going thru all the back-alleys to find the damn place, they were closing soon so we decided to go k-box instead, figured singin acouple of ching-chong-chang songs wouldnt be so hard...

how bad could it be? "wo ai ni, ni ai wo~" tats pretty much about it... but the situation was extremely gay since it was 6 guys going into a karaoke place~ we all huddled at a corner n discussed hu should go talk to the counter girl... it was like going into a brotel or something~

at least we had 2 chinese speaking ppl in our group... n practically everything in there was in chinese... the tv remote, the signs on the walls... we would have stoned there without a translator...

but at least there were english songs... but oh how horrid the music videos were... almost everytime the video would have no relation to the song...

Queen's "Bohemien Rhapsody" had a sadistic kid that stuck this G.I Joe into a toaster & headless ken & barbie dolls dancing nude while the crazy kid faints infront of a tree~

& enrique iglesias's "Hero" had scenes of the MRT, ppl sailing in boats & an old man sitting in his living room pointing at his shelf like some sorta documentary... (it may very will be one, they'd probably took some old film n just threw in the song) the least u could do would be to maybe make a pretty girl walk around or something... at least that would make SOME sense -_-~

the onli songs which had the original MTV as the Karaoke one were the chinese songs...

now, the thing i learnt tat day about chinese pop culture is tat...

1. They still use the ancient china kinda chinese for the lyrics of the song... so all i could interpret was the basic nouns like the "I", "And", "When" and the numbers -_-

2. from the time he started singin till 2007, jay chou has produced a thousand albums with a total of 1 million songs n their all found at kbox~

3. Hebe, that girl from the S.H.E is actually kinda hot...

4. we're never singing chinese songs ever again~

the whole thing costed a bomb not to mention how extremely gay it was... never going back there again, its not the place for ppl like us....

still lookin for a long hair-ed drummer & a female lead vocal... if u see our flyers in sch, please dont rip them down~


much obliged :)

we built this city on rock n' roll~

im never eating fast food again for like... a year -_-~
studying in Macdonalds is horrid... fries after fries... a double cheese then the Strawberry Sunde followed by nuggets & more unhealthy crap... gawd~

damn u corporate America and ur damn fast food outlets.... -.-

the issue with the whole BAND thing kept coming back in our discussions....
first off we still need a drummer & we were thinkin of stickin a lil flyer in design sch which said..

"LOOKING FOR DRUMMER TO PLAY OLDIES MUSIC~ PLEASE CONTACT...."

But then we realised that we sucked & having a kick ass drummer would just make the rest of us look bad, so we decided that it should most likely say...

"LOOKIN FOR DRUMMER WHO PLAYS LIKE CRAP BUT CAN STILL MANAGE TO HOLD A REASONABLE BEAT TO PLAY OLDIES MUSIC~ PLEASE CONTACT...."

so, if anyone's like tat, WE WANT YOU!

then the other thing was wad songs to play n wad to call the god damn band... n seeing tat we're playing shit from the 60s-90s and other hotel lobby cum elevator music, we'd probably not gonna get much fans besides the old uncles & aunties :(

eddy's always complaining how the bassist never gets laid, but hell, if we're playin disco, none of us are gonna get the chicks.... then theres the whole discussion about whether to play modern stuff from the chilli peppers or click five, but none of us can sing shit like tat...

so our so called "band" has pretty much gone to shit~ but we haff to make it work~

gotta get a job during the holidays...
need like a thousand buck if im gonna get inked~
haff to get mom's name tattooed before her birthday...

oldies~

went to kfc, to study with vic, edd & andrew but had a huge conversation about disco music and oldies from the 60s-90s~ from the ballads of Frank Sinatra & Tony Bennitt, to the corny yet romantic tunes of "Lets get it on" by Marvin Gaye~

The 60s was cool i guess... then came "Saturday NIght Fever" and the Bee Gees, but im not really into Disco~ i've been introduced to awhole other genre of music n its really cool... not many ppl can appreciate the quality music of the 70s or even 80s~

From "Chicago" to "Earth, Wind & Fire".... the stuff we were talking about could've easily appead to a 40 year old uncle -_- but its kinda cool that they like shit like this.. so kudos~

oldies are cool, but im stickin to the chili peppers and john mayer~




now tell me this shit isnt romantic :)

bad day, bad day, bad day~

i woke up at 3am last night for no reason, feeling all sweaty n afraid, terrified even... i dont remember having a bad dream or anything like tat... but i was really spooked...

so spooked infact that i went to take a shower... at 3 in the morning-_-.. cause i was genuinely scared... and for what, i dont even know... i just remembered tat while i was takin my bath in my half-awoken state, i kept thinkin about the exams n shit...

the paper today was... it was awful... i didnt know anything and the weather didnt make things any better... it was freezing in there~

half the time i wanted to leave cause i knew failure was inevitable and the cold was piercingly painful, but i had to stay.... i wrote line after line of made-up programming codes and bullshit theories that, to a person hu never learnt the subject before would probably believe i knew wad i was writing... but to someone hu did, it would'nt make any sense at all~

At some point, i leaned back onto my seat and clapsed my hands together to gather warmth... then, well... i sorta began praying-_-~

i was making deals inexchange for a passing grade for the paper.... after which i laughed at myself for doing it...

i havent prayed in years...~
must be the drugs messin with my head....

after the paper, i rushed to the bus stop to get a fix... it was really cold, the cigarette helped, but i cursed myself later for doing it~

im afraid... i dont know if, i'd be able to clear the rest of my papers...
bah, whatever -_-~





gawd i hate engineering...
*lights another cig~

imma striker, yes i am~

soccer was cool, goal keeper+striker+defender all in one...im the best player in the world :)

gonna head to ari's place tomoro hang out n make music... gives me an excuse to bring regina~ out tomoro:) plus, thursday's are the days i get to see tanktop girL~ so kudos... then i could look all cool n stuff holdin my guitar ho ho~

iwanna go to boston & california & aussie...
iwanna touch snow & surf & breathe something foreign, experience something different~

cant do any of tat here ...
haff to get outta here, haff to leave or lizard people will eat me~

i hope i get to see her tomoro... but if i say i wanna see her u wont let me... so im not going to...
but i want to -_-..


gawd, she's beautiful~

haff to...~

came to sch for 1 lesson since the rest where cancelled... got 15/20 for dynamics, so kudos to that... was gonna go swimming but god found out so he made it rain -_-

caught Rush Hour III with the turds, it was cool...
soccer tomoro since i got no sch...

i've been thinkin about her the whole day...

haff to study for exams...
haff to kill enrique iglesias....
haff to find tank top girL~

haff too~


"If you feelin like a pimp n*gga, go on brush your shoulders off~"

random ass day~

was gonna go swimmin today, but then it rained... so tat sucked -_-
stoned at home pretty much the whole day playin "Californication" & "Under the bridge" on my guitar & watchin re-runs of the spongebob + the powerpuff girls on youtube...

i made a new friend today too....
her name's Cassy and she plays the imaginary guitar~
by day, a mild mannered student but by night, a ruthless killer of rabbits...

Cassy the bunnie hunter, sticks pencils in their glowing red eyes, skins their faces and eats their brains~!!!!! OH THE HORROR! THE HUMANITY!!!

but other than that she's pretty sweet... weird, but sweet... :)

rick showed me this old sch japanese version of Spider-man from the 1970s.... its uber lame... apparently he drives a car and owns a mega-zord which he uses to protect the world from the evil M.O.E(wadever tat stands for, since in the whole show they never said wad the hell the acronyms stood for-_- ) from doing reasearch on naked babies... ho ho~

here's the 1st episode dubbed in english... enjoy~






"look at that guy crawling the walls..."
"SPIDER MAN!!"

u gotta love the japanese :)~

yes=no, no=yes~

today is a very SPECIAL day, a very SPECIAL day indeed~
its non-other than our GREAT nation's day of independence! Our country's national day~

and i must say, i LOVE my country... oh yes, i reeeallly reaallly LOVE this country. This tiny ass island, oh yes indeed.. i LOVE it sooo~
I LOVE how everyone here is so FRIENDLY & KIND, how we have so much FUN living together like one big HAPPY-ass family~

i LOVE the foood, i LOVE the sights, the sea, the weather... i LOVE its FINE education establishments and EXCELLENT standard of living. Everyone is sooo HAPPY living in this WONDEROUS country we call home... afterall, we're all ever so PATRIOTIC... everyone of us~

and theres SOOO much things to do here too, oh yes! we're NEVER bored :) we live our lives to the FULLEST everyday... we pity those hu go thru routine after routine never taking a moment to have fun, never taking a moment to enjoy... we pity those hu spend every moment of their lives workin, studying, never enjoying... oh no, here everyone ENJOYS & everyone is HAPPY~

i especially LOVE how democractic and FREE this country is, everyone has a say in everything, we run the country as one people and one nation. its NOT like the goverment makes all the decisions for us, oh no... it doesnt matter wad we say, it'd be taken into consideration, i mean... its NOT like we'd go to jail for speaking our minds... onli a fucked up country would do tat wouldnt u agree?

but Ooh no, not this country... everyone's opinion is ALWAYS taken into consideration. Did i mention how much i LOOOVE this place?

well i doo.. i really... reeeeeeeeeeealllly do... -_-
i LOVEE my country & i hope i stay here forever~





happy 40th.. or 42th... wadever... ~

scary man~

i made a kid cry today...
i think im goin to hell~

he just popped outta nowhere n bumped into me...
then i was like,

"DAMMIT KID WATCH WHERE THE F*CK UR GOING!!!!"

no, not really i just stared at him... then he ... then he just started wailing and shit -.-

i mean, wad do u do? when... something like tat happens... i started to wonder if i did something wrong but, i didnt.. he ran in to me~ and its not like he was hurt or anything since he didnt fall down, he just got nudged back when he crashed into me.

so like, there i was... was this cryin kid infront of me... then i was like....

me: "kid, wth... stop cryin~"
kid: *sob sob
me: "what's wrong wit chu man i din do nothin!!"
kid: *wails louder~
me: "kid, if u dont shut the f*ck up right now, imma gonna have ta whoop yo ass."
kid: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

so, then i let him have it... and tat was tat~
took off b4 anyone saw me...
crazy-ass cryin kid had it commin...

well, wad really happened was his mom came in n grabbed him then she just laughed as though the whole thing was just silly, then i smiled back and carried on my merry way...

but, i mean... i just made a kid cry... but kids cry all the time right? no big deal~ yet i still wonder... am i tat scary? that kids cry when they see me?

makin a kid cry is not fun... well, yeah.. sometimes its fun.. but i dont take pleasure in doing it.... hmm... okay sometimes i do.... but tats not the point~
bottomline is tat its just not cool to make children cry no matter wad...

i guess im just bothered by that... who would've thought something rather insignificant can have such an affect my perception of myself around others~

i look in the mirror n i see a geeky fella hu doesnt give a rat's ass wad the world thinks of him... but, maybe... i should just... tone down the terror a lil... hmm....


i like kids... not enough to wanna eat them though~
they dont taste very good anyways -_-

lil matchstick girL~ part 3

hi, sorry i took so long... here's the links to the first two parts if u forgot the story~ enjoy...
part I
part II

the moon loomed
the night, haunting
the wind frenzied~

huge, dizzying, clumps of snow fell through the air.... patches of white against an iron-grey sky, snow that touches ur tongue with cold and winter, that kisses ur face with its hesitant touch b4 fre3zin you to death...

inches upon inches of snow buried the land... creating a fairy-tale world & makin everything unrecognizably beautiful....

the lil matchstick girL~ laid motionless on the gravel floor.... spent matches surrounded her lusterless body~

a lil boy and his father were makin their way home from the florist... he wanted to surprize his mother with a bouquet of Lilacs on new year's...

the boy flaunted the flowers to everyone he met on the way... he hand-picked each one himself and was excited to see the look on his mother's face~
they passsed an alley and the boy halted his father...

"hello lil girl... arent these flowers pretty? im giving them to my mother for new year's eve, she'd be so delighted."

the lil girL~ remained silent....

curious, the boy gestured for his father to inspect her...
she was cold as death.... her clothes were torn, her skin, pruned & shrivilled
...

she was dead...

the father gasped, but remained calm.. he didnt want to frighten his son.... he surveyed the area and found the burnt-out matches....

"she was... trying to warm herself... " he muttered~

the lil boy kneeled beside the lil matchstick girL~ tilting his lil head to one side, he gazed at her face... her eyes were closed and she was pale blue... but there, on her lips...

she was, smiling...
the boy smiled too~

"she's pretty" said the boy to his father...
then he he plucked a Lilac from his mother's bouquet and placed it in her cold, cold hands....

"lets go son, ur mother's waiting..."
the boy stood up & brushed his knees. He took his father's hand, and they walked on..


the moon was still..
the night, mourned...
the wind blew no more~


~End~





im gonna, dedicated this to my mom.... so yeah..
oOh, and kudos to Mr Hans Christian Andersen~



cheers~