thank you for smoking~

i have decided to quit smoking once n for all...
it was to be my birthday gift to myself~

2 days before my day of days i bought my last pack of Marlboro Reds and smoked every stick with the up most indulgence... savouring every breath...

i played with the smoke as it drifted out of my mouth... moving my lips to alter the flow... it made patterns in the air.. rings of smoke floated playfully in the wind-less enclosure of my room...

i liked smoking... it wasn't just a habit..it was a place to go.... Where I could just shut out the rest of the world and find a little bit of time, and peace for myself.... Just a little bit~

Till now, i dont even know why im quiting.... sure smoking kills u.. but idunwannaliveforever~ i had no reason at all, that appealed to me, to quit~ when i reached my last stick, i couldn't bring myself to finish the last one.... i didnt want it to end... had no reason to...~

In fact, it would actually help me more if i continued~
But this morning ... i lit the last one up anyway... i figured, things can happen for no reason... i had no reason to quit, i had no one to quit for, i did not fear the consequences of not quiting... but i did it anyway, for no reason~

Its been 2 days since i've stopped.. my head hurts every now & then, and i feel real grouchy everytime i wake up... all of which i think i'll be able to overcome sooner or later~

i sit at the non-smokin area everytime i go to starbucks now... is a pretty cool change i guess... but i dont know how long this will last... i keep adding reasons to make me start smoking again... but i've got none to make me stop...

oh well...
i'll think of one sooner or later~