it's beauty to me~

i slept at 3am the other night & woke up at 6 to get to sch by 8 for the 1st paper... the second was a pretty much a goner & because of that i wont have enough CU points to have my SIP next sem....

when i got home, there was this letter shoved underneath the door from the electric company saying they've disconnected the power in the house cause we didnt pay the bills... true enough, i flipped a couple of switches but nothing turned on... apparently my family's poor~

the phone was dead, so were the lights. Couldn't watch tv or turn on the computer. No fan or AC... & everything in the fridge was melting~ i kinda stoned infront of the door for awhile readin "Chariots of the Gods" since it was the onli place with light and a decent breeze...

vic called.. said the guys just came from the arts house & where gonna have coffee so i went to meet them at Plaza Sing an hour later... i had alot on my mind... figured the coffee would help~

hung around and talked for awhile b4 going to carfour... eddy wanted to get some cheetos before headin off~ when i got home, the sister and the father were back.. it was dark and cold... there were candles everywhere...

the father borrowed some power from the neighbour nextdoor so there was this really long extension cable running from from their house thru my room window which powered the fridge, a desk lamp and a fan in his room....

he did wad most asshole father's would do... he made things worst~ kept bitchin n goin off on how it was my fault i didnt show him the letter before going out.... i flipped him off n went to take a bath under the candle light....

it was pretty romantic i must say... there was no warm water since the heater was out too, but the flickering of the candle light made things feel cosy and warm~

i was exhausted...

the house was in darkness except for some light coming thru the open door and the lone candle i held... everyone was asleep by now but me... went to my room to find something to read to pass the time till my mom came back~

so, there i was, all by myself in the dark reading russel lee's 11th book & sitting by the front door with the candle placed on a table just next to the alter of which i had a very clear view off~

it was... rather unsettling -_- but i was more concerned about the whole "no power" thing than the affairs of the supernatural~ mom came back soon after... don't remember when, clock on the VCR was out~ i asked her if she was ok... she said everything was fine, and i bought it~

that night, i didn't manage to get a wink of sleep... it was hot in my room so i went outside to sleep on the living room floor since my mom was on the couch.. but it was uncomfortable, so i went back to my bed but then it got hot again so i went back n forth the whole night till i ended up in the kitchen cause the tiles on the floor were cool and there was a nice breeze comin from the kitchen window~

the next morning, i woke up in my room... guess i must've walked back but i didnt really remember~ the sister and mom went to work but the Father was home.... i could hear him smackin some poor guy over the phone, he was probably from the electric company~ didnt want to stick around to find out so i went downstairs to study for my last 2 papers tomoro...

i was sooo tired~

went to the gas station & got a can of red bull and a box of strawberry filled hello pandas then found a cosy spot to sit... my box of cigs from the day before were about half gone... but i had enough to keep me goin till tomoro~

it didnt rain, but it was really windy, which was nice.... saw alot of school kids walkin home with maids & mothers fetchin the smaller ones~ i hadn't had a "sit-down-and-watch-the-world-go-by" session in awhile, so it was cool~

life hasnt excactly been a walk in the park for me... i wasnt born rich... my mom's extremely over-protective, my older sister acts like a twelve year old, not to mention the father's an A-hole~

but, it doesnt really bother me anymore... i think i've gotten used to it~ however, i've always wondered how it would be like if things were different... if we were rich and if i didnt have a prick for a dad... but then i'd probably turn out to be one of those jackoff who drive around in a fancy car wearing expensive clothes and treatin women like shit~

i'd figured i'd turn out pretty fucked considering the things i've been through, but im actually quite suprized at how well im taking everything... and with the a-hole around, mom's always tellin me how im the "man of the house" now & i gotta take care of things n look after her & the other child~

the power's back up now, tats why im able to write.. passing tomoro's paper determines whether i'll be spending next sem in sch or in the army.... but i honestly dont know if i can clear it~

probably gonna study more after i finish writing...
this is like my 3rd cup of coffee today, and i have 6 sticks left...

well, 5 now....

its 8.30pm & there's not a cloud in the sky blocking my view of the moon~





beautiful :)