time is running out~

mom called me at like eight in the morning to wake me up... i told her i was tryin to get use to wakin up early for army so she's been givin me "morning calls" ever since~

but i woke up at like 10.30, so i guess i need to work on that~

went to the kitchen n there was a Sandwitch in the fridge (she had a brown and everything -_- ) Ham+Cheese on wholewheat bread.. i hate the stuff (not the sandwich just the type of bread used) but mother always insists on it... apparently it makes u poop more and therefore its healthier -_-

but wad am i complaining about, i have free breakfast, so i take it knowing full well the effort mom took to make it before goin to work :)

then there'd be a tiny bottle of some Ginseng crap next to it she'd want me to drink everyday or i'd die as well...

it tastes like horse -_- it used to be Brands chicken essence... at least tat was still ok since i like chicken~ but this horse gingseng thing is just gross... it has weird things floating in it like hair... from.. u know, the horse~ and on the bottle, it said "made in china... from the hair of horses... and some of its innerds"

im not makin this up man! its a horse in a bottle! Call the FDA!

so then i laze around the whole day, usin the computer and lying on my filty filty bed in my filty filty room that mom's been naggin me all year to clean thinking to myself...

"heyy... i should really do something about this woredrobe.. and these bedsheets... and all that dust from the fan... and tat dead rat at the corner"

"blahh, i'll do it tomoro~"

a great philoshper once said, "Why do something today when you can put it off til tomorrow?" or was it the other way round? needless to say, tat philosiphy's been goin great for me... (i know i spelt it wrong, shut up)

however, im running out of 'tomorrows'.. infact from today, im onli left with 11tomorrows... and tat scares me~

im gonna try n stop being such a lazy fuck and start doing stuff before i enlist~ afterall, once i go in there i might never come out for like a mth or more... so yeah~

i love my mom and i wanna make her happy so im gonna listen to her on the room cleaning thing~ n the 1st thing im gonna do after tat is to go complete the tattoo on my back with her name on it that she hates, n waste more money to make her happy :)

YAY!

im such a good son.. tsk :)

that 70s guy~

Rick Astley is the shit~




this is soooOOOooo totally not gay...




totally~


.............
........
...




dont you judge me!

violet hill~

watched Speed Racer with Stuart like 4 days ago... not bad, its was super colourful and had such a retro soundtrack.. oh, and we also saw celia there too.. took a picture of her when she wasnt lookin...


hey cely, i didnt know u where in the Chronicles of Narnia~

there's this really cool Samsung Flip phone their sellin at 7-Eleven... its really shiny and i havent been able to stop thinking about it all week ever since i googled it~

look at it, its so red and shiny and it has a flip and its shiny.. and it flips... did i mention it's a flip phone?


i went thru so much trouble trying to get that phone all week... had to go so many 7-Elevens lookin for it, then the bff found a place so she helped me buy it 1st but then the asshole at the counter gave her wrong coloured phone cause the picture on the box was red but the phone inside was black which blows cause i really wanted the red one but after lookin at the black one, it wasnt half bad just a tad emo lookin but i dont really mind and since the seal on the phone box was already open they said we couldnt return it which i thought was just bull since they gave us the wrong set in the 1st place but i dont care since cause it looks really really cool n im just urber excited tat i have it now cause it looks just so fuckin awesome tat everytime i flip it open i giggle a lil to myself and i know tats kinda weird but no one's really lookin so i do it anyway plus i've been really wanting to blog about it the pass few days but my wireless is fucked up so i couldnt n now tat i have it and the connections back up i figured i'd tell u guys, so there~

*breathes~

also i'd wanna thank stewy for following me to get earphones and bringing the music back to my train rides...

the great singapore sale is here & expo has a shit load of sales going on... Robinsons sale at hall 7 which is where im workin at till the end of the month, theres an adidas sale, a popular sale, a "the branded sale" sale and more stuff with loads of cheapo + cool things to buy.. i bought like a spatula and a niffty jacket~

look at it, its just so awesome... and shiny.. and flippy~


im gonna call it antonio...
Antonio, my shiny black flip phone with no display panel infront, but hey tats cool, i still love him, and imma take him to the army with me where i'd.. probably loose him in the jungle cause he's just so damn dark... but i'd still find him and we'd be happy again :)





"i took my love down to violet hill,& there we sat in snow....
All that time she was silent still...
so if u love me, wont u let me know~



if u love me wont u let me go..."

"quote unquote"~

my earphones brokedown a couple of days ago... i cant hear anything from the rightside at all... since then, my train rides to work have been quiet and demoralizing~ i feel sad... something different without it... i miss the music~

but now with the computer fixed, whenever i get home from work at night, i close the door.. turn on my AC.... light the lil inscent burner by my side of my bed, and listen to the makings of Coldplay or The Fray~ (or any chill-out song for that matter)

i'll be all alone in my room at night, were its cool & quiet with nothin but the glare from my screen and a floor lamp from ikea turned on... just listenin to music while i surf and blog~

eventhough i dont have a thousand dollar speaker to hear from, its still a great feeling... being by yrself, after a long day at work, when ur surrounded with so many people.... its just nice to be by yrself at the end of the day & reflect upon the day's troubles~

its especially satisfying when u havent had the chance to listen to anything the entire day~ i believe music is best enjoyed in a quiet and comfortable enviroment... not at some rowdy concert where its loud and noisy with gross, sweaty people rubbin up against u -_- i guess its fun too, sure... but there're other ways to enjoy music, i just choose to do it subtly~



so yeah~ just figured i'd just share that...

anyway, i know it's sad that I never gave a damn about the weather, but it never gave a damn about me...




*cough cough~

from wad i remember...~

so many things have happened... its such a pity i wasn't able to write about them all when i had the inspiration too.. seeing as how my computer is dead n all...

but i'll try n depict these evens out again.... from wad i can remember~

5th May 2008

i finally get mom's name inked on my back.... even though mother's day was 6 days away, it was the onli off day i had for that week, so yeah... i remember having a great chat with Meng while he worked on me.. it was cool~ and yes, it hurt... i remembered seeing alot of blood... it wasnt gross or anything though... suprizingly~

did i mentioned it hurt alot?

i remember it feeling good when it was done... seeing ur mother's name on ur back... it felt good~ my onli regret was that i was alone when it was being done~ but its not complete... i've yet to join them... tat'll be in a couple of weeks when this heals over...

6th May 2008

i remember pain... alot of pain... not the kind where u'd roll around screaming in agony... it wasnt that excruciating... but it hurt... nonetheless~

it was the kind of pain where u'd keep still and try not move... the kind where u'd just stand at one spot focusing on something infront of u while u held a straight face... the kind of pain where u'd kringe all of a suddenly when the wind blew a loose thread from ur shirt straight into the pores of ur back...

i remember standing very still at work.... hunching over the counter, not moving an inch... keeping my back faced to the wall, being weary of any object tat came too close to me when i was walkin down the street....

i rememebered the pain very well~

7th May 2008

without sufficent time to recupourate after the inking, i realised it was a horrible decision to get it done when i had work for the next 6 days in a row... i killed alot of kittens to subdue the discomfort... i wanted to tell the mother about it.. i wanted her to see it and give me a big hug... tat would've taken alot of the pain away...

i came home tat night, haggered & exhausted from work ... i put my bag down and sat next to her... She seemed happy..."It was an apropriate time to do it" i thought...

her face changed immediatly.... she didnt say a word.... that.. look... of disappointment....

it didnt help the pain at all....

she went to her room... and that was that~

8th-9th May 2008

i was slaughtering kittens by the hundreds... metephorically speaking of course... they made my throat hurt.. but i didnt care... replacing a lesser pain for a greater one.... didnt see the harm in tat~

at least not till later...

the mother hasnt spoken a word to me... she hasnt replied my text msgs. or my calls... i came home and went to sit by her... she brushed me off~


i pleaded my case, asked her y she was upset... i told that the blood shed was for her.. and all i wanted was her appreciation... i told her i had done nothing wrong... that everyone else would've found this a touching gesture....

she wouldnt even look at me....

10th May 2008

the mother nudged me in my sleep that morning... said there was breakfast in the kitchen... i didnt really reacting much to it at 1st since i was still in a daze.... but after reflecting on it later in the day, i found it most consoling~ i told my friends at work... "hey guess wad! my mom said there was breakfast in the kitchen to me this morning!" they didnt know wad i was so happy about.... i didnt care that they did~



11th May 2008 ( Mother's Day )

i've been bringing her flowers every day of the week... the living room is full of pots and stalks of daisies & chrysanthemums.... today i brought home another pot and a giant lily the BFF bought for my mom, which was ever so thoughtful~ at this point we were sort of on speakin terms.. but she kept sayin she still doesnt like me with tat pouty tone of her's~

i presented her with the bouqet and she gave me a look & asked wad great atrocity i had committed this time to be serenaded with flowers everyday~

i laughed.... and she gave me a hug~

i smoked my last fag tat night...

12th May 2008

now came the judgement of my "3 packs within a week" rendevous~ it was fun killin urself.. i'd admit... but feelin urself dying was not~

i spent my off day coughing and wheezing and hackin up substances of a greenish-yellowy nature.... it was not fun....

with my immune system weakened from the inking, and the weather being as crazy as its always been... the lil sticks of death i put in my mouth were much more harmful then i thought... i was replacing a greater pain for an even bigger one... had i only known... well... i had.... guess i deserved it~

it was fun while it lasted.... but i am never doing it again~ especially when im about to be enlisted... i'll be needin tat extra stamina....

13th May 2008

was suppose to go to work today but i called in sick.. it wasnt gettin any better... and now it developed into a fully fledged FLU~

i feel horrible, the room's too warm so i turn on the fan, then it gets too cold n i start to sneeze... my throat feels numb n everything tastes bad.... i have so much things to do but i can barely stand.... i stumble from room to room like a drunk.... i go to the kitchen to pour a drink... then i fall onto the living room couch for a breather before headin to my room again...

i felt silly doing it.... but it amused me~ stumbling around was kinda morbidly fun.... everyone knows having the flu makes ur body weak & ur mind drozy.... even if u werent, the cold meds would've made sure of it....

i phoned my mom n spoke to her in the most childish of fashions.... i told her i was dying, that i wanted her to come home and pat my butt to sleep so i'd feel better in the morning... she scolded me and told me to pick up my clothes in the living room...



Blahh... mothers~



i almost forgot to put the picture up~


mom says its ugly but she keeps touching it... tsk~

i sit here, now, in my room, with a wad of tissue up my nose, bloggin on my mom's msn-less labtop thinkin wad an asshole i've been these past few days for doing the things i've done... but i have no regrets... i never do..... because i made these choices... n i onli have myself to blame should these choices turn out to be bad ones... it feels good to be able to... decide for yrself~

i want to remember... the things i do, the things i feel.... i want to remember the good times and the bad... the people i met, the places i go to.... i want to remember everything.... and i want others to remember it too~

so i write, when i can...

& i blog, when i can.....

so tat wadever i go thru, i will never forget any moment of it....







so i never forget any moment at all~