i've yet to see her... the girL~
Ever more unclear does the invisible affair persist...
she's fading out with each passing day~
strange the timing for such feelings to arise..
but they were never gone in the 1st place~
the sweetness of her, like tat of puppy dogs n butterflys~
her mesmerising eyes and euphonious voice lingers in my mind..
the blush upon her cheek, the tenderness of her smile~
i want to forget her.. this vagrant pursuit must cease....
its incredible how someone can mean so much to someone else n not realise it~
she makes my world stop...
every glance into her eyes, every touch of her hand~
she makes my world stop~
My ode to the girL~ this is the last...
its best i leave this be~
no greater tragic tale told of love lost, then tat of love never found~
i wonder if she'd ever know....
i wonder of wat could have been~
Unending in my heart: the girL~
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
gibberish~
A long time ago, the warmest tree flew, inside it laid corpses of mouse traps and beer.... As time went by the shoe rings evolved... causing pillows and calculators to roam the seas of koi and hermit~
These tales have long came to pass. For every few decades, the crystal balls dance. Causing the Moon and its orange to grow penguins made of strawberries and glue~ Although the seamless night can be evaded by the falling windows, one cannot neglect the sight of a purple bear when he sees one....~
THey bring paper and stones as an offering, and place them before the fields of daffodils and fog~ Above the mountain of clocks, n beyond the rising smoke of music notes, is where it will fine its turtle shell~
With it, the ability to rewrite the names of chocolate Bars and tattooed skin~
The Dragon feels uneasy with the gloves on his wings... but he sleeps.. nonetheless~ Undisturbed by the screams of the headless butterflys~
It sleeps everlasting in the sea of eyes... never to be disturbed... never to be awake... for it is sheeps, that do the real hunting....~
(No idea wat the heLL i just wrote..? WeLL, neither do i...~)
God im bored~ -_-
Fre3ze ouT~
These tales have long came to pass. For every few decades, the crystal balls dance. Causing the Moon and its orange to grow penguins made of strawberries and glue~ Although the seamless night can be evaded by the falling windows, one cannot neglect the sight of a purple bear when he sees one....~
THey bring paper and stones as an offering, and place them before the fields of daffodils and fog~ Above the mountain of clocks, n beyond the rising smoke of music notes, is where it will fine its turtle shell~
With it, the ability to rewrite the names of chocolate Bars and tattooed skin~
The Dragon feels uneasy with the gloves on his wings... but he sleeps.. nonetheless~ Undisturbed by the screams of the headless butterflys~
It sleeps everlasting in the sea of eyes... never to be disturbed... never to be awake... for it is sheeps, that do the real hunting....~
(No idea wat the heLL i just wrote..? WeLL, neither do i...~)
God im bored~ -_-
Fre3ze ouT~
Sunday, September 03, 2006
my mom's gonna kill me~
this was'nt just some random spontaneous crazy thing i just woke up one day n said i wanna get a tattoo, i've always dreams of gettin one since i was in sec2...
it wasn't tat i was afraid of the pain, i was more afraid of the consequnces of getting one, n how gettin inked would effect me gettin a job, the discrimination ppl will show towards me...& the sufferin i would most likly have to endure in NS because of it...
i've contemplated getting one for so many years... n i was willing 2 except all those factors... all but one, which was not getting my mother's blessing...~
i hate to make her anger and disappointed.. its not a very nice feelin for a son to feel when he does something to anger his mother to the point where she starts to cry... ~
My mother is very innocent and narrow-minded in a way... she thinks anyone with a tattoo is either an ex-con or some junkie drug addict/ gangster... the very mention of me gettin one would put her in such a negative mood, then she starts to lecture me about how no one would hire me, or how ppl would pick fights with me cause of it... which, to me sounded so unlikely... still does....~
Even so, my fascination with body art far outshined her parental control over me... i wasn't a disobedinent boy, i've spent my whole life listing to my mother.. till even my friends got pissed cause if she said "no", it would mean no... i didnt even bother to put up a fight..~
i hate to disobey my mother.... which is why wat i did made me feel so guilty~ i did alot of research about tattoos and made alot of desicion-making like, where to have the tatt done so tat i can hide it... reputable tattoo parlors in sg... tattoo aftercare n stuff like tat...~
BUt i have no regrets... i am very proud of my tattoo... it was exceptionally crafted in me by a tattoo artist named Oliver from EZ Tattoos down at Far East... (if any one wants to get inked i recommend going there~) it didnt really hurt tat bad... dont really know wat the big contraversy about the pain is.. its like a 6/10 on the pain scale... if u can endure the stabbing of countless burning needles dragging across ur skin over the same spot for over an hr, u'd be alright...~
maybe when im older n have a family. i'd tattoo my wife n kid's names on my arms... for now, i think i'll be just happy with this one...
i dont think i can ever let my mom find out... she'd definatly send me to get it lasered... DEFINATELY~ My mother is VERY capable of doing something like that..
i just hope one day she realises tat a tattoo isn't ment for "AH-bengs" or used as an intimidation tool... but a form of artistic expression.. something u do to show how much u love urself~
Maybe one day she'd realise the intense investigation and groundwork i did to perfectly position the size n area of the tatt in order to get a white collar job...
as well as the picture....which isnt some word like " i love Satan " on my back... tat would just freak her out.... i even contemplated on tattooing her name just to make her not be so mad if she ever found out... but i quickly scratched tat idea...~
anyway.. to all the ppl out there hu have the same idealogy as my mother, please change ur outlook on ppl with tattoos... i know many ppl hu hold degrees hu have piercings n tattoos in places u cant even imagine... ~
i hate discrimination in every form, be it racisim, sexism ... or any form of classification tat deminors one person from another... a rich successfull business man has the same rights as a tattoo covered ex-con.... if onli ppl in this country could be more open-minded...
Friends.. n friend's of friends... n anyone hu reads this... please tell this to ur kids one day... i'd rather have my son talk to me about gettin a tattoo then to do it behind my back just because im too narrow-minded to listen to him....~
NOw for some pictures... here;s one of my back before gettin tatt, my friend shawn took it as a final commemoratory, seeing as how i'd never be "bare-backed" again...
here is the stencil of it... already looks pretty neat ~
n this was taken during the finishing of the tattoo.. blood n all still shown.. compliments of victor~
sure it may look kinda torturous, but the anticipation of it is far worst then the actual process...
Vic,shawny n eddy took videos of me n put them on Utube~ here are the links...
as u can see.. not a tear shead....~
Tattoos are becoming a fast trend... soon... in our kid's generation.. tattoos would be so common... 5 yr olds would be gettin them...
One final msg, kids stay in sch, stay off drugs... n talk to ur parents...
Parents.... FUCKING listen to ur kids...~
Fre3ze OUT~
it wasn't tat i was afraid of the pain, i was more afraid of the consequnces of getting one, n how gettin inked would effect me gettin a job, the discrimination ppl will show towards me...& the sufferin i would most likly have to endure in NS because of it...
i've contemplated getting one for so many years... n i was willing 2 except all those factors... all but one, which was not getting my mother's blessing...~
i hate to make her anger and disappointed.. its not a very nice feelin for a son to feel when he does something to anger his mother to the point where she starts to cry... ~
My mother is very innocent and narrow-minded in a way... she thinks anyone with a tattoo is either an ex-con or some junkie drug addict/ gangster... the very mention of me gettin one would put her in such a negative mood, then she starts to lecture me about how no one would hire me, or how ppl would pick fights with me cause of it... which, to me sounded so unlikely... still does....~
Even so, my fascination with body art far outshined her parental control over me... i wasn't a disobedinent boy, i've spent my whole life listing to my mother.. till even my friends got pissed cause if she said "no", it would mean no... i didnt even bother to put up a fight..~
i hate to disobey my mother.... which is why wat i did made me feel so guilty~ i did alot of research about tattoos and made alot of desicion-making like, where to have the tatt done so tat i can hide it... reputable tattoo parlors in sg... tattoo aftercare n stuff like tat...~
BUt i have no regrets... i am very proud of my tattoo... it was exceptionally crafted in me by a tattoo artist named Oliver from EZ Tattoos down at Far East... (if any one wants to get inked i recommend going there~) it didnt really hurt tat bad... dont really know wat the big contraversy about the pain is.. its like a 6/10 on the pain scale... if u can endure the stabbing of countless burning needles dragging across ur skin over the same spot for over an hr, u'd be alright...~
maybe when im older n have a family. i'd tattoo my wife n kid's names on my arms... for now, i think i'll be just happy with this one...
i dont think i can ever let my mom find out... she'd definatly send me to get it lasered... DEFINATELY~ My mother is VERY capable of doing something like that..
i just hope one day she realises tat a tattoo isn't ment for "AH-bengs" or used as an intimidation tool... but a form of artistic expression.. something u do to show how much u love urself~
Maybe one day she'd realise the intense investigation and groundwork i did to perfectly position the size n area of the tatt in order to get a white collar job...
as well as the picture....which isnt some word like " i love Satan " on my back... tat would just freak her out.... i even contemplated on tattooing her name just to make her not be so mad if she ever found out... but i quickly scratched tat idea...~
anyway.. to all the ppl out there hu have the same idealogy as my mother, please change ur outlook on ppl with tattoos... i know many ppl hu hold degrees hu have piercings n tattoos in places u cant even imagine... ~
i hate discrimination in every form, be it racisim, sexism ... or any form of classification tat deminors one person from another... a rich successfull business man has the same rights as a tattoo covered ex-con.... if onli ppl in this country could be more open-minded...
Friends.. n friend's of friends... n anyone hu reads this... please tell this to ur kids one day... i'd rather have my son talk to me about gettin a tattoo then to do it behind my back just because im too narrow-minded to listen to him....~
NOw for some pictures... here;s one of my back before gettin tatt, my friend shawn took it as a final commemoratory, seeing as how i'd never be "bare-backed" again...
here is the stencil of it... already looks pretty neat ~
n this was taken during the finishing of the tattoo.. blood n all still shown.. compliments of victor~
sure it may look kinda torturous, but the anticipation of it is far worst then the actual process...
Vic,shawny n eddy took videos of me n put them on Utube~ here are the links...
as u can see.. not a tear shead....~
Tattoos are becoming a fast trend... soon... in our kid's generation.. tattoos would be so common... 5 yr olds would be gettin them...
One final msg, kids stay in sch, stay off drugs... n talk to ur parents...
Parents.... FUCKING listen to ur kids...~
Fre3ze OUT~
Monday, August 28, 2006
body art~
There are 2 kinds of people in this world... those who have tattoos, and those who are afraid of people with tattoos~ A tattoo attracts and also repels simply because it is different...
it's often associated with gang members and street thugs or Satanic cults when it is just a form of expressing one's self thru arT~ Many people cant understand why one would expose themselves to the "torture" of tattooing, so they simple consider them as symbols of disgrace~
Is a tattoo painful... sure it is.. but the beauty of it and the pride associated with wearing it far outweighs a little pin-stick here and there. BEsides...it cant possibly hurt TAT bad... other wise ppl wont keep going back to get new ones~
The tattoos come in the form of butterflies, flowers and hearts. In Iraq, tattoos are told to make women more beautiful. Its simply how the society sees it... A form of arT~, or a walking Freak SHow....
Though the tattoo may only be skin deep, its significance can run as deep as the soul.. it is a true poetic creation, and is always more than meets the eye...
A tattoo's a piece of art you will wear for life, an identity that is indefinatly you~ its about personalizing the body, making it a true home for the spirit that dwells within....
A Tattoo is cooL and exotic, its the ultimate way to show how much u love yrself, or someone else...
and im gonna get one~ :)
it's often associated with gang members and street thugs or Satanic cults when it is just a form of expressing one's self thru arT~ Many people cant understand why one would expose themselves to the "torture" of tattooing, so they simple consider them as symbols of disgrace~
Is a tattoo painful... sure it is.. but the beauty of it and the pride associated with wearing it far outweighs a little pin-stick here and there. BEsides...it cant possibly hurt TAT bad... other wise ppl wont keep going back to get new ones~
The tattoos come in the form of butterflies, flowers and hearts. In Iraq, tattoos are told to make women more beautiful. Its simply how the society sees it... A form of arT~, or a walking Freak SHow....
Though the tattoo may only be skin deep, its significance can run as deep as the soul.. it is a true poetic creation, and is always more than meets the eye...
A tattoo's a piece of art you will wear for life, an identity that is indefinatly you~ its about personalizing the body, making it a true home for the spirit that dwells within....
A Tattoo is cooL and exotic, its the ultimate way to show how much u love yrself, or someone else...
and im gonna get one~ :)
Thursday, August 10, 2006
insomia~
its 3.35 am ...
and i cant sleep~
Apparently, i haven't been able to fall asleep much less, remain alseep for the pass few weeks... this has happened b4 a couple of times in the past, but this time its different.. i feel ... awake at night.. literally... in the past i felt tired..it was just tat i couldn't get to sleep.. but if i managed to, i would usually sleep right thru the night..
But these few weeks...
i feel awake when i try to sleep... n awake when i wake up again at odd hrs of the morning~
At 1st, i thought it would pass... tat its just a phase of being restless... and that in time... things would eventually go back to normal.. but upon thinkin back now, i realised that this has been going on for quite sometime now.. weeks on end... of sleepless nights and narcoleptic afternoons... day after agonizing day.. i didnt realise how long it was going on till now...
its been going on for so long now... and it's really bothering me.. maybe i should go see a doctor soon, hopefully he could drug me up real gd n things would go back to normal.. ~
i've tired all sorts of methods to try n sleep... from drinkin a warm class of milk at night.. to ... sniffin an onion and even counting sheep, which btw is a load of crap... attempting to count an infinity of rampaging sheep that leap over a fence does NOT put u to sleep.. but would in fact make u even more awake then b4~
i've even tired drinkin myself to sleep... usually i can feel tired enough after a while by drinkin just one can of Beer~ but the effects dont last very long... n it even gives u tat grogy feeling in ur stomach when u wake up.. which ... since u didnt even get enough sleep frm the night b4, is really Uncool~
I've considered other factors which contribute to me unable to catch some Zzz~
My room for one thing, isn't that well ventilated. My mother, hu btw is the most Paranoid person in the World, thinks that if i so much as leave my top window luver open, some Criminal Master Mind would manage to contort his body thru my 15cm by 50cm window and steal my oh so vaulable Dinosaur Figurines, which can onli be sold to a crazy person willing enough to want my shit in exchange for a half bitten tic-tac~
Sure maybe some punk kid hu's got nothing to do at 3 in the morning would wanna throw a lit match in thru the window.... n my room is HIGHLY FLAMABLE. I have got posters lineing every inch of my rm n clothes which litter the floor like a carpet so yes it is a fire harzard n i would probably be the 1st one to die.. but wat chance would it be tat any of this would happen... in this country for that matter..
I also have a Immature and self-centered elder sister hu decides to watch 'Boston LEgal' on the VCR at 4 in the morning with the VoL. turned up.... i cant complain to my father since i dont really regard him as a member of this household, and i dont want to wake my mother and mess up her peaceful sleep... so.. i decide to just get up... n now i cant go back to sleep...~
so here i am, talking of counting sheep & how flameable my room is... at 3.54 am on a sch night... i think i'll go to the doctor's tomoro n get some sleepin pills...
i dont even know if they prescribe it~
i need some sleep.... i really do... so next time if u see me in sch in the morning n i have this "dont fuck with me today, i didnt get enough sleep last night" look.. dont take it personally.. i just didn't get enough sleep last night... n would appreciate it if u'd all FUCK oFF till noon~
cheers~
and i cant sleep~
Apparently, i haven't been able to fall asleep much less, remain alseep for the pass few weeks... this has happened b4 a couple of times in the past, but this time its different.. i feel ... awake at night.. literally... in the past i felt tired..it was just tat i couldn't get to sleep.. but if i managed to, i would usually sleep right thru the night..
But these few weeks...
i feel awake when i try to sleep... n awake when i wake up again at odd hrs of the morning~
At 1st, i thought it would pass... tat its just a phase of being restless... and that in time... things would eventually go back to normal.. but upon thinkin back now, i realised that this has been going on for quite sometime now.. weeks on end... of sleepless nights and narcoleptic afternoons... day after agonizing day.. i didnt realise how long it was going on till now...
its been going on for so long now... and it's really bothering me.. maybe i should go see a doctor soon, hopefully he could drug me up real gd n things would go back to normal.. ~
i've tired all sorts of methods to try n sleep... from drinkin a warm class of milk at night.. to ... sniffin an onion and even counting sheep, which btw is a load of crap... attempting to count an infinity of rampaging sheep that leap over a fence does NOT put u to sleep.. but would in fact make u even more awake then b4~
i've even tired drinkin myself to sleep... usually i can feel tired enough after a while by drinkin just one can of Beer~ but the effects dont last very long... n it even gives u tat grogy feeling in ur stomach when u wake up.. which ... since u didnt even get enough sleep frm the night b4, is really Uncool~
I've considered other factors which contribute to me unable to catch some Zzz~
My room for one thing, isn't that well ventilated. My mother, hu btw is the most Paranoid person in the World, thinks that if i so much as leave my top window luver open, some Criminal Master Mind would manage to contort his body thru my 15cm by 50cm window and steal my oh so vaulable Dinosaur Figurines, which can onli be sold to a crazy person willing enough to want my shit in exchange for a half bitten tic-tac~
Sure maybe some punk kid hu's got nothing to do at 3 in the morning would wanna throw a lit match in thru the window.... n my room is HIGHLY FLAMABLE. I have got posters lineing every inch of my rm n clothes which litter the floor like a carpet so yes it is a fire harzard n i would probably be the 1st one to die.. but wat chance would it be tat any of this would happen... in this country for that matter..
I also have a Immature and self-centered elder sister hu decides to watch 'Boston LEgal' on the VCR at 4 in the morning with the VoL. turned up.... i cant complain to my father since i dont really regard him as a member of this household, and i dont want to wake my mother and mess up her peaceful sleep... so.. i decide to just get up... n now i cant go back to sleep...~
so here i am, talking of counting sheep & how flameable my room is... at 3.54 am on a sch night... i think i'll go to the doctor's tomoro n get some sleepin pills...
i dont even know if they prescribe it~
i need some sleep.... i really do... so next time if u see me in sch in the morning n i have this "dont fuck with me today, i didnt get enough sleep last night" look.. dont take it personally.. i just didn't get enough sleep last night... n would appreciate it if u'd all FUCK oFF till noon~
cheers~
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
thank you for smoking~
i have decided to quit smoking once n for all...
it was to be my birthday gift to myself~
2 days before my day of days i bought my last pack of Marlboro Reds and smoked every stick with the up most indulgence... savouring every breath...
i played with the smoke as it drifted out of my mouth... moving my lips to alter the flow... it made patterns in the air.. rings of smoke floated playfully in the wind-less enclosure of my room...
i liked smoking... it wasn't just a habit..it was a place to go.... Where I could just shut out the rest of the world and find a little bit of time, and peace for myself.... Just a little bit~
Till now, i dont even know why im quiting.... sure smoking kills u.. but idunwannaliveforever~ i had no reason at all, that appealed to me, to quit~ when i reached my last stick, i couldn't bring myself to finish the last one.... i didnt want it to end... had no reason to...~
In fact, it would actually help me more if i continued~
But this morning ... i lit the last one up anyway... i figured, things can happen for no reason... i had no reason to quit, i had no one to quit for, i did not fear the consequences of not quiting... but i did it anyway, for no reason~
Its been 2 days since i've stopped.. my head hurts every now & then, and i feel real grouchy everytime i wake up... all of which i think i'll be able to overcome sooner or later~
i sit at the non-smokin area everytime i go to starbucks now... is a pretty cool change i guess... but i dont know how long this will last... i keep adding reasons to make me start smoking again... but i've got none to make me stop...
oh well...
i'll think of one sooner or later~
it was to be my birthday gift to myself~
2 days before my day of days i bought my last pack of Marlboro Reds and smoked every stick with the up most indulgence... savouring every breath...
i played with the smoke as it drifted out of my mouth... moving my lips to alter the flow... it made patterns in the air.. rings of smoke floated playfully in the wind-less enclosure of my room...
i liked smoking... it wasn't just a habit..it was a place to go.... Where I could just shut out the rest of the world and find a little bit of time, and peace for myself.... Just a little bit~
Till now, i dont even know why im quiting.... sure smoking kills u.. but idunwannaliveforever~ i had no reason at all, that appealed to me, to quit~ when i reached my last stick, i couldn't bring myself to finish the last one.... i didnt want it to end... had no reason to...~
In fact, it would actually help me more if i continued~
But this morning ... i lit the last one up anyway... i figured, things can happen for no reason... i had no reason to quit, i had no one to quit for, i did not fear the consequences of not quiting... but i did it anyway, for no reason~
Its been 2 days since i've stopped.. my head hurts every now & then, and i feel real grouchy everytime i wake up... all of which i think i'll be able to overcome sooner or later~
i sit at the non-smokin area everytime i go to starbucks now... is a pretty cool change i guess... but i dont know how long this will last... i keep adding reasons to make me start smoking again... but i've got none to make me stop...
oh well...
i'll think of one sooner or later~
Saturday, July 15, 2006
today's a good day~
the sun is burning down like a bitch .. there are no birds singing.. there are no flowers blooming..
I have tons of stuff to do and so little time... i've got to study for sch and complete my assignments.. my room is a mess.. there isnt anything good on TV...
My friends have all got plans... my family are all not home...
But...
today's a good day~
Upon waking up this morning, i could sense it already... everything looked the same but everything was so different...
the air felt fresher... the sky looked blue-er... but this day was the same as every other day... except today.. i was lookin at it from a different prespective...
Today i wake up feeling glad and happy...for no reason wat so ever i felt opimistic..~
All my worries.. and all my doubts have been answers on this day... i feel as if my eyes have been opened... as if i was enlightened... it was like a storm had been lifted and i could see the sun shine again...
Just for today... i've decided to be nice... to be kinder... to be generous..
just for today, i want to be opitmistic and not be let down...
Just for today.. i will not frown.. i will not be sad.. i will not complain..
Everything today is perfect in its own imperfection... everything i eat will taste gr8 ... everyone i meet will be friendly... everything i do, will be done with passion~
These words may all sound really Gay~ but i dont care...
for today is a good day~
and it is comforting knowing it's going to last....~
I have tons of stuff to do and so little time... i've got to study for sch and complete my assignments.. my room is a mess.. there isnt anything good on TV...
My friends have all got plans... my family are all not home...
But...
today's a good day~
Upon waking up this morning, i could sense it already... everything looked the same but everything was so different...
the air felt fresher... the sky looked blue-er... but this day was the same as every other day... except today.. i was lookin at it from a different prespective...
Today i wake up feeling glad and happy...for no reason wat so ever i felt opimistic..~
All my worries.. and all my doubts have been answers on this day... i feel as if my eyes have been opened... as if i was enlightened... it was like a storm had been lifted and i could see the sun shine again...
Just for today... i've decided to be nice... to be kinder... to be generous..
just for today, i want to be opitmistic and not be let down...
Just for today.. i will not frown.. i will not be sad.. i will not complain..
Everything today is perfect in its own imperfection... everything i eat will taste gr8 ... everyone i meet will be friendly... everything i do, will be done with passion~
These words may all sound really Gay~ but i dont care...
for today is a good day~
and it is comforting knowing it's going to last....~
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
incubus~
the time now is about 4:15 am in the morning...
i had just had the most insane nightmare.... i've had insane nightmares before.. but, it's been a while since i had one this intense....
i mean.. seriously.. i'm shaking right now... it has to be a significant nightmare to make me wake up at 4 in the morning on a sch night just to write this shit...
im trying to think happy thoughts.. but i realised i dont have any... & since im tryin to quit smokin... cant do tat either... im not religous so cant pray... tried meditating, but tats just lame... So, i've decided to write a little... calms me down... n allows me to get some few things off my chest...~
Let me start frm the beginning... b4 i slept today.. i spent a gd clean hr tossin n turnin.. some times just sittin up n starin my 4 walls cause i couldn't sleep.. there was alot going on in my mind, stuff i would not like to share with u all... but the stuff was real actual event happenin in my Life currently and it was.. i guess ... messing my sleep up...
Anyway, i've been researchin on nightmares a couple of min ago n it says that ( i quote..) "Evil thoughts are actually material things manifested by us. In other words by believing in raw evil you can actually create it. " -Edgar Cayce
also.. tat ( i quote again..) "Nightmares can also signify deeply rooted psychological problems. Individuals suffering from these forms of post traumatic stress disorder is common for them to be haunted by nightmares as they relive the traumatic event. "
It also says i should seek counselling... hmm maybe im going crazy... or maybe i just dont talk about my problems to ppl... ~
Ah well... i'll get over it eventually.. life goes on~
But i have never felt this scared n alive at the same time... it was truly an adrenaline rush... however.. it's also one tat has left me breathing heavily by my bedside.. a tramatic event.. if u wiLL~
Now... i bet u all wanna know.. wat is this dream i had thats makin me write at 4 in the morning just to calm myself down...
Well, like all dreams .. i cant really remember much after wakin up.. but here it goes anyway...
It kinda starts like right away... im running to a destination.. or im being chases thru out this whole dream.. till now i cant really tell which is it.. running or running away.. i think is a bit of both though...
Anyway.. like i said.. im runnin(or being chased) n im like runnin thru these buildings .. hopin thru the windows n jumpin down stairs in a mad dash to whereever im suppose to go( or run away frm...)
I'm with a couple of ppl.. n we're all running.. i breakin into house to take short cuts... lots of tat... i remember feelin afraid tat the owners would come back n find us.. or if they were already in the house, find us n catch us....
All these houses tat i'm eligibly breakin into are all mansions with lots of sofas n cusions cause i remember falling alot n having those break my fall...
The last part of the dream was .. i was exiting this mansion house thing n the owners came back.. they were in a car they knocked me over with it.. i got flung onto the hood n they were like tryin to grab thru the windows of the car.. then i got off n ran towards this gate.. but there was another car.. n it blocked my way.. so i was trapped.. then all these "owners" came out of their cars n started chasin me....
ok.. so it wasnt about man-eating monsters or serial killers... its just some lame dream of being chases... but it was scary.. n it really creeped me out man... didnt want to wake my family members up.. n i couldnt call anyone at 4 in the morning to talk.. so tat extra feelin of loneliness n havin no one to talk to really sucks...
i dont know wat to do now... do i go back to sleep... do i just watch tv & wait till sch starts... i doubt i'll have another nightmare.. they never occur twice in a night...
I know a NIghtmare is'nt reaL.. i know.. tat its just ur sub-concious mind playin tricks on u .... a Nightmare has nothin to do with Satanism or EviL... nor ghosts or monsters... its simply just a movie tat plays in ur head when u sleep...~
But stiLL....
tat was one heLL of a Nightmare...~
i had just had the most insane nightmare.... i've had insane nightmares before.. but, it's been a while since i had one this intense....
i mean.. seriously.. i'm shaking right now... it has to be a significant nightmare to make me wake up at 4 in the morning on a sch night just to write this shit...
im trying to think happy thoughts.. but i realised i dont have any... & since im tryin to quit smokin... cant do tat either... im not religous so cant pray... tried meditating, but tats just lame... So, i've decided to write a little... calms me down... n allows me to get some few things off my chest...~
Let me start frm the beginning... b4 i slept today.. i spent a gd clean hr tossin n turnin.. some times just sittin up n starin my 4 walls cause i couldn't sleep.. there was alot going on in my mind, stuff i would not like to share with u all... but the stuff was real actual event happenin in my Life currently and it was.. i guess ... messing my sleep up...
Anyway, i've been researchin on nightmares a couple of min ago n it says that ( i quote..) "Evil thoughts are actually material things manifested by us. In other words by believing in raw evil you can actually create it. " -Edgar Cayce
also.. tat ( i quote again..) "Nightmares can also signify deeply rooted psychological problems. Individuals suffering from these forms of post traumatic stress disorder is common for them to be haunted by nightmares as they relive the traumatic event. "
It also says i should seek counselling... hmm maybe im going crazy... or maybe i just dont talk about my problems to ppl... ~
Ah well... i'll get over it eventually.. life goes on~
But i have never felt this scared n alive at the same time... it was truly an adrenaline rush... however.. it's also one tat has left me breathing heavily by my bedside.. a tramatic event.. if u wiLL~
Now... i bet u all wanna know.. wat is this dream i had thats makin me write at 4 in the morning just to calm myself down...
Well, like all dreams .. i cant really remember much after wakin up.. but here it goes anyway...
It kinda starts like right away... im running to a destination.. or im being chases thru out this whole dream.. till now i cant really tell which is it.. running or running away.. i think is a bit of both though...
Anyway.. like i said.. im runnin(or being chased) n im like runnin thru these buildings .. hopin thru the windows n jumpin down stairs in a mad dash to whereever im suppose to go( or run away frm...)
I'm with a couple of ppl.. n we're all running.. i breakin into house to take short cuts... lots of tat... i remember feelin afraid tat the owners would come back n find us.. or if they were already in the house, find us n catch us....
All these houses tat i'm eligibly breakin into are all mansions with lots of sofas n cusions cause i remember falling alot n having those break my fall...
The last part of the dream was .. i was exiting this mansion house thing n the owners came back.. they were in a car they knocked me over with it.. i got flung onto the hood n they were like tryin to grab thru the windows of the car.. then i got off n ran towards this gate.. but there was another car.. n it blocked my way.. so i was trapped.. then all these "owners" came out of their cars n started chasin me....
ok.. so it wasnt about man-eating monsters or serial killers... its just some lame dream of being chases... but it was scary.. n it really creeped me out man... didnt want to wake my family members up.. n i couldnt call anyone at 4 in the morning to talk.. so tat extra feelin of loneliness n havin no one to talk to really sucks...
i dont know wat to do now... do i go back to sleep... do i just watch tv & wait till sch starts... i doubt i'll have another nightmare.. they never occur twice in a night...
I know a NIghtmare is'nt reaL.. i know.. tat its just ur sub-concious mind playin tricks on u .... a Nightmare has nothin to do with Satanism or EviL... nor ghosts or monsters... its simply just a movie tat plays in ur head when u sleep...~
But stiLL....
tat was one heLL of a Nightmare...~
Monday, July 10, 2006
i hate mondays~
i hate mondays n all things tat falls on a monday or anything tat happens on a monday...
Monday's r a bitch~
the minute we wake up on a monday there's just this aura of shear contemn & disrelish towards the rest of the day.... its something no one can explain or figure out.. A monday radiates a sense of self-loathing n utter discontent upon u and affects everything u do...
its effects are contagious n is easily transmitted to another like a virus of depression... every frown u see... every shoe sole u hear draggin across the concreate floor.. is a sign tat Monday is here...~
i've tried... really i have.. to not HATE mondays... i try thinkin happy thoughts n
to look on the bright side of all the Shit tat this oh so wicked day has brough upon me... but it was futile... the curse of Monday is far to Sinister to be tainted by my actions...~
And so.. we continue to live a life of heLL.. once in every week... for 24-hrs..
We dread it on sunday nights... we relinquish when it passes... week after week... mth after mth...
i will always hate mondays... Mondays will always hate me... so i say this to u ... oh Malevolent Master of Mondays~
FuuuuuuCK yoU~
Fre3ze out~
Monday's r a bitch~
the minute we wake up on a monday there's just this aura of shear contemn & disrelish towards the rest of the day.... its something no one can explain or figure out.. A monday radiates a sense of self-loathing n utter discontent upon u and affects everything u do...
its effects are contagious n is easily transmitted to another like a virus of depression... every frown u see... every shoe sole u hear draggin across the concreate floor.. is a sign tat Monday is here...~
i've tried... really i have.. to not HATE mondays... i try thinkin happy thoughts n
to look on the bright side of all the Shit tat this oh so wicked day has brough upon me... but it was futile... the curse of Monday is far to Sinister to be tainted by my actions...~
And so.. we continue to live a life of heLL.. once in every week... for 24-hrs..
We dread it on sunday nights... we relinquish when it passes... week after week... mth after mth...
i will always hate mondays... Mondays will always hate me... so i say this to u ... oh Malevolent Master of Mondays~
FuuuuuuCK yoU~
Fre3ze out~
Thursday, July 06, 2006
i hate waiting~
i hate waiting....~
How much of human life is lost in waiting.....
Be it waiting in line at the MaLL.. or for a movie to start... or even waiting for someone to call or to reply...
Waiting is a Trap... there will always be a reason to wait...
Sometimes its never worth the wait... but still... we wait.....~
i hate waiting...~
Waiting is painful... it takes u to a place of isolation & loneliness...
In that short period of time spent waiting.. for watever reason it maybe..... ur transported to a different world.....
In this world... time moves ever so slow... ur mind starts to wander... u start to think of the future.. & the past... u think of wat could have been.. n wat had become...
In this Realm of Waiting... u feel insecure... ur mind begs for an objective.. but u cant give it one... u cant.... u stare intensively at everything... but nothin catches ur eye... u cant focus in this world... cant concentrate... waiting does tat to u...
i hate waiting...~
the events tat happen in our lives happen in a sequence in time, half of which we spend our lives trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save....
life is short... we're all basically just waiting to die~
I didn't know wat the full dimensions of forever is, but given tat time.. i wouldn't waste i second of it waiting..
i hate to wait... everyone does... but we cant stop... its nesesary in our everyday life... So here we sit... hopeing.... wishing... & waiting... for watever reason we choose to wait for...
and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it~
How much of human life is lost in waiting.....
Be it waiting in line at the MaLL.. or for a movie to start... or even waiting for someone to call or to reply...
Waiting is a Trap... there will always be a reason to wait...
Sometimes its never worth the wait... but still... we wait.....~
i hate waiting...~
Waiting is painful... it takes u to a place of isolation & loneliness...
In that short period of time spent waiting.. for watever reason it maybe..... ur transported to a different world.....
In this world... time moves ever so slow... ur mind starts to wander... u start to think of the future.. & the past... u think of wat could have been.. n wat had become...
In this Realm of Waiting... u feel insecure... ur mind begs for an objective.. but u cant give it one... u cant.... u stare intensively at everything... but nothin catches ur eye... u cant focus in this world... cant concentrate... waiting does tat to u...
i hate waiting...~
the events tat happen in our lives happen in a sequence in time, half of which we spend our lives trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save....
life is short... we're all basically just waiting to die~
I didn't know wat the full dimensions of forever is, but given tat time.. i wouldn't waste i second of it waiting..
i hate to wait... everyone does... but we cant stop... its nesesary in our everyday life... So here we sit... hopeing.... wishing... & waiting... for watever reason we choose to wait for...
and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it~
Thursday, June 29, 2006
le demoiselle deux ( the girL part 2~ )
i cant seem to find her..... the girL~
i find myself constantly walking around aimlessly in search for her...
but never find her~
i regret never taking the opportunity to get to know her more back then....
We would exchange secret glances during class.. no one knowing but us...
yet i never pursuded the attraction...~
Now with her missing... my whole world seems depopulated....~
Every girl i see reminds me of her...
Every where i go, i hoped she'd show up..
Her image was burnt in my mind....
i could never stop thinkin of her~
i could'nt sleep.. i could'nt concentrate...
During lessons i would think of her... During lunch breaks her beauty interupted my mind~
Even in my sleep she haunted my dreams...
It was drivin me insane... ~
her absence was worse than death...
i longed for a reunion with her...... be it a 10 sec "hello~" or just a glace frm her alluring eyes would suffice...
I barely know her... n she barely knows me...
but the attraction was unimaginable..
to miss someone so much...who's last name u dont know... tells u just how instense
the invisible chemistry was....~
Slowly ( & painfully..) do the lone hours fly as i wait to see her again...
What shall I do with all these days and hours...
Her image keeps coming back to me in my head... tormenting me with the excruciating feeling of aphrodisia & lust~
As time goes by, i fear of unremembering her...
Absence diminishes little passions and increases greater ones~
with each passing day... i wish n pray for an opportunity to see her.. to hear her speak.. to feel her touch...~
with each passing day.... i grow more & more desolated...~
this one girL, whom i barely know n hu barely knows me is wat keeps me going... she's wat i think of when im sad... she's wat i hope for when im lonely...~
this one girL, who's last name i do not know... is wat makes me wake up in the
morning & wat torments me at night...~
i wonder if i'd ever find her...
i wonder if she'd ever find me...
Forever in my mind: the girL~
i find myself constantly walking around aimlessly in search for her...
but never find her~
i regret never taking the opportunity to get to know her more back then....
We would exchange secret glances during class.. no one knowing but us...
yet i never pursuded the attraction...~
Now with her missing... my whole world seems depopulated....~
Every girl i see reminds me of her...
Every where i go, i hoped she'd show up..
Her image was burnt in my mind....
i could never stop thinkin of her~
i could'nt sleep.. i could'nt concentrate...
During lessons i would think of her... During lunch breaks her beauty interupted my mind~
Even in my sleep she haunted my dreams...
It was drivin me insane... ~
her absence was worse than death...
i longed for a reunion with her...... be it a 10 sec "hello~" or just a glace frm her alluring eyes would suffice...
I barely know her... n she barely knows me...
but the attraction was unimaginable..
to miss someone so much...who's last name u dont know... tells u just how instense
the invisible chemistry was....~
Slowly ( & painfully..) do the lone hours fly as i wait to see her again...
What shall I do with all these days and hours...
Her image keeps coming back to me in my head... tormenting me with the excruciating feeling of aphrodisia & lust~
As time goes by, i fear of unremembering her...
Absence diminishes little passions and increases greater ones~
with each passing day... i wish n pray for an opportunity to see her.. to hear her speak.. to feel her touch...~
with each passing day.... i grow more & more desolated...~
this one girL, whom i barely know n hu barely knows me is wat keeps me going... she's wat i think of when im sad... she's wat i hope for when im lonely...~
this one girL, who's last name i do not know... is wat makes me wake up in the
morning & wat torments me at night...~
i wonder if i'd ever find her...
i wonder if she'd ever find me...
Forever in my mind: the girL~
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
the babies~
A few years back all the Animals went away~
We woke up one morning n they were all just gone....
They didnt leave a note, they didnt say goodbye...
We never figured out wat quite happened to them.. or where they all had gone...
We missed them~
Some off us thought the world had ended, but it hadn't...
There just weren't any animals left~
No more Dogs or Whales.. No more fishes in the Sea .. No more Birds in the sky...
We were all alone~
We didnt know wat to do.. we wandered around lost, for a time, & then someone pointed out tat just because we didnt have animals anymore, it was no reason to change our lives... There was no reason to change our diets or cease testing products that might cause us harm...
After all, there were still Babies~
Babies cant talk. They can hardly move. A baby is not a rational, thinkin creature.
We made Babies....& we used them....
Some of them we ate...
Baby flesh is tender & succulent~
We flayed their skin& decorated ourselves in it....
Baby leather is soft & comfortable~
Some of them we tested on....
We taped their eyes, dripped detergents & shampoos in, a drop at a time.
We scarred tem & scalded them. we burnt them. We grafted & we Froze, & We irradiated..
The Babies breathed our smoke & the babies' veins flowed with our medicines & drugs, until they stopped breathing or until their bloods ceased to flow.
It was hard, of course, but it was nessary...
No one could deny tat~
With the animals gone... what else could we do?
Then one day all the Babies were gone...~
We didnt know where they went... we didnt even see them go~
We dont know wat we're going to do without them... But we'll think of something..
Humans are smart..
Its wat seperates us from the animals & the babies...
We'll Figure something out~
(Neil Gaiman- Babycakes)
We woke up one morning n they were all just gone....
They didnt leave a note, they didnt say goodbye...
We never figured out wat quite happened to them.. or where they all had gone...
We missed them~
Some off us thought the world had ended, but it hadn't...
There just weren't any animals left~
No more Dogs or Whales.. No more fishes in the Sea .. No more Birds in the sky...
We were all alone~
We didnt know wat to do.. we wandered around lost, for a time, & then someone pointed out tat just because we didnt have animals anymore, it was no reason to change our lives... There was no reason to change our diets or cease testing products that might cause us harm...
After all, there were still Babies~
Babies cant talk. They can hardly move. A baby is not a rational, thinkin creature.
We made Babies....& we used them....
Some of them we ate...
Baby flesh is tender & succulent~
We flayed their skin& decorated ourselves in it....
Baby leather is soft & comfortable~
Some of them we tested on....
We taped their eyes, dripped detergents & shampoos in, a drop at a time.
We scarred tem & scalded them. we burnt them. We grafted & we Froze, & We irradiated..
The Babies breathed our smoke & the babies' veins flowed with our medicines & drugs, until they stopped breathing or until their bloods ceased to flow.
It was hard, of course, but it was nessary...
No one could deny tat~
With the animals gone... what else could we do?
Then one day all the Babies were gone...~
We didnt know where they went... we didnt even see them go~
We dont know wat we're going to do without them... But we'll think of something..
Humans are smart..
Its wat seperates us from the animals & the babies...
We'll Figure something out~
(Neil Gaiman- Babycakes)
Angelology 101~
To be fair for both sides, i've decided to shed some insight into the Angelology....
The Study Of Angels~
Angels....ethereal beings that generally carry out the WiLL of God... Messengers of GOd.. if u will~
These things are said to usually appear as Humans with Bird-Like Wings or Glowing entities like a wisp from Warcraft3 ...
Accordin to the Bible... these Beings of Light have intellegence, emotion & WiLL..
This works for both Good & EviL Angels.. ~
Angels are created by God to observe the Human race.. they have gr8 knowledge in everything beacuse they live Long enough to experience them.... also Angels are neither male nor female.. their "Sexless".. i mean.. do angels really need gender?
Like HeLL, Heaven too has 7 lvls... each ruled by a particular Demon/Angel..
The First Heaven: Shamayim~
This is the lowest lvl of the Heavens n is closest to Earth.. Its Ruled by the Archangel Gabriel.
This heaven consists of Clouds, Wind & Water... its home to a hundred over "Astronomer Angels" hu keep watch over the stars...~
The Second Heaven: Raquia~
This Heaven is ruled by the Archangels Raphael & Zachariel... this heaven is said to be where the Fallen Angels are imprisoned while waitin for their Final Judgement...
The Third Heaven: Sagun~
Sagun is ruled over by the Archangel Anahel and three other subordinate: Jagniel, Rabacyel, and Dalquiel... it is the residence for the Archangel Azrael, the Islamic Angel of death.
Accordin to wat the research says.. the NOrthern Part of this place is where HeLL resides... ( dont ask me y.. religion is confusing~ ) it is where the wicked are punished by the Angels...
The Southern Boarders of this Heaven is a Beautiful Paradise thought to be the Garden of Eden, where the souls of the righteous will come after Death~
This is also where the "Tree Of Life" can be found...
This place is where all the perfect souls go when they die & is guarded by 300 over Angels of Light..
The Fourth Heaven: Machanon~
Ruled by the Archangel Michael... this is where the Garden of Eden was Originally housed.. not the 3rd... THis place filled with Temples n Alters.. it is said to house the City Of Christ...
The Fifth Heaven: Mathey~
The Home of God, Aaron & the Avenging Angels~
The Southern Regions is where God can be found while the NOrthern parts are ruled by Archangel Samael...
The Sixth Heaven: Zebul~
Ruled by Archangel Zachiel & his subordinate Prince Zebul (in the day) & Prince Sabath (at night)... This icy snowstorm land is where 7 Phoenixes & 7 Cherubim (watever the hell tat is~) live....
Other Angels live here as well~
The Seventh Heaven: Araboth~
THe 7th Heaven is the most Holiest place of all the other heavens. Araboth is ruled by Archangel Cassiel and is home to God and his Divine Throne.. it is also the place where human souls are waitin to be born~ ( Groovy.. it a soul factory~)
It is also home to the highest Order of Angels: The Seraphim, Cherubim, (so tats wat it is...) and Thrones.
WEll.... at least u know wat button to press on the lift when u die...~
UNless u go to heLL tat is... ~
I'd like to end of this HIstory Lesson to say tat i am not Satanic or Extremly Religious.. i just thought it'd be cool to show ppl how fukin Stupid all this shit is... n how impossible n (in some cases) completely Retarded the whole Angel n Devil & God & Life & Death Conspiricy is...
With so many Different religions in the world.. n so many different versions of God.. of course there's gonna be conflict n shit~
This is y i dont like god (if he/she were real).... because ppl have Died for so many reason in the name of Religion...
Just look at NOrthern Ireland, World War 2, the Crusades & 911...
u think God wants us to kill each other ?!
OPEN UR EYES U MOTHERFUCKIN FACIST!!!
So....
My advice to religion is...
u dont have to believe it (like me~)...
but at least Respect it~
The world would be a better place if there wasnt any idea of GOd in the 1st place..
but hey...
thats just me~
xxx
The Study Of Angels~
Angels....ethereal beings that generally carry out the WiLL of God... Messengers of GOd.. if u will~
These things are said to usually appear as Humans with Bird-Like Wings or Glowing entities like a wisp from Warcraft3 ...
Accordin to the Bible... these Beings of Light have intellegence, emotion & WiLL..
This works for both Good & EviL Angels.. ~
Angels are created by God to observe the Human race.. they have gr8 knowledge in everything beacuse they live Long enough to experience them.... also Angels are neither male nor female.. their "Sexless".. i mean.. do angels really need gender?
Like HeLL, Heaven too has 7 lvls... each ruled by a particular Demon/Angel..
The First Heaven: Shamayim~
This is the lowest lvl of the Heavens n is closest to Earth.. Its Ruled by the Archangel Gabriel.
This heaven consists of Clouds, Wind & Water... its home to a hundred over "Astronomer Angels" hu keep watch over the stars...~
The Second Heaven: Raquia~
This Heaven is ruled by the Archangels Raphael & Zachariel... this heaven is said to be where the Fallen Angels are imprisoned while waitin for their Final Judgement...
The Third Heaven: Sagun~
Sagun is ruled over by the Archangel Anahel and three other subordinate: Jagniel, Rabacyel, and Dalquiel... it is the residence for the Archangel Azrael, the Islamic Angel of death.
Accordin to wat the research says.. the NOrthern Part of this place is where HeLL resides... ( dont ask me y.. religion is confusing~ ) it is where the wicked are punished by the Angels...
The Southern Boarders of this Heaven is a Beautiful Paradise thought to be the Garden of Eden, where the souls of the righteous will come after Death~
This is also where the "Tree Of Life" can be found...
This place is where all the perfect souls go when they die & is guarded by 300 over Angels of Light..
The Fourth Heaven: Machanon~
Ruled by the Archangel Michael... this is where the Garden of Eden was Originally housed.. not the 3rd... THis place filled with Temples n Alters.. it is said to house the City Of Christ...
The Fifth Heaven: Mathey~
The Home of God, Aaron & the Avenging Angels~
The Southern Regions is where God can be found while the NOrthern parts are ruled by Archangel Samael...
The Sixth Heaven: Zebul~
Ruled by Archangel Zachiel & his subordinate Prince Zebul (in the day) & Prince Sabath (at night)... This icy snowstorm land is where 7 Phoenixes & 7 Cherubim (watever the hell tat is~) live....
Other Angels live here as well~
The Seventh Heaven: Araboth~
THe 7th Heaven is the most Holiest place of all the other heavens. Araboth is ruled by Archangel Cassiel and is home to God and his Divine Throne.. it is also the place where human souls are waitin to be born~ ( Groovy.. it a soul factory~)
It is also home to the highest Order of Angels: The Seraphim, Cherubim, (so tats wat it is...) and Thrones.
WEll.... at least u know wat button to press on the lift when u die...~
UNless u go to heLL tat is... ~
I'd like to end of this HIstory Lesson to say tat i am not Satanic or Extremly Religious.. i just thought it'd be cool to show ppl how fukin Stupid all this shit is... n how impossible n (in some cases) completely Retarded the whole Angel n Devil & God & Life & Death Conspiricy is...
With so many Different religions in the world.. n so many different versions of God.. of course there's gonna be conflict n shit~
This is y i dont like god (if he/she were real).... because ppl have Died for so many reason in the name of Religion...
Just look at NOrthern Ireland, World War 2, the Crusades & 911...
u think God wants us to kill each other ?!
OPEN UR EYES U MOTHERFUCKIN FACIST!!!
So....
My advice to religion is...
u dont have to believe it (like me~)...
but at least Respect it~
The world would be a better place if there wasnt any idea of GOd in the 1st place..
but hey...
thats just me~
xxx
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Demonology 101~
hi folks~
im feelin extra Sadistic today, so im gonna do a little tribute to Evil~
Demonology is, of course, the study of Demons... all kinds from all forms of religion.. Christian, Islamic, Greek, Buddhisim, Judaism...
You wouldn't believe the no. of Demons there are in Hell...
But im just gonna write about the more "Evil-er" ones...
So here it goes...
Demonology 101~
Lets start with the most Famous of Devils... the Four Princes of HeLL~
Begining With Satan.... Lord of Flames...
In some instances, he's given a title known as "Lucifer" which means "Bringer of Light" in Roman... ( Ironic how the Lord of the Damned is known as a Light-Bearer... -_- ) THe word Lucifer is synonymous with Satan.. that means their both the same person...
Anyway, in christianity, the Devil is seen as a Fallen Angel.. He was apparently under the authority of God but didnt seem to like how he was running things so he waged a War against him...
In my opinion, Lucifer isnt really a bad guy.. he's an Angel with a mind of his own tat decided that God wasnt doing a fair job n wanted to take matters into his own hands.. n since GOd is seen as this Great embodiment of Good..... the fella that opposes would automatically be the opposite of Good... tats Evil~
2nd on the list is Leviathan.. Prince of Liars..the great Dragon from the Watery Abyss... as well as the 3rd of the Four Princes of HeLL... (like i said b4, Lucifer n Satan r both sort of the same but they are also different embodiments... )
According to research n shit, Leviathan is this big ass whale with seven heads that devours the souls of the Damned on Judgement Day...
THe last Prince of HELL.. is known as Belial, the Worthless One....~
Belial is the carnal side of man, the lust, sex, pleasure... his element is the Earth.. he's a champion for just being Human... for the lust,sex & Pleasure~
So to sum things up....
Satan's element is Fire... n his rules the South..
Lucifer's Element is Air... he rules the East...
Leviathan's element is the Sea.. West...
& Belial is Earth n rule's North...
the Satanic Compass is inverted so North is actually South & East is acutally West..
F.Y.I
Ok.... all the Princes are done.. now.. its on to the minions..
INtroducing...
Beelzebub, "Lord of the Flies" & also the Prince Of Demons...
He ususally takes on the appearence of.. u guessed it... a fly...
also he pukes flames of Vomit.. go figure~
Astaroth ...Prince of Thrones, Lord Treasurer of Hell & Head of the 8th Order of Hell who commands 40 legions...
This Bad mother is one of the Chief Generals of HeLL n his name usually appears in Video games...
Baal.. the Lord of Destruction... a Greater Demon of hell... he is the first commanding general of the infernal armies he appears as a three headed beast with spider legs.. go play Diablo 2 if u dont know...
Mephistopheles ( also Mephisto, Mephistophilus, Mephist ) known as that which avoids the light ... known as the LOrd of Hatred... another General of Hell.. again.. go play Diablo 2 if u arent familiar with him..
Samaël, known as the Venom Of God & Angel of Death.. Sammael plays the role of the accuser, seducer, and destroyer...also one of the Princes Of Demons.. He is also the executioner of the death sentences...
oh man.. there are like a 100 more demons i havent mentioned.. u guys should really check them out... wat better way to understand life...
then to understand Death...
i know God is good n all.. but the Devil is just so much coolier..
with such a huge army... i wonder y they havent stormed the gates of Heaven yet...
oh well...~
666
im feelin extra Sadistic today, so im gonna do a little tribute to Evil~
Demonology is, of course, the study of Demons... all kinds from all forms of religion.. Christian, Islamic, Greek, Buddhisim, Judaism...
You wouldn't believe the no. of Demons there are in Hell...
But im just gonna write about the more "Evil-er" ones...
So here it goes...
Demonology 101~
Lets start with the most Famous of Devils... the Four Princes of HeLL~
Begining With Satan.... Lord of Flames...
In some instances, he's given a title known as "Lucifer" which means "Bringer of Light" in Roman... ( Ironic how the Lord of the Damned is known as a Light-Bearer... -_- ) THe word Lucifer is synonymous with Satan.. that means their both the same person...
Anyway, in christianity, the Devil is seen as a Fallen Angel.. He was apparently under the authority of God but didnt seem to like how he was running things so he waged a War against him...
In my opinion, Lucifer isnt really a bad guy.. he's an Angel with a mind of his own tat decided that God wasnt doing a fair job n wanted to take matters into his own hands.. n since GOd is seen as this Great embodiment of Good..... the fella that opposes would automatically be the opposite of Good... tats Evil~
2nd on the list is Leviathan.. Prince of Liars..the great Dragon from the Watery Abyss... as well as the 3rd of the Four Princes of HeLL... (like i said b4, Lucifer n Satan r both sort of the same but they are also different embodiments... )
According to research n shit, Leviathan is this big ass whale with seven heads that devours the souls of the Damned on Judgement Day...
THe last Prince of HELL.. is known as Belial, the Worthless One....~
Belial is the carnal side of man, the lust, sex, pleasure... his element is the Earth.. he's a champion for just being Human... for the lust,sex & Pleasure~
So to sum things up....
Satan's element is Fire... n his rules the South..
Lucifer's Element is Air... he rules the East...
Leviathan's element is the Sea.. West...
& Belial is Earth n rule's North...
the Satanic Compass is inverted so North is actually South & East is acutally West..
F.Y.I
Ok.... all the Princes are done.. now.. its on to the minions..
INtroducing...
Beelzebub, "Lord of the Flies" & also the Prince Of Demons...
He ususally takes on the appearence of.. u guessed it... a fly...
also he pukes flames of Vomit.. go figure~
Astaroth ...Prince of Thrones, Lord Treasurer of Hell & Head of the 8th Order of Hell who commands 40 legions...
This Bad mother is one of the Chief Generals of HeLL n his name usually appears in Video games...
Baal.. the Lord of Destruction... a Greater Demon of hell... he is the first commanding general of the infernal armies he appears as a three headed beast with spider legs.. go play Diablo 2 if u dont know...
Mephistopheles ( also Mephisto, Mephistophilus, Mephist ) known as that which avoids the light ... known as the LOrd of Hatred... another General of Hell.. again.. go play Diablo 2 if u arent familiar with him..
Samaël, known as the Venom Of God & Angel of Death.. Sammael plays the role of the accuser, seducer, and destroyer...also one of the Princes Of Demons.. He is also the executioner of the death sentences...
oh man.. there are like a 100 more demons i havent mentioned.. u guys should really check them out... wat better way to understand life...
then to understand Death...
i know God is good n all.. but the Devil is just so much coolier..
with such a huge army... i wonder y they havent stormed the gates of Heaven yet...
oh well...~
666
Friday, June 16, 2006
the girL~
Every once in a while.. i get to see her... the girL~
i admire her frm a distance never wanting to go close..
i watch her as she heads towards the crowd.. but i never lose sight of her....
her beauty so natural & innocent..~
her hair was soft as silk...~
her body.... posed n seductive~
her smile.. so sweet n sincere....~
and her eyes...
oh her eyes~
So full of light...
her gaze alone could calm a raging bull...
her stare... so tantalizing... u couldnt look away.....~
she was the perfect embodiment of Beauty, Blood & Flesh....
Just like a glass of wine: Sweet, SOft & fresh...
She walked with a captivative stride across the field...
her body moving so gracefully with every step...
her brown hair bounces thru the breeze..
her tender lips so glossy & moist...
Sometimes she would see me.... our eyes would meet... & she would send a smile my way tat would drive me insane...
Her Voice... was as soft n sweet as honey & sugar..
As she spoke, I cess to hear anything else....
It is like music to my ears~
i understood every word she said.. then with one look into her eyes.. forget everything all over again..~
She was drowning me with her stare...~
i loved it...
her skin was smooth & flawless...
& her touch so gentle & mesmerizing... overcoming my body with an enchantment that was hard to restain....~
I think of her when she's not around... everywhere i go .. everything i do... she's on my mind... in my head... in my dreams... every girl i see reminds me of her~
Absences makes the heart grow fonder...~
Every Day feels like a yr.. Every moment.. is an eternity~
But i still wait.. patiently... longingly.. to see her again...
With every encounter... i learn alittle bit more about her..... maybe in time she'd feel the same way.... or maybe she already does...~
Until the next time we meet...
until i see her again...or until she sees me...
Everlasting in my dreams: the girL~
i admire her frm a distance never wanting to go close..
i watch her as she heads towards the crowd.. but i never lose sight of her....
her beauty so natural & innocent..~
her hair was soft as silk...~
her body.... posed n seductive~
her smile.. so sweet n sincere....~
and her eyes...
oh her eyes~
So full of light...
her gaze alone could calm a raging bull...
her stare... so tantalizing... u couldnt look away.....~
she was the perfect embodiment of Beauty, Blood & Flesh....
Just like a glass of wine: Sweet, SOft & fresh...
She walked with a captivative stride across the field...
her body moving so gracefully with every step...
her brown hair bounces thru the breeze..
her tender lips so glossy & moist...
Sometimes she would see me.... our eyes would meet... & she would send a smile my way tat would drive me insane...
Her Voice... was as soft n sweet as honey & sugar..
As she spoke, I cess to hear anything else....
It is like music to my ears~
i understood every word she said.. then with one look into her eyes.. forget everything all over again..~
She was drowning me with her stare...~
i loved it...
her skin was smooth & flawless...
& her touch so gentle & mesmerizing... overcoming my body with an enchantment that was hard to restain....~
I think of her when she's not around... everywhere i go .. everything i do... she's on my mind... in my head... in my dreams... every girl i see reminds me of her~
Absences makes the heart grow fonder...~
Every Day feels like a yr.. Every moment.. is an eternity~
But i still wait.. patiently... longingly.. to see her again...
With every encounter... i learn alittle bit more about her..... maybe in time she'd feel the same way.... or maybe she already does...~
Until the next time we meet...
until i see her again...or until she sees me...
Everlasting in my dreams: the girL~
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
06/06/06 ~
"HeLL"-o everyone... today is a very special day in the history of the world...
This date 06/06/06 can onli happen once every 1000 years..
Today we celibrate one of the most important events in all of history~!!!
It is of course.. none other than...
SATAN'S BIRTHDAY !!!
HAPPY bIRTHD@y tooo YoU~
h@pPy B1rtHdaY 2 U ~
haPPy BrtHDAy to SATAN ...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOO UUUUUuuuuu!!!!
Yes! tats right! today we celibrate the Birth of the DEVIL!
On this joyous occasion.. ppl all over the world are Sacrificing Virgins to Volcanos n Drinkin the blood of children to commemorate this day...
Also on this day.. all Satanic Worshipers get a 66% discount on all Wooden crosses & Goats as well as the occasional Weapons of Mass Destruction...
Oh yes, did i forgot to mention tat at 6.06pm tonight...
THE WORLD IS GONNA END!
YES! tats right! So for a limited time onli.. there will be a sale on Hang-Man ropes... Guns... Electric Chairs.. Carbon Monoxide Gas tanks & other do-it-yourself Suicide materials.. in case u wanna take urself out b4 the big BANG!
There will also be Free admission thru the Gates of HeLL for one day onli! Lucifer himself will Greet u at the Entrance .. so wat are u waitin for?!
DIE NOW!
This Gr8 Offer onli lasts till midnight tonite!
DOnt miss tis chance to spend ur after-life condemed to face everlasting punishment & DOOM while suffering eternal Damnation in the Firery Depths Of HELL..
FOR ALL OF ETERNITY~!!!!
Miss this chance & u'll have to commit Mass Murder or Blow SHit up not to mention spending ur days alive rotting in jail for YEARS b4 u could ever get a chance to stand beside Satan.... ~
Heaven is Overrated.. HeLL is the PLace to Be....~
As Hitler Once said...
"Life's A Bitch... & then u Die... so Fuck the world & LETS GET HIGH!"
Fre3ze (ur Lord & Master) OuT!~
This date 06/06/06 can onli happen once every 1000 years..
Today we celibrate one of the most important events in all of history~!!!
It is of course.. none other than...
SATAN'S BIRTHDAY !!!
HAPPY bIRTHD@y tooo YoU~
h@pPy B1rtHdaY 2 U ~
haPPy BrtHDAy to SATAN ...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOO UUUUUuuuuu!!!!
Yes! tats right! today we celibrate the Birth of the DEVIL!
On this joyous occasion.. ppl all over the world are Sacrificing Virgins to Volcanos n Drinkin the blood of children to commemorate this day...
Also on this day.. all Satanic Worshipers get a 66% discount on all Wooden crosses & Goats as well as the occasional Weapons of Mass Destruction...
Oh yes, did i forgot to mention tat at 6.06pm tonight...
THE WORLD IS GONNA END!
YES! tats right! So for a limited time onli.. there will be a sale on Hang-Man ropes... Guns... Electric Chairs.. Carbon Monoxide Gas tanks & other do-it-yourself Suicide materials.. in case u wanna take urself out b4 the big BANG!
There will also be Free admission thru the Gates of HeLL for one day onli! Lucifer himself will Greet u at the Entrance .. so wat are u waitin for?!
DIE NOW!
This Gr8 Offer onli lasts till midnight tonite!
DOnt miss tis chance to spend ur after-life condemed to face everlasting punishment & DOOM while suffering eternal Damnation in the Firery Depths Of HELL..
FOR ALL OF ETERNITY~!!!!
Miss this chance & u'll have to commit Mass Murder or Blow SHit up not to mention spending ur days alive rotting in jail for YEARS b4 u could ever get a chance to stand beside Satan.... ~
Heaven is Overrated.. HeLL is the PLace to Be....~
As Hitler Once said...
"Life's A Bitch... & then u Die... so Fuck the world & LETS GET HIGH!"
Fre3ze (ur Lord & Master) OuT!~
Sunday, June 04, 2006
World through my eyes~
i couldn't get any work done this morning...~
Felt tired n weary but the coffee kept me awake... at around half-past noon... i decided to take a walk downstairs my home... get a little fresh air...maybe tat way i could concentrate better...
Brought some books down as well as a half-full Can of Nescafe & a pack of Marlboro Lights with 8 sticks inside...
The 1st floor button in one of the lifts was a little screwy... it wouldn't light up.. so i had to press the 2nd floor n walk down one lvl... i made my way down to the 1st floor n wandered around the area a little... found a nice cosy spot located in the middle of all the blocks...
The place was pretty shady unfortunatly the table there was dirty... but i decided to set up camp there anyway...
It was a nice spot... on the right was the car park... on my left was my old secondary sch n more cars.... infront of me was a patch of grass with 2 huge trees in it....
The scenery was beautiful....It felt very peaceful...
May not seem like much to look at... but i guess this was one of those things where u had to be there to understand...
The afternoon Sun shone down like an inferno... but the temperature was'nt hot.. instead.. it had a calming warmth to it.....
The air was dry n breezy...The wind blew warm gust of heat that fluttered the pages of my books...
I lit up my 1st cigarette n just sat there to observe..... i saw 2 birds ( those little black ones with yellow beaks tat like to hop around alot ) chasin each other infront of me.. i watched how they seem to shift their little heads vigoriously in search of something we humans probably couldnt detect.... they seemed to be hunting for something.. or maybe playin some bird game of hide-n-seek...
It was cute...~
i tried luring one of them closer with my pencil but it just stared at me curiously .... so i flicked my cigarette bud at one of them n they both flew away...hehehehe........~
I opened my book n started to go thru all the notes i had written during lesson time... taking little smoke breaks in between...
2nd stick...
Saw a couple of ppl walk by... mothers fetchin her kids to sunday tution classes... Maids carrying buckets of water down to wash cars... Familys where goin to church or visiting relatives.....It was a Sunday after all... Sunday was always "Family Day"... All this stuff seemed very normal.... but somehow it amused me~
3rd Stick...
some lady asked me how to get to blk 456... i just pointed in some direction n told her it was that way~
Even though i've lived in this area for over 4 yrs... i dont even know anything about it... tat kinda freaked me out... but i didnt really care... i was more interested in watchin the ants infront of me run around as i chased them with my cigarette bud...
4th Stick...
by the 4th stick i had formed a little mountain of cig buds at the corner of the wall where i had flicked all the buds... the ants had all evapourated n i was about to call it a day when i this garbage truck came..
It was a big & red truck tat made this loud beeping noise everytime it backed up towards the place where all the junk was...
i watched how the trash guys unloaded all the junk into the back of the truck b4 they themselves hopped onto its side & headed over to the next block...
it was fun~
Afterwards, I felt kinda bad for flickin my cig buds everywhere... but i didnt really do anything about it...
5th stick....
i had stopped studying... even though i had onli spend about an hr revising.. i had learnt more in this hr than wat i would normally learn in a whole day of sch...
i explored around the patch of grass infront of me...
Saw a snail n a lizard & collected a few cool lookin rocks...
It felt very pleasent being this close to nature.. it was a very captivating feeling... even though it was just a little patch of grass with 2 trees & a couple of bugs in it...
The world truly is a beautiful place.... its not really wat u see.. but how u see things...
I realised something as i took another puff, the irony of it all.... i wanted to protect this place.. this enviroment... i wanted to live to see it grow.. into an even more beautiful place...
But here i was..killing myself slowly with every breath i take... polluting the air with every exhale...
Why are ppl so oblivious of their surroundings... no one ever stops to smell the roses anymore...
i wanted to protect this place... but i just didnt care enough to do anything about it... there were 3 sticks left but i decided to leave them for antoher day... as I inhaled tat last bit of death... i stubbed it out into the trash can this time....
It was the least i could do...~
Felt tired n weary but the coffee kept me awake... at around half-past noon... i decided to take a walk downstairs my home... get a little fresh air...maybe tat way i could concentrate better...
Brought some books down as well as a half-full Can of Nescafe & a pack of Marlboro Lights with 8 sticks inside...
The 1st floor button in one of the lifts was a little screwy... it wouldn't light up.. so i had to press the 2nd floor n walk down one lvl... i made my way down to the 1st floor n wandered around the area a little... found a nice cosy spot located in the middle of all the blocks...
The place was pretty shady unfortunatly the table there was dirty... but i decided to set up camp there anyway...
It was a nice spot... on the right was the car park... on my left was my old secondary sch n more cars.... infront of me was a patch of grass with 2 huge trees in it....
The scenery was beautiful....It felt very peaceful...
May not seem like much to look at... but i guess this was one of those things where u had to be there to understand...
The afternoon Sun shone down like an inferno... but the temperature was'nt hot.. instead.. it had a calming warmth to it.....
The air was dry n breezy...The wind blew warm gust of heat that fluttered the pages of my books...
I lit up my 1st cigarette n just sat there to observe..... i saw 2 birds ( those little black ones with yellow beaks tat like to hop around alot ) chasin each other infront of me.. i watched how they seem to shift their little heads vigoriously in search of something we humans probably couldnt detect.... they seemed to be hunting for something.. or maybe playin some bird game of hide-n-seek...
It was cute...~
i tried luring one of them closer with my pencil but it just stared at me curiously .... so i flicked my cigarette bud at one of them n they both flew away...hehehehe........~
I opened my book n started to go thru all the notes i had written during lesson time... taking little smoke breaks in between...
2nd stick...
Saw a couple of ppl walk by... mothers fetchin her kids to sunday tution classes... Maids carrying buckets of water down to wash cars... Familys where goin to church or visiting relatives.....It was a Sunday after all... Sunday was always "Family Day"... All this stuff seemed very normal.... but somehow it amused me~
3rd Stick...
some lady asked me how to get to blk 456... i just pointed in some direction n told her it was that way~
Even though i've lived in this area for over 4 yrs... i dont even know anything about it... tat kinda freaked me out... but i didnt really care... i was more interested in watchin the ants infront of me run around as i chased them with my cigarette bud...
4th Stick...
by the 4th stick i had formed a little mountain of cig buds at the corner of the wall where i had flicked all the buds... the ants had all evapourated n i was about to call it a day when i this garbage truck came..
It was a big & red truck tat made this loud beeping noise everytime it backed up towards the place where all the junk was...
i watched how the trash guys unloaded all the junk into the back of the truck b4 they themselves hopped onto its side & headed over to the next block...
it was fun~
Afterwards, I felt kinda bad for flickin my cig buds everywhere... but i didnt really do anything about it...
5th stick....
i had stopped studying... even though i had onli spend about an hr revising.. i had learnt more in this hr than wat i would normally learn in a whole day of sch...
i explored around the patch of grass infront of me...
Saw a snail n a lizard & collected a few cool lookin rocks...
It felt very pleasent being this close to nature.. it was a very captivating feeling... even though it was just a little patch of grass with 2 trees & a couple of bugs in it...
The world truly is a beautiful place.... its not really wat u see.. but how u see things...
I realised something as i took another puff, the irony of it all.... i wanted to protect this place.. this enviroment... i wanted to live to see it grow.. into an even more beautiful place...
But here i was..killing myself slowly with every breath i take... polluting the air with every exhale...
Why are ppl so oblivious of their surroundings... no one ever stops to smell the roses anymore...
i wanted to protect this place... but i just didnt care enough to do anything about it... there were 3 sticks left but i decided to leave them for antoher day... as I inhaled tat last bit of death... i stubbed it out into the trash can this time....
It was the least i could do...~
My Mother~
My Mom went on a vacation to Hong Kong 2 days ago with my aunt... they were gonna meet my uncle, hu was currently workin there n had an apartment in HK which, i was told, was where they'll be stayin...
I have always told my Mom how happy i would if she'd went on a holiday without me... i could have the whole house to myself... no one to interrupt me when im watchin tv.. no one to tell me to pick up my clothes on the floor when im bz playin video games or when im amusing myself in someway...
I always thought it would be cool... not to have someone to tell u wat to do....
& it was... the 1st 2 days i barely even noticed she was gone..
When she was still in Singapore, she'd go off to work at 7.30 in the morning.. n come home at around 10pm... sometimes at 6 or 8 if she's lucky... during which, i would slack at home.. waitin for her to come back n spend sometime with me...
& when she did came back... she'd start askin me to wash up the dishes i left in the sink ... & to go do my work... or to go tidy my room...
It was annoying as hell....~
Then i'd wish she would've just stayed at work...
I'd ususally jokingly threaten to quit sch n go join the army so i can live away frm her... but she'd always tell me to remember to pack " ur mother " b4 i leave for camp...~
Anyway, the 1st 2 days.. i barely noticed she was gone... when i wake up.. she was gone.. when i went to bed... she'd return.....
The 1st 2 days i must admit.....was a Blast~
My Father & Sis where both workin as well... so i'll have the whole house to my self.. every day from the time i got back frm sch till the time my father came back... now.. im not really close with my father... & he'd always just lock himself in his room all the time.. so i guess tat still counts as me having the house to myself... as for my Sis.. she gets home at around 11.30pm... which is cool too since she always takes over the TV n computer once she returns.... & i do give in to her demands.... i dont like to fight with family...
I spent my alone time just lazyin around at home.. doing wat i wanted without any interruption.. without any disturbance... i felt peaceful... i felt free~
i could turn the volume of the TV or radio to the Max... i could leave my shit lying around without them bothering anyone... i could smoke freely in my own house...
hell.. i could even run around naked n start doing cart-wheels without anyone batting an eye....
I was free~
ONe day.. my mom called frm HK.. it was a Saturday morining at around 9.30am... the ringing woke me up... she'd call to check up on me.. she asked how i was n if she wanted her to buy anything frm HK...
I was barely awake n couldnt really rememember wat else she said.. onli tat she was eating Dim Sum at some fancy restaraunt i think... oh.. n tat she also bought me a
T-shirt...
i wanted to go back to bed... my head was hurtin frm the night b4 when my sister was watchin some lame ass chinese gameshow at 4 in the morning cause she couldnt sleep...
i told her everything was cool back home n to come back soon... then i went off to my bed... tats when it happened...
i started to think of my mom n how she was doing in HK... is she safe? was she having Fun? u know 2 be honest, she didnt sound very happy when we conversed on the phone.. she sounded kinda bored... in fact...or maybe the bad reception just made her voice sound tat way~
That made me worried... was she not havin fun in a foreign country?
Did something happen to make her upset?
Did someone cause my mother to become unhappy in anyway when she was in HK...?
THen tat made me a little angry..
Hu would have done something to upset my mom...?
i knew she was such an innocent n sweet lady....the perfect target for criminals...
She was too nice for her own good... i always told her tat.... she'd always donate to charity & help people n stuff... even simple things like.. holdin the lift door open for someone or lettin them jump ahead in queue...
It was hard to believe i was related to her... cause i am NOT like tat...
She had such a positive thinking towards everthing... she had hope tat bad things would get better... n if they didnt .. it'd make her feel sad n disappointed...
I hated to see her disappointed... because she kept having her hopes destroyed... i told her to stop it.. to stop hoping all the time.. to live in the real world & not some fantasy land of dreams n opportunities...
She was always so stubborn...~
I couldnt picture wat could have happened over there tat would make her upset, if she ever was upset in the 1st place.... but i did know wat i would do to the person if i ever got a hold of him...
I believe tat u cant continue living if u didnt have someone in ur life worth dying for... tat person would be her...~
I love my mother very much.. and, believe me or not, would KILL hu ever tat causes any form of harm or pain to my mother or any of my family members...
I WILL Kill you~
I called her later tat day.. i told her i missed her n wished her a safe n happy (not to mention fast..) journey home... she sounded happy n told me to go study hard.
This was the 1st time in a long time i had felt this alone....
I didnt like feeling free anymore... i wanted some one to tell me wat to do.. to boss me around...
My Mom will be coming back in another 2 days time.... i guess i could look on the bright side n enjoy the freedom i still have....
i've never written anything about my mother b4... this is probably the 1st story i've written about her... Consider it a belated mother's day gift... a gift i wish she never gets to read... it would just be too embarassing....
I end my little story about my Mom by wishing all the mothers out there a safe life.....
& to say tat my Mom is better then urs... neh neh....
oh yeah... b4 i sign out... i would just like to remind everyone...
Dont Ever FUCK With My Family~
Fre3ze... Out~
x(Dedicated to my Mom)x
I have always told my Mom how happy i would if she'd went on a holiday without me... i could have the whole house to myself... no one to interrupt me when im watchin tv.. no one to tell me to pick up my clothes on the floor when im bz playin video games or when im amusing myself in someway...
I always thought it would be cool... not to have someone to tell u wat to do....
& it was... the 1st 2 days i barely even noticed she was gone..
When she was still in Singapore, she'd go off to work at 7.30 in the morning.. n come home at around 10pm... sometimes at 6 or 8 if she's lucky... during which, i would slack at home.. waitin for her to come back n spend sometime with me...
& when she did came back... she'd start askin me to wash up the dishes i left in the sink ... & to go do my work... or to go tidy my room...
It was annoying as hell....~
Then i'd wish she would've just stayed at work...
I'd ususally jokingly threaten to quit sch n go join the army so i can live away frm her... but she'd always tell me to remember to pack " ur mother " b4 i leave for camp...~
Anyway, the 1st 2 days.. i barely noticed she was gone... when i wake up.. she was gone.. when i went to bed... she'd return.....
The 1st 2 days i must admit.....was a Blast~
My Father & Sis where both workin as well... so i'll have the whole house to my self.. every day from the time i got back frm sch till the time my father came back... now.. im not really close with my father... & he'd always just lock himself in his room all the time.. so i guess tat still counts as me having the house to myself... as for my Sis.. she gets home at around 11.30pm... which is cool too since she always takes over the TV n computer once she returns.... & i do give in to her demands.... i dont like to fight with family...
I spent my alone time just lazyin around at home.. doing wat i wanted without any interruption.. without any disturbance... i felt peaceful... i felt free~
i could turn the volume of the TV or radio to the Max... i could leave my shit lying around without them bothering anyone... i could smoke freely in my own house...
hell.. i could even run around naked n start doing cart-wheels without anyone batting an eye....
I was free~
ONe day.. my mom called frm HK.. it was a Saturday morining at around 9.30am... the ringing woke me up... she'd call to check up on me.. she asked how i was n if she wanted her to buy anything frm HK...
I was barely awake n couldnt really rememember wat else she said.. onli tat she was eating Dim Sum at some fancy restaraunt i think... oh.. n tat she also bought me a
T-shirt...
i wanted to go back to bed... my head was hurtin frm the night b4 when my sister was watchin some lame ass chinese gameshow at 4 in the morning cause she couldnt sleep...
i told her everything was cool back home n to come back soon... then i went off to my bed... tats when it happened...
i started to think of my mom n how she was doing in HK... is she safe? was she having Fun? u know 2 be honest, she didnt sound very happy when we conversed on the phone.. she sounded kinda bored... in fact...or maybe the bad reception just made her voice sound tat way~
That made me worried... was she not havin fun in a foreign country?
Did something happen to make her upset?
Did someone cause my mother to become unhappy in anyway when she was in HK...?
THen tat made me a little angry..
Hu would have done something to upset my mom...?
i knew she was such an innocent n sweet lady....the perfect target for criminals...
She was too nice for her own good... i always told her tat.... she'd always donate to charity & help people n stuff... even simple things like.. holdin the lift door open for someone or lettin them jump ahead in queue...
It was hard to believe i was related to her... cause i am NOT like tat...
She had such a positive thinking towards everthing... she had hope tat bad things would get better... n if they didnt .. it'd make her feel sad n disappointed...
I hated to see her disappointed... because she kept having her hopes destroyed... i told her to stop it.. to stop hoping all the time.. to live in the real world & not some fantasy land of dreams n opportunities...
She was always so stubborn...~
I couldnt picture wat could have happened over there tat would make her upset, if she ever was upset in the 1st place.... but i did know wat i would do to the person if i ever got a hold of him...
I believe tat u cant continue living if u didnt have someone in ur life worth dying for... tat person would be her...~
I love my mother very much.. and, believe me or not, would KILL hu ever tat causes any form of harm or pain to my mother or any of my family members...
I WILL Kill you~
I called her later tat day.. i told her i missed her n wished her a safe n happy (not to mention fast..) journey home... she sounded happy n told me to go study hard.
This was the 1st time in a long time i had felt this alone....
I didnt like feeling free anymore... i wanted some one to tell me wat to do.. to boss me around...
My Mom will be coming back in another 2 days time.... i guess i could look on the bright side n enjoy the freedom i still have....
i've never written anything about my mother b4... this is probably the 1st story i've written about her... Consider it a belated mother's day gift... a gift i wish she never gets to read... it would just be too embarassing....
I end my little story about my Mom by wishing all the mothers out there a safe life.....
& to say tat my Mom is better then urs... neh neh....
oh yeah... b4 i sign out... i would just like to remind everyone...
Dont Ever FUCK With My Family~
Fre3ze... Out~
x(Dedicated to my Mom)x
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Ever Wondered If.......... ( Santa Claus was Real~)
Im sure u all know hu Santa Claus is... that fat jolly guy tat lives in the NOrth Pole n gives kids toys every Chirstmas... yeah... good O'saint Nick...
Now.. imagine he was real...
& he was living in the REAL World..
by REAL world i mean present day.. like 2006.. imagine him now...
1st off .. since Santa has been around since ... i dunno... since god was invented..
So by now.. he must be old as a fuckin dinosaur..
Poor Poor Santa...~
Imagine him.. so old.. n weak.. barely able to make it to the front door...
He lives in a cold n isolated place.. never to be found by civilisation.. n him.. staying there.. year after year after year... without ever having contact with the outside world... except for tat one day every year...
Imagine a race of Elves tat live in these Ice Caverns... making invisible toys for all yr round n forcing a poor.. old.. & weak man to deliver these gifts to children in every house of every town.. of every city ... of every country.. all in one endless night...
Imagine him sobbing & protesting to the Elves, hu unfortunately ...doesnt even speak his language, but converse in their own undistinguishable Tongue...begging them for him to be set free from their necromantic rituals of pleasing children around the world...
Imagine Santa.. tired... & in despair... feeling sorrowful & hopelessness...
He wanted to die...
but the Elves' magic kept him alive... kept him isolated from the world... onli letting him out once a year but would be fiercly guarded by 10 Harrowing Beast bred & raised by the Elves to transport him frm the Icy Depths of their hidden cave in the North Pole.. to the outside world...
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen & the most horrid of them all... Rudoph (the one with the "Red Nose")
THese 10 Beasts stood 12 metres high with grotesque features.. especially the one they so simply named.. "Rudoph the Red", the leader of the hideous pack... who's front horn was the size of a fully grown man & glowed with a nightmarish colour of Red ...
It can be seen miles away as he leads his pack of Diablolical Minions across the dark night skies... a glowing Red penetrating the icy winds.. Revealing the path ahead in an evil dim colour of Blood Red...
St. Nicholas envied Loki,
(who.. as punishment for his evil deeds..
was binded to 3 slabs of stone with a snake placed over his head so that its venom would pour onto him.. searing the GOd of Mischief's face...)
Judas
(hu betrayed Jeus n was Crucified)
& Prometheus...
(who rebelled against Zeus & as punishment, an Eagle of the Caucasus would tear at his flesh and clawed his liver.... Each night the torn flesh would mend & the Eagle would begin anew at the first touch of Dawn...)
For his punishment.. was much harsher....~
So every year.. on the 25th of December..... let us put the Joy of Chirstmas aside & mourn for
o'saint Nicholas... for he is just a poor poor man.. hu cannot live.. & cannot Die...
Think about this the next time u want to celebrate Xmas...
Imagine... if Santa was real.....
Ho ho ho~
Now.. imagine he was real...
& he was living in the REAL World..
by REAL world i mean present day.. like 2006.. imagine him now...
1st off .. since Santa has been around since ... i dunno... since god was invented..
So by now.. he must be old as a fuckin dinosaur..
Poor Poor Santa...~
Imagine him.. so old.. n weak.. barely able to make it to the front door...
He lives in a cold n isolated place.. never to be found by civilisation.. n him.. staying there.. year after year after year... without ever having contact with the outside world... except for tat one day every year...
Imagine a race of Elves tat live in these Ice Caverns... making invisible toys for all yr round n forcing a poor.. old.. & weak man to deliver these gifts to children in every house of every town.. of every city ... of every country.. all in one endless night...
Imagine him sobbing & protesting to the Elves, hu unfortunately ...doesnt even speak his language, but converse in their own undistinguishable Tongue...begging them for him to be set free from their necromantic rituals of pleasing children around the world...
Imagine Santa.. tired... & in despair... feeling sorrowful & hopelessness...
He wanted to die...
but the Elves' magic kept him alive... kept him isolated from the world... onli letting him out once a year but would be fiercly guarded by 10 Harrowing Beast bred & raised by the Elves to transport him frm the Icy Depths of their hidden cave in the North Pole.. to the outside world...
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen & the most horrid of them all... Rudoph (the one with the "Red Nose")
THese 10 Beasts stood 12 metres high with grotesque features.. especially the one they so simply named.. "Rudoph the Red", the leader of the hideous pack... who's front horn was the size of a fully grown man & glowed with a nightmarish colour of Red ...
It can be seen miles away as he leads his pack of Diablolical Minions across the dark night skies... a glowing Red penetrating the icy winds.. Revealing the path ahead in an evil dim colour of Blood Red...
St. Nicholas envied Loki,
(who.. as punishment for his evil deeds..
was binded to 3 slabs of stone with a snake placed over his head so that its venom would pour onto him.. searing the GOd of Mischief's face...)
Judas
(hu betrayed Jeus n was Crucified)
& Prometheus...
(who rebelled against Zeus & as punishment, an Eagle of the Caucasus would tear at his flesh and clawed his liver.... Each night the torn flesh would mend & the Eagle would begin anew at the first touch of Dawn...)
For his punishment.. was much harsher....~
So every year.. on the 25th of December..... let us put the Joy of Chirstmas aside & mourn for
o'saint Nicholas... for he is just a poor poor man.. hu cannot live.. & cannot Die...
Think about this the next time u want to celebrate Xmas...
Imagine... if Santa was real.....
Ho ho ho~
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
A little bit about Me~ very little...
hi everyone...
A friend of mine brought to my attention tat i dont write much about myself...
He says i should write more about the crap that happens in my actual life n mock about tat...
Well.. 1st off.. i already told u ppl in my very 1st entry that im not going to write about my daily activities cause then .. it will just become any other normal blog... not to mention the fact tat i dont want weirdos knowing about the things i've done or the place's i've been...
Secondly.. i live a very boring existance... i sit.. i observe.. i write... its wat i do.. im the kinda person hu watches the ball game instead of competiting in it...
So if i were to write about my day.. it would look something like this:
"Tuesday :
i woke up today..
i went to sch..
i didnt learn anything...
i went home...
-Fre3ze out~ "
Not very entertaining is it....
But... i do have to take these suggestions frm u ppl into consideration... gotta write wat the public wants to read anyway~
And i realise that maybe YOU..the ppl.. could get to know me a little better...
But here's the thing..
i dont want u to get to know me...
i dont like sharing my problems with u ...
& i dont like bitchin about how my life sux to complete strangers...
Nor.. do i.. as a reader.. like to read about ppl .. hu bitch about how their lives sucks to complete strangers...
I swear..-_- no one suffers in silence anymore.... everyone has to "talk about their feelings" n shit...
COme on~~
NO ONE FUCKIN CARES.....
HOWEVER!~
im a nice guy... so i said.. "ok.. sure watever.. i'll do it..."
So... i've dedicated an entire blog entry to write about urs truly... for the sake of the people...
But, i'll write it in a way.. tat at the end of it all.. u wont even know a DAMN thing about me :)
Everyone's happy ~~~
So.. here it goes.. the story of my life:
-My name is A**** Aka Fre3ze
-i live in a tiny ass country called S******** & I HATE IT OVER HERE...
-I live in a normal house... in a normal neighbourhood.. with everyday normal ppl where nothin interesting every happens...
-i study at T****** Poly
-i have no friends...
-i hate all things PINK...
-im Anti- (war, peace, racist, sexist, people, PINK, & many many more~)
-i've never had a pet..
-i hate my mother tongue..
-Im a pessimist...
i see the cup as half empty..
-i have no hope for humanity n believe tat in 100 yrs we're all goin to die frm our meltin polar ice caps or global warmin or some shit like tat...~
-I dont believe in GoD
NOr Heaven.. nor HeLL....
-There is no such thing as life after death.. onli DEaTH after Death...~
u wont go to heaven if ur gd.. & u wont go to hell if ur bad... u just DIE when u DIE.. its tat simple... so dont make this whole circle of life thing so damn dramatic
(i hope u guys are gettin this...)
-We're born to suffer.. we live to die ... :)
-My motto in life is to get it over with~
-And, my favourite phrase is...( if u ask my frens, they'll all agree)
idunwannaliveforever
& i hope u ppl dunwannaliveforever too ~
Fre3ze OuT~
A friend of mine brought to my attention tat i dont write much about myself...
He says i should write more about the crap that happens in my actual life n mock about tat...
Well.. 1st off.. i already told u ppl in my very 1st entry that im not going to write about my daily activities cause then .. it will just become any other normal blog... not to mention the fact tat i dont want weirdos knowing about the things i've done or the place's i've been...
Secondly.. i live a very boring existance... i sit.. i observe.. i write... its wat i do.. im the kinda person hu watches the ball game instead of competiting in it...
So if i were to write about my day.. it would look something like this:
"Tuesday :
i woke up today..
i went to sch..
i didnt learn anything...
i went home...
-Fre3ze out~ "
Not very entertaining is it....
But... i do have to take these suggestions frm u ppl into consideration... gotta write wat the public wants to read anyway~
And i realise that maybe YOU..the ppl.. could get to know me a little better...
But here's the thing..
i dont want u to get to know me...
i dont like sharing my problems with u ...
& i dont like bitchin about how my life sux to complete strangers...
Nor.. do i.. as a reader.. like to read about ppl .. hu bitch about how their lives sucks to complete strangers...
I swear..-_- no one suffers in silence anymore.... everyone has to "talk about their feelings" n shit...
COme on~~
NO ONE FUCKIN CARES.....
HOWEVER!~
im a nice guy... so i said.. "ok.. sure watever.. i'll do it..."
So... i've dedicated an entire blog entry to write about urs truly... for the sake of the people...
But, i'll write it in a way.. tat at the end of it all.. u wont even know a DAMN thing about me :)
Everyone's happy ~~~
So.. here it goes.. the story of my life:
-My name is A**** Aka Fre3ze
-i live in a tiny ass country called S******** & I HATE IT OVER HERE...
-I live in a normal house... in a normal neighbourhood.. with everyday normal ppl where nothin interesting every happens...
-i study at T****** Poly
-i have no friends...
-i hate all things PINK...
-im Anti- (war, peace, racist, sexist, people, PINK, & many many more~)
-i've never had a pet..
-i hate my mother tongue..
-Im a pessimist...
i see the cup as half empty..
-i have no hope for humanity n believe tat in 100 yrs we're all goin to die frm our meltin polar ice caps or global warmin or some shit like tat...~
-I dont believe in GoD
NOr Heaven.. nor HeLL....
-There is no such thing as life after death.. onli DEaTH after Death...~
u wont go to heaven if ur gd.. & u wont go to hell if ur bad... u just DIE when u DIE.. its tat simple... so dont make this whole circle of life thing so damn dramatic
(i hope u guys are gettin this...)
-We're born to suffer.. we live to die ... :)
-My motto in life is to get it over with~
-And, my favourite phrase is...( if u ask my frens, they'll all agree)
idunwannaliveforever
& i hope u ppl dunwannaliveforever too ~
Fre3ze OuT~
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