incubus~

the time now is about 4:15 am in the morning...

i had just had the most insane nightmare.... i've had insane nightmares before.. but, it's been a while since i had one this intense....

i mean.. seriously.. i'm shaking right now... it has to be a significant nightmare to make me wake up at 4 in the morning on a sch night just to write this shit...

im trying to think happy thoughts.. but i realised i dont have any... & since im tryin to quit smokin... cant do tat either... im not religous so cant pray... tried meditating, but tats just lame... So, i've decided to write a little... calms me down... n allows me to get some few things off my chest...~

Let me start frm the beginning... b4 i slept today.. i spent a gd clean hr tossin n turnin.. some times just sittin up n starin my 4 walls cause i couldn't sleep.. there was alot going on in my mind, stuff i would not like to share with u all... but the stuff was real actual event happenin in my Life currently and it was.. i guess ... messing my sleep up...

Anyway, i've been researchin on nightmares a couple of min ago n it says that ( i quote..) "Evil thoughts are actually material things manifested by us. In other words by believing in raw evil you can actually create it. " -Edgar Cayce

also.. tat ( i quote again..) "Nightmares can also signify deeply rooted psychological problems. Individuals suffering from these forms of post traumatic stress disorder is common for them to be haunted by nightmares as they relive the traumatic event. "

It also says i should seek counselling... hmm maybe im going crazy... or maybe i just dont talk about my problems to ppl... ~

Ah well... i'll get over it eventually.. life goes on~
But i have never felt this scared n alive at the same time... it was truly an adrenaline rush... however.. it's also one tat has left me breathing heavily by my bedside.. a tramatic event.. if u wiLL~

Now... i bet u all wanna know.. wat is this dream i had thats makin me write at 4 in the morning just to calm myself down...

Well, like all dreams .. i cant really remember much after wakin up.. but here it goes anyway...

It kinda starts like right away... im running to a destination.. or im being chases thru out this whole dream.. till now i cant really tell which is it.. running or running away.. i think is a bit of both though...

Anyway.. like i said.. im runnin(or being chased) n im like runnin thru these buildings .. hopin thru the windows n jumpin down stairs in a mad dash to whereever im suppose to go( or run away frm...)

I'm with a couple of ppl.. n we're all running.. i breakin into house to take short cuts... lots of tat... i remember feelin afraid tat the owners would come back n find us.. or if they were already in the house, find us n catch us....

All these houses tat i'm eligibly breakin into are all mansions with lots of sofas n cusions cause i remember falling alot n having those break my fall...
The last part of the dream was .. i was exiting this mansion house thing n the owners came back.. they were in a car they knocked me over with it.. i got flung onto the hood n they were like tryin to grab thru the windows of the car.. then i got off n ran towards this gate.. but there was another car.. n it blocked my way.. so i was trapped.. then all these "owners" came out of their cars n started chasin me....

ok.. so it wasnt about man-eating monsters or serial killers... its just some lame dream of being chases... but it was scary.. n it really creeped me out man... didnt want to wake my family members up.. n i couldnt call anyone at 4 in the morning to talk.. so tat extra feelin of loneliness n havin no one to talk to really sucks...

i dont know wat to do now... do i go back to sleep... do i just watch tv & wait till sch starts... i doubt i'll have another nightmare.. they never occur twice in a night...

I know a NIghtmare is'nt reaL.. i know.. tat its just ur sub-concious mind playin tricks on u .... a Nightmare has nothin to do with Satanism or EviL... nor ghosts or monsters... its simply just a movie tat plays in ur head when u sleep...~

But stiLL....
tat was one heLL of a Nightmare...~