Hey all u depressed teens & terminally ill ppl !
Ever felt tat life's not worth living... ?
Ever wake up in the morning thinkin of the fastest way to get it over with?
Ever feel like the world is a terrible place & that everyone in it is out to get u?
Ever have a craving for something but u just cant figure out wat n tat just drives u insane?
Well i've got the perfect solution...
go KILL YOURSELF !!!
YES! tats right.. run to the kitchen.. pick up a knife.. n run it thru urself! Its the onli way out i say.. frm this Oh so cruel existance we call life...
Wats tat?
Not sure how to kill urself?
want to do it in style so ur family members wont think ur a pussy for taking the ez way out?
Well i've got the ANSWERS!!!
here are some of the ways to kill urself... the MACHO WAY!!
1. Strangle urself to death
im not sure if its possible since u'd probably pass out b4 u die due to the lack of O2 ... but hey its worth a try : )
2. REmove ur own heart
U gotta have a strong stomach for this.. n lots of balls... also u gotta do a little research about ur body to know where how to cut n where to dig.. or u'll end up removing a liver or something...
3. Drink tons of cleaning detergent n lighter fluid, then drop a lit match down ur throat
i must say this is one of the creative ones... not onli does it work but it leaves ur body lookin gr8 for the funeral since ur 3rd degree burns are on the inside...
4. Continually run into a wall head 1st till u pass out or ur head explodes
u gotta have real big stones to peform something like this... not onli will it confuse the police... if u manage to make them think someone did this to u.. ur family might get the insurance :)
5. Drill a hole into ur head
Rumour has it that there is a tiny gap of air in between ur left n right brain.. n if u drill exactly thru.. u'll experience a High like never b4.. after which u bleed to death of course...
6. Fill a bathtub with water n drop a toaster in with u inside
now this method is classic... in the old sch films n cartoons ppl always always kill themself this way.. i wonder y...? (NOTE: u can use other electrical appliances like blenders or juicers... they'll work just as well)
7. Stick a sharp pole up ur butt
u might wanna ask a fren to help u out with this.. not sure how deep it has to go.. maybe till u cant feel ur legs anymore..
8. Break a battery open and pour it into a glass of Pepsi
not onli will this fuck with ur insides... there maybe a chance u might even see the Durcell Bunny ...
9. Saw off ur own head
MAKE THOSE C.S.I GUYS WORK LIKE WHORES!!!
10. Blow every major joint n artery in ur body with a shotgun
Now this may sound painful.. but i assure u.. once tat 1st shot hits u.. ur nerves will be damaged n ur body wont feel a thing...all u need is a shotgun n a strong stomach... i give this one a Difficulty rating of 9.5/10 (kids dont try this till ur 21+)
WEll tats the top ten... other ways include...
-Jamming a toothbrush in ur belly button
-Unbend a coat hanger and slowly shove it up your nose
-Turn on the iron until water dances on surface then put it on several places on your body, keeping it in each place for at least 45 seconds
-Anger a cannibal
Hey! u can even come up with one urself!
GO CRAZY WITH THESE IDEAS!
Do it with ur friends n shock ur parents!
Just think how their faces would look when they walk into ur room to find ur insides all over the bedroom wall.
Hell.. if ur creative enough.. make the blood spell "i told u i was depressed.." when u explode!
The possiblilties are ENDLESS!
*LIABILITY NOTE: THIS NOTE ENSURES THAT I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DUMB KID WHO WONDERS INTO MY BLOG N ACTUALLY DOES THIS SHIT. PARENTS.. PLEASE LOOK AFTER UR CHILDREN. IM ALSO NOT LIABLE FOR ANY DEATHS CAUSES BY PEOPLE OR ANIMALS. PARENTIAL GUIDENCE IS A MUST!*
Fre3ze OuT!~
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9 comments:
i don't know who the hell you are or what kind of joke you think it is, but either way you've got some issues. should learn how to spell some of those words better too... starting with "tat"
omg who ever wrote this is eather sick as hell like me or fucking awesome like me so it dont matter u most b tired of ur friends saying how much their life sucks hahahah email me if u wanna hear some sick shit
what the fuck were u think when u put this up u must be smoking some seryous cocaine or somthin but u r messed up
i like it good job all i have to say is you should have done 101 wasy to do it heres one to add get some rope glue and piano wire clime to the top of a tall tree tie tie one end to the top of the tree and the other end to the piano wire tie the wire to your neak and glue your hands to the sides of your head then jump make sure the rope wont tuch the ground or be able to be seen when some one finds your body they will think you pulled your owen head off
dats a goo idda im only 13 and im goin 2 try it
i think its funny and people shouldnt be soo butt hurt about it
i think this a great site to make people laugh if they are looking up ways to kill themselves. by the way, the finger told the cow to jump right next to the barrel pull of frogs and its not funny, you fuckin whore? are you a gay stick? no im not crazy. r u? THEY ARE COMIN!!!!!!!!!
irfdgvhiuhdsabgclhjsbd!
Dude this site is so funny it makes u laugh, n u forget u want to kill urself! :D:D:D:D, well it helped me nyways!!!!! :D, i like the 1 with the blood message on the wall :D:P:D:P:D:P
this is some sick shit
bit dramatic but hay
if you've gt then go and do it
or hers one for the books
...
stick to pencils up ur nose
make sure their sharp of course
and bang your head on the table
the pencils will go straigh up
in ur brain. no blood
you cnt feel the pain and
thats a MACHO way!!!
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